“Ugh Richard because of you I have to leave all of my friends my senior year.”
“You know you can call me dad” he said back to me.
“Don’t push it.” Mom told him.
“We are just moving across Country. You are smart, you will make new friends.” Rick said to me.
I went to my room and slammed the door, screaming “I HATE MY LIFE!”
When I went to my bedroom to cry, I thought to myself can my life get any worse than this? I mean after my mother lost my dad, she got with a pretty boy Richard. Not only that but he is moving my whole family from our beautiful home in Los Angeles to an unknown town in Pennsylvania. So he can make more money. Can he not see what he is doing to our family?
As I am packing boxes and more boxes I see my best friend Katie texted me.
“OMG…. Gurl where are U @ I haven’t seen you since last Friday XOXO”
In my reply
“it has only been three days, besides school is over you don’t usually see me every day       in the summer…Sorry I just have been busy. XOXO”
I haven’t told anybody about my move, mostly because I haven’t accepted it myself. As I start crying again I hear my phone go off.
         “Well don’t tell me U R skipping Liam’s party, he’s the LOYL?”
Instead of replying I decided to go get food instead.
The next day we basically said no goodbyes and left our great state of California. We spent hours and hours in complete silence, or at least I did.
I was so tired of doing what Rick said all of the time. He isn’t even my dad; I don’t see how my mother is over the death of my dad so soon. It’s only been four months since he has passed away, and she has already gotten remarried.
After the long 36 hour trip that has been full of non-stop chatter from Rick and my mom, and the constant bickering between my younger siblings we finally arrive in Pennsylvania.  Soon after we arrived I was finally able to talk openly about the move.
Rick said “Carol I hope you love this house I got you.”
In my head all I could think of was “Seriously mom you didn’t even look at the house or the town you are moving us to?” I didn’t want to be rude so I just asked. “What kind of house did you buy?’
Rick said “It’s kind of a surprise!” I slowly responded with “OK?”
Then suddenly Rick showed some excitement as he tells us “We are here!” All I see are trees, grass and a long dirt road.  I gave a look of confusion to my mom and then asked “what is this?” Soon after anger filled my body and it took all I had not to scream and tell him to take me back home, instead I just sat quietly in the back seat and gazed out the window. Soon after we arrived at our new house, much to our dismay it was an old farm house.
From the outside view it looked very different from the condo we once lived in out in LA. We all got out of the car and stretched our legs and gave a sigh of relief to be out of the car. We all slowly walked up to the door taking in the view from around us. As we went inside Rick quickly told us we could go explore our new house. So I ran upstairs to see what was up there. As I am walking down the hall all I see are a lot of closed doors. The curious teenager I am I start opening the doors, I find a bathroom, a small closet, a tiny bedroom and the suddenly a room that I choose as my very own bedroom. There was plenty of space and a ginormous window.
I slowly make my way back downstairs to find my family discussing which room each kid will get. I quickly shouted “I get the room with the big window!” My mom giggles and quietly tells me “that is the one that was already picked out for me.” I quickly responded “Oh!”
For the next couple days as we get settled in, things start to fall in place. I am finally accepting this move and decide to slowly venture out to see what this new town has to offer. My mom lets me take the car out for the day. I didn’t know where to go or what to do, so I remembered seeing a teenage girl up the dirt road so I asked her if she would like to go for a drive.  We quickly introduced ourselves and headed out for a fun afternoon.
I asked Emma “So how long have you lived here?” trying to start a conversation. She responds with a short “I have lived here my whole life!”  I ask her “Where do you go to school?” She responds with “I go to school in the next town over, maybe 15 minutes away.” “I think I am going there too.” Emma responds with “We can hang out every day, and I can introduce you to all of my friends.” I say “That would be great!”
We turn left at the stop light and pull up to the park. We both decided we were hungry so, we stopped at a hot dog stand. We walked around the park for a while talking and getting to know each other. We quickly realized that we could be close friends and have quite a bit in common. As we are walking and chatting we come across a little boy on the sidewalk crying. We walk over to see what is the matter.
He says “Hi my name is Jayson and I just found out that I am in need of a new heart.” He tells us his family cannot afford to pay for this huge operation. He starts crying again and we join in. We are sitting with Jayson trying to comfort him in this difficult time. We ask him how old he was. He quietly responds with “I am only 7 yrs. old” Emma asks him if there is anything we can do to help him out? He says with a quiver in his voice “Is there any way you can get me a new heart?” I had to break the news that I couldn’t get him a new heart and I was very sorry.  We took him back over to the hot dog stand and made sure he had enough food to eat. Then we took him home. On our way back home Emma and I couldn’t stop thinking about this precious little boy and what he is going through.
