Another Town | Teen Ink

Another Town

June 30, 2013
By CheyBookLover GOLD, Berwyn, Illinois
CheyBookLover GOLD, Berwyn, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Um................ Edgar Allan Poe&#039;s, &#039;I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. &#039;<br /> also, &#039;You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.&#039; ~ Ray Bradburry


The sun was burning on Seth’s back as he stood at the register of Crater Supermarket. It was only him and his best friend, Analise Prise, standing in the shop. No one ever went out in 90 degrees weather in Crilla, Ohio. The florescent lights buzzed softly above their heads; giving Analise a small headache. The sweat on her back was beginning to annoy her. She wore only a red tank top and white shorts. Seth stared at her in silence from across the counter. He noticed that her brown, chin length, wavy hair was beginning to stick to her face. Her blue eyes looked brighter than normal; almost aqua blue.

His own black hair was sticking to his forehead and his brown eyes looked darker than normal. He hated summer more than any other season. The heat kept customers from coming to the supermarket. He was forced to spend five hours a day standing in the stupid store. The air conditioning had broken the day before and the only thing keeping him entertained was Analise.

“What are you up to tonight?” He asked her. Analise thought about this for a moment and simply shrugged. She was always a quiet person and Seth seemed to admire this about her. There was never a moment when she actually annoyed anyone in town. Crilla, Ohio was a small town where just about everyone knew each other. All the teenagers went to school together, their parents went to school together, and their grandparents went to school together. There were only about 197 people who lived in town and a majority of them were teens or children. The only supermarket in the entire town was this single one, but there never seemed to be many customers.

“Do you want to hang out at my house?” Seth asks with a smile. They both usually spent most of the time at each other’s house.

“I think that would be fine. My parents are visiting my grandma in Illinois, so I don’t think they would mind.” Her voice remains quiet and she is staring out the window. Her looks matched her almost perfectly. Her blue eyes and curly, brown hair made her look sweeter than the other girls in town. Her small frame also played a huge part in this angelic appearance. She was about 5’2 with a flat chest and small waist. Her skin was tan and her freckles were sprinkled on the bridge of her nose.

She began to roam around the aisles, looking for nothing in particular. Seth couldn’t help but smile as he watched her attempt to reach the high shelves. She turned her head to the side and saw him glancing at her. She felt embarrassed as his brown eyes moved up and down her small body. She knew he was silently noting the fact that she is one of the shortest sixteen year olds in town. She was jealous of his amazing height; almost 6’3. His black hair made his hazel eyes seem darker and she actually missed his blonde hair. Last summer he had attempted to self lighten his hair and managed to turn it bright blonde. She continued to make fun of him every moment she got, but she secretly liked it. His eyes looked brighter with the light hair and his skin seemed paler; but in a good way.

Seth seemed to notice that she caught him staring and looked down in humiliation. “Sorry Ana, I didn’t mean to stare. I was just wondering if you would like any help reaching anything.”

“Oh, no thank you, I was just looking. Do you want a drink or anything?” She asked as she made her way toward the freezer aisle.

“No thank you.” He turned away from her and looked out the window. There was a car pulling up in the parking lot. It was a 1996 midnight blue mustang that he didn’t recognize. A boy stepped out of the car and seemed to be lost for a moment. His blond hair hung in his eyes, but from what he could see, they were a bright green that shone in the summer light. His skin was unusually pale and he wore a black t-shirt and jeans. He was approaching the store with a bit of odd speed; almost looking as if he were gliding on this air.

Analise was just rounding the corner of aisle one as the bell rang over the door. The stranger approached the counter and placed a ten on the counter. “Do you think I would have change for this?” He looked up and met Analise’s questioning gaze. A smile played on the edge of his lips and he flipped his hair out of his eyes. “Hi there, my name is Samael. But you can call me Sam.” He said in a deep, seductive voice. Analise nodded her head and bit her lip.

“Sorry, she doesn’t talk a lot.” Seth chimed in as he handed Sam the money. Sam kept his eyes on Analise. She took a step closer to the counter and avoided the stranger’s eyes. “Are you just passing by? This is a pretty small town, so a new person is a little strange for us.”

“Oh no, I just moved here. I’m living in the house at the edge of town.” He explained in a detached voice.

Analise locked eyes with her best friend. The sun made her eyes seem bright and she looked a little lost. “I um . . . I didn’t know the Davidson family left. Did you, Seth?” She asked in a hesitant voice. Her voice was barely over a whisper. The sun was still burning into Seth’s back and he was perplexed as to how this guy could possibly be wearing a black t-shirt.

