Everything can change in a blink. Life could be so calm, drifting by without a smidge of darkness. Then suddenly you could be drowning. Barely breathing under a blanket of shadow and misery, woven into sinister thread.

This I learned the hard way.

I used to have it all. God, how unbelievably oblivious I was back then. Floating about everyday, a smile pasted on my face. Finally I had gotten a new job, new friends and a new apartment. Everything was all that I could ask for. Then, blink. It happened. My screams still vivid, haunting my dreams like a dark presence…

Walking home from work I felt… content. Life is finally going my way. I had a skip in my step as I walked along the cold streets in Chicago. Snowflakes dawdled in the air, taking their time to slowly drift to the ground. Blink. The air around me is charged in a way I don’t understand. Snowflakes, fluttering madly around me, seeming to be warning me of a danger I cannot see. A looming shadow stretches before me, my body trembles as I force my eyes upwards. What is he…? Blink. I find myself on the ground. My brother is on top of me. Heaving my body across the ice into the nightmarish alley I walk by every night. I’m so confused. Why is he touching me? Can’t he hear me saying no? Blink. Nobody is hearing my screams. God why won’t anyone help me? All my clothes are gone. I can feel the ice, the cold burning into my back. His nails carving half-moons into my cheek as he tries to suppress my shattering shrieks. I feel his hand move slowly down his body and the daunting roar of his zipper. A new desperation surges from within me, brimming to the surface. Blink. As I claw and scratch I know it’s in vain. I can feel my innocence torn apart by this monster I once called a brother. His repulsive touch injecting desolation into my system. No happiness left. Blink. I retreated into my mind. Like a child, I cowered in the corner of my head, scared of the savage destruction of my body, life and purity. He left me in the snow. Exposed and vulnerable. Used and beaten. After lying there for a while I picked myself up. Gathered the tatters of my clothing and hauled my battered body home. I knew what I had to do to end this… Blink.

My hands wrap around his neck. Tightening, squeezing as dark bruise begin to blossom around his throat. His door hangs from it’s hinges, broken like he will soon be. Finally I can end this. His eyes, a spark that taunts me. The wick of a candle finally burning out in a blink. His choking, ragged breathing is the sweetest music to my ears. Yet…I feel nothing. As his body finally goes still, I feel empty. I let his body slump to floor and stare in disgust at the thing that used to be my brother. The sounds of sirens pierce my ears, creating a whirlwind of pain within my skull.

Police charge into the house, shouting, screaming at me to put my murderous hands in the air. They force me to the ground, dragging my hands behind my back. The cold, harsh click of the cuffs is magical to me. All around me chaos is erupting, shrieks of horror, the bone-chilling barks of the commander directing his men to arrest my demonic shell of being. And yet a smile bursts on my face. I’m free from my torment. I’m free from my pain. I’m free from my sin.

Blink.

The clang of bars and metal scraping against metal grazes my eardrums. None of them look at me. No one wants to see the girl who killed her own brother. If only…they knew.

Blink.

Concrete caresses my back as I’m dragged to limbo. To be judged for my evil crimes…

Blink.

My family stares at me through the glass, as I’m strapped down to this table of doom. I’m being put to death. Needles lance through my skin as the toxins seep into my body. Chemicals clutch my heart in their deadly embrace. A look into my father’s eyes fills me with despair. My fault. It’s all my fault. That pain on his face was my doing. The betrayal that pools in his eyes is All. My. Fault.
Blink.

My heart no longer beats. My eyes roll towards the ceiling. The last thing I see is the bleached white ceiling. Funny, the dancing snowflakes I first thought were so beautiful, a good omen are the same devastating colour of the forbidding walls of my deathbed.

Blink.

I’m dead. And yet, I’m not. It appears that I’m floating, rising towards some greater force that cleanses my spirit. Peace billows within me like a sheet brushed by wind.

I blink. A flutter of my lashes kissing my cheek. Free from everything. Blink.