It’s been about a month now, school has started. I have made some new friends but more importantly I am still the best of friends with Emma. To this day the conversation we had with Jayson has never come back up in conversation. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that this little boy was going to die. I have gone back to that park several times to see if I can find Jayson. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot do anything about it.
Until one morning I woke to a message on my phone from an unknown number, I hesitantly opened it. Then my phone suddenly hits the floor. I pick it up once again to make sure I was looking at the message right. It was a picture of me sleeping while Jayson was standing over me watching as I slept. I quickly got angry and sent a quick reply of “who is this and how did you get my number?”
I was so shaken up that I stayed home from school, I couldn’t eat or drink. I was confused by the message and couldn’t understand how they got there. I just tried to convince myself that I was being punked.
At dinner my mom asked everyone as she did every night. “How was your day today?” Then she looked at me and asked “are you feeling any better?” I responded with a short yah a little bit. Then my little sister Megan responded with her story of how the teacher told them that a little boy in their school has passed away. Mom asked her who it was. She told us she wasn’t sure of who he was just that she heard his name was Jayson and he died of heart complications four days ago. I suddenly dropped everything grabbed my phone and ran upstairs.
Mom ran up after me asking me what was wrong and if I was ok. I ignored her because I didn’t want to talk about it, and slammed my door. I quickly pulled out my phone to look at the picture and ask myself how am I getting these pictures? What is going on? Did he really die? I keep replaying things in my mind, and can’t pull my eyes away from the picture on my phone.
My mom knocks on my door then comes in and sits on my bed. She asks me “are you ok?” “What was that all about?” and “why are you freaking out?” In a stern voice she tells me I better explain myself now!
So I sat up and began telling her all about Jayson. Remember when Emma and I went to the park? We ran into this boy crying on the sidewalk and he told us how he needed a new heart and his family couldn’t afford to pay for his transplant. She quickly responds with “Ok, now I see why you freaked out and got so upset.” I tell her no, “I got upset because the day in the park he asked me if I could get him a new heart. I told him there wasn’t anything I could do and now he’s dead. Dead at 7 years old!!” “It’s my entire fault! He is dead because of me!”  She grabbed me and held me tight as she explained it wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t the cause of him dying. I soon felt relief and knew it was impossible for me to be the cause of his death.
When I woke up the next morning feeling so good about myself, I checked my phone and once again the unknown number was back on my phone. I hesitantly opened the message, it said “it was you and now you’re going to get it!” I started crying and asking myself “why, who, what!” I made myself go to school that day; I needed to talk to Emma about it. I needed to tell her all what was going on. That morning I arrive at school and ask Sara where Emma is.  Sara tells me how she has been trying to get ahold of Emma all morning and hasn’t had any luck. She also said  “ she has no idea where she is.”  I try calling her and much to my surprise nothing, no answer! I ask Sara if she wants to ride over to her house at lunch. Sara says she can’t she has to take a history exam.  Lunch time comes and I take off to go see why Emma isn’t at school today.
I arrive at Emma’s and notice the car is in the driveway. I make my way to the door and knock. No one answers the door. I try the door knob and it is unlocked so I push the door open and holler her name throughout the house. There was still no response and silence making its way through the house. I proceed to make my way up to her room. I knock on the door, and still complete silence. I crack open the door and see Emma lying on her bed. I walk over and look down and notice her face is blue and she is cold to the touch. I quickly roll her over, to see if she needed help. It was too late, Emma was already dead. I started crying and freaking out as I wait for the ambulance to arrive. I notice her phone had a message and it was from the same unknown number. It said “she couldn’t save me and neither could you!” The ambulance arrived and I shoved her phone into my pocket. After they took her, I slowly walked home wondering how this could happen to my best friend.
The next day both phones received the same message. “If you can’t get me what I want, then your next!”  I finally figured out what I thought he wanted or needed. I ran downstairs told my mom I was going to school, but instead I went to the hospital.
When I arrived at the hospital I made my way to the Department for transplants. I grabbed a heart in a jar that was sitting on a table in the back of the room. As I was running out, people were running after me trying to grab me and the heart I took from the table. I couldn’t give up, I needed to run. I had to do this for Jayson, he needs this. He is counting on me.
I arrived at the cemetery where I hunted for his grave. I kneeled down by Jayson’s grave and whispered “I am sorry, I know I am too late I hope you can forgive me.”  I never thought this was so important to you until you sent me those messages. I sat there for a minutes before slowly returning to my car.  I couldn’t go home yet so I went to the park. The same park where I met Jayson. I couldn’t have my mother knowing I didn’t go to school.
I stayed home from school for a few days, grieving over the loss of my best friend and my friend Jayson. I didn’t receive any more messages, but was weary of the fact that I basically killed two people.  Once I finally thought my life was back to normal, I received another message. It said “You really think I could forgive you after this? I am not done with you.”