“No, I thought they were still there. Then again, they have been fighting a lot with the West family. Billy said they were having problems and someone was going to move eventually.” He replied. Sam seemed to have stopped listening and was staring outside; at the bright blue sky and vibrantly green grass. “Well, I’m Seth Waters and this is Analise Prise. If you need any help around time, just let us know.”

The boy slowly nodded his head and turned to leave. The bell chimed over the door as he left and the two best friends turned to one another. “I guess that’s kind of cool. It will probably be interesting now that there is someone new in town. Maybe we should visit him tomorrow and give him a welcoming gift.” Analise suggested with a shy smile. Seth couldn’t help but smile too. She really was a sweet girl, but he couldn’t help but feel a little strange about this whole thing. There was something off about that guy. He wasn’t sure if it was the way he was staring at Ana, or if it was that mischievous look in his eyes.

“Yea, I guess that would be fine. We could buy him something from the bakery. What do you think we should get him?”

“How about we get him a muffin basket?” Seth couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. She seemed so naïve, even when they were kids. He remembered when they were seven and spent most of their time catching bugs in the forest. The other kids used to call her a boy and make fun of her all the time, but she just laughed and thought it was a joke. She didn’t seem to quite understand fully how much people were making fun of her. He had felt bad and wanted to help her. He made sure that no one messed with her, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to protect her forever.

They stayed in the shop for another few hours before heading over to the Waters’ household. The house was silent when they entered. Seth’s parents, Christopher and Lisa, were both doctors. His mother worked in the only morgue in town and his father was a psychologist. They were usually always busy with work and spent most of their days at the hospital. Seth was used to it by now. He would say goodbye to them in the morning, head to school or work, come home to cook dinner, and greet them before going to bed. He sometimes found a few minutes to talk to them during the day, but he didn’t mind. Christopher and Lisa were very liberal and lenient when it came to rules.

Seth and Analise made their way up to his room. They threw the shoes off to the side and sat on his bed. It had been a few days since Analise was there, but nothing ever seemed to change. The same clothes were thrown to the far left corner, the books were in the same spot; untouched, and his trash was still overflowing with chip bags and soda cans. Seth always kept to the junk food, but he never seemed to gain any weight. Analise was always jealous of his fast metabolism and wished she could eat whatever she wanted without any worry.

“So are you sleeping in here, on the air mattress, or in the guest room?” Seth asked; pulling Analise out of her lost thoughts. She looked up at him for a long moment and felt dizzy for some reason. “Are you okay? You look tired.”

“I think so. I’m just really dizzy. Is it okay if I lay down in the guest room?” She asked. Her voice was barely over a whisper. She didn’t wait for a response. Seth watched as she walked out of the room. He was prepared to follow her- to make sure she didn’t pass out in the hall- but a sudden exhaustion engulfed him. The room went black.

There was a little tapping at his door and Seth had to literally pull himself out of bed. His feet felt like they weighed a ton. Before he could reach the door, it flew open and pieces of wood flew everywhere. Sam was standing before him with Analise in his arms. She was bleeding from the top of her scalp to the hollow of her neck. Seth jumped toward them and tried to attack the mysterious boy. In the blink of an eye he was gone and Seth lay on top of Analise’s corpse. He stumbled back in fear and felt a pang in his stomach.

He felt the need to vomit and couldn’t take his eyes off of his best friend’s lifeless face. “Watch her closely. You may just end up like her.” Sam’s voice flooded in his thoughts. Analise’s body began to fidget and it sprang up to its feet. Her eyes were pitch-black and she threw her head back. Her mouth opened wide and a shrieking sound began to escape. The glass around them shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

Seth’s eyes flew open and he could still hear the screaming. He slowly sat up in his bed and found himself drenched in sweat. It was already midnight, but he felt wide awake. The screaming continued and he instantly thought of Analise. He ran out of his room and to the guest room at the end of the hall. He threw the door open and found her staring out the window. She turned when she heard him enter and had a look of both fear and confusion. He slowly approached her and looked to see what she was watching. He found the source of the screaming.

The local thrift store manager, Ivan Lewis, was standing in the middle of the street with his head thrown back and was yelling at the top of his lungs. Seth slowly opened the window and Mr. Lewis’s voice filled the town. He had moved to town a few years before from somewhere in Romania. His English was still choppy, but it was easy to understand what he was saying.

