As soon as a baby is born he or she goes through many different stages of life. I have been through many different stages of life, for example physical change, and most importantly mental or emotional change. Ever since I was born I have been changing and leaving things behind. I left my home country-the comfort and the lifestyle. I have left those who are dear to me. I know you might be wondering, why? I had to let go because my parents wanted my siblings and I to have a better education in a better environment. I was emotionally broken because I was leaving what I have been building for 9 whole years: my past-where I had unique experiences and exciting memories, where people knew and understood me. My experiences and my memories are very important to me. They influence my present and my future. I had no choice, I had to let go. I ended up living in sorrow for a while, but in the end I survived. I found happiness and comfort by making friends and finding the positive sides to things. Letting go of something precious is difficult, yet it is another way to get stronger.

When my family and I left Bangladesh for the United States in 2009 for a better environment and education, I was a nine-year-old who felt she had lost her childhood. For me, time stopped. I felt like I was in a world where everyone was moving but me. I was shivering for my loss. What if I never return? I felt out of balance. Tears rolled down my face, leaving my body as I was leaving my home. After I arrived in the United States, I kept thinking about my home country where I was born, my relatives who knew me very well, and a pet who understood my feelings. I decided to make friends because having a friend gave me the ability to talk to someone. My friends usually cheered me up with their games and jokes. I tried to be happy with what I had. After few months I stopped thinking too much about my past. I felt a part of me say, that’s enough! You cannot go on like this. Thinking and crying about your country and being cheered up by your friends, then repeating this method over and over is too suffocating for a person. It suddenly hit me. I’m thinking so much about my past that I am forgetting to live in the present. I stopped thinking too much and started to be happy with my life. I found new people to talk to and joined school activities to keep myself distracted from sorrowful thoughts. I knew that living in the past would only make me weaker, so I avoided it. I became emotionally stronger.

January 12, 2011, my dad was driving us home from the dentist. No one was talking; everyone was quiet. Now this is unusual, I thought to myself. Usually in the car we all have our own conversations. It would be loud and compact. I asked, “What’s wrong?” In the mirror of the car I saw my dad open his mouth to tell me something, but something stopped him. When I looked to his right, my mom held his hand, tight. “Ma, what’s wrong?” I inquired.

“Do you remember our dog, Tyson?” My mom replied. She told me that Bangladesh, Bhola District Safety group killed him because he did not have his collar on. As soon as I heard that my favorite dog was killed, I felt a sudden rage and an immense amount of pain run through my soul. I sensed my pulse slow down. I closed my eyes and thought, poor Tyson; he was killed by people only because he wasn’t wearing his collar. Tyson did not like wearing his collar. He always tried to bite or pull it off with his paws, and he often ended up bleeding from his mouth. I decided not to put a collar on him. I never even put a leash on him. He was a loyal dog, who I considered my best friend. Whenever I was depressed Tyson would be the first to come and comfort me. He would follow me around everywhere. He never started eating before I did. When I heard that I had lost him, I was so heartbroken that there are no words to express those feelings. I cried with rivers of water running down my face. I thought of him for many days, and I still do, but now I don’t cry anymore. I know, according to my religion, all animals die in peace. Wherever Tyson is, I know that he is delighted, for he is being taken care of every second by his creator. From this experience I learned to find the positive side to things and move on. If I didn't, I’d still feel miserable instead of being happy for Tyson.

During 2010, I was having a happy life. For a 10 year old I had nothing to worry about. I was receiving high grades; my dad had found a better job; and my sister had started her first year in elementary school. One day when I went home after school my mom called me to her and held my hands. By the redness in her eyes and the water on her eyelashes I knew something was wrong. She said, “Your dad left for Bangladesh this morning.”

“Why?” I asked, curiously. The deepness and the sorrowful sound of her voice made me a bit worried about what was going to answer.

“Your dad went to attend your grandfather’s funeral,” she replied. I was shocked; I couldn't believe my ears. For a moment I had no reactions; I was frozen. A minute later I burst out in tears. I cried every time I thought of him. I even threw up a few times because of the headaches I had due to crying. The most painful part was that I didn't get to see his face for the last time, because he died in Bangladesh and I was in the United States. My grandfather is one of my top inspirations because he was the only child in his family to become a lawyer. He set a good example. Most of all he was a loving person. He never argued with anyone over foolish reasons. To lose someone as special as him scarred me. Though I tried to move on, I didn't want to forget any shards of memories of him.

“It is better to pray for someone who died, than to cry for them,” my grandfather once told me, so I pray five times a day, according to my religion, for my grandfather. I pray to Allah that he takes care of my grandfather. Every time I pray for him, I feel that I have achieved something great. I feel spiritually and mentally stronger.

To let go of something precious is just another way to become stronger. I let go of the past and started to prepare for my future. While I longed for my home country-the smell, the sounds, and the voices of those dear to me-I made the best of the situation. Now I have strength that can easily push my sadness away. I learned that I’ll only live once, and if I want to live that one life thoroughly I have to be strong and know how to move on. The only way I’ll be happy is if I move on. Now if I get into a situation where I have to let go of something, I know that I can always sacrifice and move on so that my future is brighter. Kelly Clarkson wrote, “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” I agree with her and know that my journey is just beginning.