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Murders at Midnight
Detective Jones walked through an alleyway and discovered the only piece of evidence, known to him, to this ruthless crime. The evidence was two blood stained sheets with brutally beaten, deceased corpses rolled up.
In a diner, Paula Bernard, a twenty-three year old woman, 5’8”, one-hundred and thirty-two pounds, long blonde hair with blue eyes, was sitting in a booth, studying for her college exams. As time passed, Paula glanced up to catch the eyes of a handsome young man walking through the door of the diner. His name was Jeffrey Mills. He was about 6’2”, dark brown hair, and tan, with green eyes. She knew of him from around the campus but has never really associated with him. Jeffrey was a good student with a steady job. He seemed to know what he wanted and found something new when their eyes met that day. After that day, they became inseparable. They continued dating for about two years, unexpectedly, Jeffrey proposed to Paula. They became happily married and moved into a big house together to start a new part of life. They both had good paying jobs and communicated with one another very well.
Paula came home from work one day to find Jeffrey drugged out on the porch. She had no idea that in the past year, Jeffrey had become addicted to drugs. He explained that he was stressed and he planned on quitting. He told Paula that the whole ordeal about drugs was a one time thing. The look in his eyes made his word, to Paula, very sincere. As a year slowly dragged on, she realized Jeffrey was acting differently. Paula really didn’t expect anything because she trusted Jeffrey. She didn’t want to confront him about it because she thought he might feel as though she didn’t trust him. A few months later, Paula came home and told Jeffrey that she was being laid off from work. Jeffrey insisted that he had everything under control. Because she loved and trusted him, she believed in him and his word.
Without knowing the many secrets Jeffrey really had, Paula was unaware that Jeffrey never quit doing drugs. Not only that, but she was also unaware of the fact that he had lost his job and went to a loan shark, named Leonardo Gilbert, to borrow a large sum of cash because he spent all of their money on the drugs. As months went by and bills came but were never paid, Paula became more and more worried about everything, especially Jeffrey. Jeffrey was never home anymore and when he was, he never paid any attention to her. He wouldn’t say a word to her. She didn’t want to fight or argue because she loved him, so she kept all of her worries to herself. One day, Paula asked Jeffrey for some money to go out and buy some groceries. For once, he had cash to give to her. As she was shopping in the store, she noticed a man, who was dressed in a nice suit, following her around. Paula became quite nervous and began rushing through the store. After she paid for all the groceries, she rushed to her car and drove home in a panic. As Paula pulled into her driveway, she felt that something was wrong. She rushed out of her car, running to her front door, that was wide open, to find Jeffrey lying on the floor nearly beaten to death.
While Jeffrey was lying in a hospital bed, Paula decided that it was finally time to confront him about everything. She asked him about the bills not being paid, the man following her at the store, him being beaten, and if he was seriously done with drugs. Not only did he confess to the things Paula asked him about, but he told her about him losing his job far before she lost hers’ and about borrowing a large sum of cash from a loan shark. A few days later, Jeffrey was released from the hospital. Paula decided to take him out for dinner. As they were eating their dinner, Jeffrey continuously apologized for lying to Paula and not telling her what was really going on. He told her that he’d change is ways for her. If she could just forgive him, everything would be different. They agreed that in order for things to change, they would need to move out of town and start over. While walking to their vehicle, a strange black car rolled up in front of them. A man holding a pistol stepped out of the car, as if he were on a mission. It took Jeffrey a minute to realize that the man was Leonardo Gilbert. Leonardo was a tall, dark, well dressed man. Not only was Leonardo a loan shark, but he was also a mobster, the leader of the mob at that.
Being forced, at gunpoint, into an alleyway next to the diner, Jeffrey begged Leonardo and his men to let Paula go. He kept insisting that she had nothing to do with any of their issues, in which she didn’t. Leonardo told Jeffrey that Paula seemed worth more to him than any amount of money. Because Jeffrey didn’t pay Leonardo in time, Leonardo told Jeffrey that they were going to take away something worth more than anything to him: which led to Paula. Some of Leonardo’s men held Jeffrey, as the others beat Paula, nearly killing her. After Paula was beaten to a pulp, Leonardo demanded his men to hang her as Jeffrey watched. After she was hung, Leonard looked Jeffrey in the eye and told him that they had a deal and two months had already passed by without any cash being received. Leonardo’s men beat and killed Jeffrey. When they were finished with him, they made the scene look like Jeffrey and Paula were beaten, mugged, and murdered.
About one week later, a man wearing a trench coat with a black hat and glasses walked into the diner. Detective Jones was his name. He was called due to an odor that was starting to linger through the air in the alleyway behind the diner. Jones, not really knowing what to expect, decided to scope it out. To his surprise, he discovered the bodies of Paula and Jeffrey Mills. When Detective Jones found these bodies, he called the FBI to file an investigation. The bodies were the only major piece of evidence; the case went cold until a few months later, due to lack of evidence. As they studied the sheets, they discovered a bloody fingerprint, which did not match Jeffrey or Paula’s. Soon after the discovery of the fingerprint, the evidence led to Leonardo Gilbert. After a few months of interrogation, Leonardo confessed to the murders of Jeffrey and Paula Mills. Not only did he confess to these murders, but he confessed to a string of unsolved murders. After the confession, Leonardo was convicted of the murders of Jeffrey and Paula Mills. He was tired for all of the other murders and proven guilty.
Jeffrey and Paula Mills were murdered on July 27th, 1946. Gilbert was convicted. Not only were they murdered and found behind this diner, but this diner was where they first met. That diner was the place that their eyes met and they fell in love. It was love at first sight. This murder was solved, but because of this, another incident occurred. Just after the conviction of Leonardo Gilbert, Detective Jones mysteriously died of a heart attack.
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This article has 3 comments.
So, I think that the story itself is good and could be very interesting if wrote well. Try adding some more intensity, don't just list things, add details, make it an actual story, not just a recollection of straight foward fact. If you do want to keep it this way, add more to the end, I didn't understand where you wanted to go with it. Alright two people died, a guy convicted and the detective died... so what? Why? How? Etc. Keep writing and working on this piece!
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The roses are wilted<br /> The violets are dead<br /> The demons run circles<br /> Round and round inside my head