“God has forgot us! We be left with the diavols are here with us. The demons eat us in our sleep world. Why, dear God have you ignored us! You all are left for dead. I cannot take this evil in my mind! You all think it is nothing, but I’m not alone in this! I cry with pain in the heart.” Ivan screamed. A crowd is formed around him now and Seth and Analise were watching intensely. Seth noticed Ivan pull something out of his coat pocket. It was a gun. He held it up in the air and let off one shot. Shrieks filled the streets and Analise pulled closer to her friend. “I will not have them get my soul. ‘Doamne, Isus, ai mil? de sufletul meu.’”

“Lord, Jesus, have mercy on my soul.” Analise translated. She looked as though she was trapped in a trance. Seth knew she didn’t know any Romanian. He turned back to the scene on the street. Ivan had the gun pointed at his head and pulled the trigger with no hesitation. Analise screamed and put her face in Seth’s shirt. She was crying and Seth even had to look away from the death. The image of Sam flashed in his mind and he cringed in fear. Something wasn’t right and it had something to do with the stranger.


Seth sat in the shop once again. It wasn’t as hot as the other day, but he could still feel sweat forming on his back. Analise had promised to stop by in around noon. She had planned to stop by the bakery and pick up the welcome basket. It was only eleven-fifty, and there had been no business at all that day. The clock was ticking away and the florescent lights flickered over his head. He walked to the back of the store to check the supplies. The bell chimed over the door and he stuck his head around the corner of the aisle. A police officer was standing at the counter with a hard look on his face.

He quickly recognized the officer and greeted him with a warm smile. “Hi there Officer Grant, what can I do for you?” The William Grant let out a sigh and leaned against the counter. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture. He held it up so Seth could see it.

“Have you seen this girl?” Seth studied the picture. It looked as though it was taken from a security camera outside the town bank. The girl in the image was a teenager, maybe sixteen, with straight, edgy red hair with hints of blonde in it. Her eyes were a beautiful gold that made Seth shudder from their intensity. She didn’t look familiar to him, but he felt drawn to the image for some reason. “Seth?” Officer Grant said his name in a concerned voice. Seth slowly looked up and shook his head a little; trying to clear it.

“Oh, sorry, I’ve never seen her before. What’s going on?” He asked in confusion. A look of exhaustion crosses William’s face.

“She was said to have been found talking to everyone who committed suicide yesterday.” He explains in a monotone. Seth’s face showed his confusion and William felt the need to explain. “I know that you probably think Ivan was the only one to commit suicide yesterday, but that’s not true. This morning we found thirty dead bodies in the St. Lawrence River. It appears they all drowned themselves. There was a note found attached to a tree that was signed by everyone. You didn’t know that?” Seth shook his head and a feeling of sickness filled him.

The bell chimed again and Analise walked in. She waved a sweet ‘hello’ to Officer Grant. She was holding a basket of muffins. She placed it on the counter. William nodded his head towards her before leaving the shop. “Did you hear about the thirty people found dead?”

“Yea, Officer Grant just told me about it. Apparently they are looking for a mystery girl who was said to have talked to the victims before they died.” He informed her. She nodded slowly and asked him if he would like to walk with her to drop off the welcome basket. He agreed to go with her now. He closed the store; seeing as how no one would be coming in due to the deaths, and they started their walk. It didn’t take long for them to reach the edge of town. The house that Sam said to live in was a very famous house in Crilla, Ohio. The house was said to be haunted by the spirits of an entire occult.

“Do you think Sam and his family will like it? I really hope they do.”Analise murmured. Her hands were shaking a little as she held the basket. They were just approaching the door and she could feel her knees getting weak. Seth lightly tapped on the door. It took a few minutes for the door to finally open and Seth was shocked at who he saw.

Standing before him was the girl from the picture Officer Grant showed him. In the bright summer sun she looked even paler and stunning. Seth’s mouth felt dry and his palms were sweaty. “Can I help you? The girl asked in a smooth, seductive voice. She waited for a reply, but Seth simply stood there; staring.

“Um, is Sam here?” Analise finally asked. Her voice was so quiet that she worried the girl hadn’t heard her. She had heard and stepped aside so that they could enter. They stood in a completely empty living room. The only thing in the room was a Persian rug that covered a majority of the floor. The girl excused herself and ran up the stairs. Seth and Analise could hear hushed whispers from the top of the staircase. There was an eerie feeling that surrounded the room. He quickly looked around and spotted a knife in the corner. He automatically tensed up. The strange girl and Sam entered the room and he felt himself relax at the sight of the girl.

“Hi, my name is Kea. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself before.” She says with a half smile.

“I’m Seth, and this is Analise. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Seth stuttered. He felt a little embarrassed and confused. He was usually a Casanova around girls. She smiled at him and kept her eyes on him.

“What can I do for you?” Sam asked. His gaze rested on Analise’s small face. She felt herself blushing wildly. There was something about his eyes that made her shiver. Analise’s hands were shaking as she held out the basket for him. He smiled and took it in his hands; touching her hands lightly. “Wow, thanks. Is this a welcome gift?”

“Um, yea it is.” She said hesitantly. She bit her lip and took a small step back. Seth was still staring at Kea and she had taken his hand in her hand.

“Do you think we could talk for a little bit?” She asked him in a seductive voice. He numbly nodded his head and they went off into another room. They were in what was meant to be the kitchen, but it was also empty. The only thing in there was a stove and table. She leaned against the table and watched him closely. “So what is with you and that girl out there? Are you two dating or something?”

“Oh, no we’re just friends.” He said in a rush. His heart was pounding and the felt nerves for some reason. Kea smiled at him and took a step closer to him. She placed her right hand on his chest and had her left hand behind her back. Her eyes looked darker than Seth thought they were, but he didn’t want to focus on her eyes. Instead, he looked at her lips and watched as they came closer to his. He felt her lips lightly press against his and a feeling of craving washed over him. She pulled away and whispered something into his ear. He didn’t quiet remember what it was, but he only remembered agreeing to whatever it was.

Analise was standing in the living room with Sam still. His eyes remained on her and she began feeling a little uncomfortable. “Do you think you can trust Seth?” Sam asked out of nowhere. She looked up at him in confusion and he sat on the floor. She slowly sat down next to him without even thinking about it. “I just mean that there is something about him that you don’t know. The way he was looking at Kea was the way that many other guys have stared at her. The guys who usually like her aren’t the good kind of people. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Why? You barely know me, and you don’t know Seth at all.” She said. There was an edge in her voice that she wasn’t used to. She gave him an apologetic look and he seemed to understand. “I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I just don’t like people saying bad things about Seth. He’s been the only one to ever try to help me. He’s always there for me.” She explained in a quiet voice. He took her hand and brought them both up to their feet. Seth and Kea were entering just then and they all stared at each other in silence. Seth slowly walked up to Analise.

“I think we should get going right now.” His voice was deeper than usual. He took her hand and began pulling her toward the door. She pulled her hand away from him and turned to Sam and Kea.

“It was nice to meet you, Kea, and it was nice to see you again, Sam.” She said and shook their hands. When she shook Sam’s hand he pressed something cold into it.

He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “This is just in case anything happens with Seth.” She takes a step back and looks at the object in her hand. It was a small switchblade. There were strange symbols etched into the handle. She was about to hand it back to him, but instead she just placed it in her pocket. She had a strange feeling that she would eventually need it.

The walk home was silent. Seth kept his eyes on the ground and Analise’s hands were shaking. The thought of having a knife in her pocket scared her. She turned to look at him and noticed that he had something in his hand that was glistening in the sun. The streets were empty and a shiver ran through her. “Seth, are you okay?” She asked a bit cautiously. He turned to her sharply and took a step forward.

“I don’t think you should stay around me. You don’t deserve to stay. Do you know what your name means?” He asked out of nowhere. He looked up at her and she saw that his eyes were pitch-black. She stumbled back and tripped over an abandoned soda bottle. “It means the oath of God!” He yelled and raised his hand in the head. There was a knife gleaming in it and she let out a scream. Panic ran through her and her first instinct was to run.

She ran through the empty streets, trying to find a safe place. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn’t care. She could hear the tapping of Seth’s footsteps behind her.

An ancient looking building loomed before her; the church. She pushed against the wooden, double-doors and was relieved to find them unlocked. The interior of the church was dim; candle light being the only source of illumination. She stared up at the stain glass windows, each one depicting a Saint. She made her way down the aisle, grazing the wooden pews as she made her way. Her eyes were locked on one thing and one thing only; the cross above the alter.

“My child, what brings you here?” Analise jumped at the sound of the man’s voice. She spun on her heels and stared at Father Williams. A smirk formed on her face.

“Nothing Father, I just needed a quiet place to think.” She lied. Father Williams approached her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Father, do you think you can help me? I am, um, I’m writing a new book and I was wondering, what would it take to kill a demon…” Her voice trailed off as the words left her mouth. She could tell how crazy she sounded.

The father paused for a moment and seemed to be thinking about the question. “I would say, try to use the word of the Lord against them. Nothing is stronger than a prayer.” Analise felt herself frowning a little and sighed. She opened her mouth to respond, but a sudden sound behind them. The door blew open to the church, wood splitting out towards them.

Seth stood in the doorway and smiled at Analise, holding the knife in his hand still. He leaped towards them, covering the distance in a single jump. Analise ran towards the alter and watched as Seth grabbed the priest by the neck and threw him towards her. She jumped to the right. Father Williams crashed into the alter; knocking over some candles. He lay on the ground, unconscious no doubt, and bled out from the side of his head. Seth came up to him, grabbed his head, and slit his throat. Analise let out a scream. The world around her began to fade into darkness.

Seth slowly picked up her unconscious body in his arms. Kea’s voice filled his mind. ‘Bring Analise her, alive or dead. We need her no matter what.’ Seth felt as though he was in a trance and had no control over his actions. He made his way back to Sam’s house and looked down at Analise. Her face looked relaxed and she seemed younger than normal. Her brown hair framed her face beautifully and he wanted to brush it behind her ear. He reached the door quickly and Kea opened it before he even knocked.

“Good, you did as I asked.” She said with a smile and guided him to the living room. The Persian rug was rolled up to the side and Seth saw the two circles drawn in chalk. One was inside the other and there were strange runes between the circles. Samael was sitting in the center of the room with a book in his lap. He slowly stood up and approached them. His eyes locked onto Analise and a look of annoyance crossed his face.

“Why is she unconscious, but not him?” He asked Kea in a stern voice. She grinned at him but remained silent. They stared at each other for a long moment before he turned back to the book. Analise began to awaken just then and he twisted around quickly. She looked up at him and for an instant she looked confused, but that was replaced by pure fear. “Please don’t fear Analise, you can trust me.” He placed his hand on her cheek and stared into her eyes.

His eyes were like black holes that bore into her eyes. She inched away in fear but then remembered that Seth was the one holding her. She pushed off of him and felt someone’s hand grab her by the arm. She looked up and noticed Sam pulling her to her feet. “Wh-what do you all want with me?”She asked in complete fear. She yanked her arm away from him but his grip only tightened. She winced a little and he slowly lightened his grasp.

“It’s not just you dear Analise. We also need him.” Kea said and pointed at Seth. He looked up with a glassy look in his eyes. Analise knew that something was wrong with him, but she had no idea what it could have been. “We have lived in these bodies for too long, and we need you two.”

A thought from Sunday school flashed in Analise’s mind and she gasped with surprise. “Kea is another name for the demon, Lilith. You’re the demon that was said to have been Adam’s first wife. And you’re Samael, the demon who seduced Eve.” She said in shock. They both slowly grinned.

“I’m a little surprised that it took you this long to get it. You are just as naïve as you look.” Kea said with a scuff. She grabbed Analise by that arm and threw her into the center of the circle. “Seth, take care of her.” She demanded and handed him a knife. Analise felt a knot forming her stomach and she scrambled up to her feet. She automatically remembered about the switch blade in her pocket. She quickly pulled it out and stared at the blade for a long moment. She didn’t really believe that Seth would kill him, but the look in his eyes scared her.

Seth lunged at her out of nowhere and knocked them both to the ground. They rolled a few times before Seth managed to get on top of her and hold her down with one hand and place a knife at her throat. She kneed him in the balls and he fell to the ground on his back. He was lying on the ground and clutched his crotch. She was about to run away, but she felt her body turning toward him against her own will. She had no control over her body as she pointed the edge of the blade at his throat. Without a moment of hesitation, she dragged the blade to the left and slit his throat.

The blood gushed everywhere and he screamed out as his breaths became short and shallow. Tears were streaming down her face and she collapsed to her knees beside him. Without a thought in her mind she began to pray for him. Behind her, she could hear the two demons chanting in Latin. “Nos vitualamen illa animus pro victus. Permissum cruor repleo nos quod nutritor nos. Tribuo nos suum animus pro ourselves.”

“Our father, who art in heaven,” Analise began and noticed that the chanting had stopped. She looked up and noticed them staring at her in anger. She smiled inwardly and opened her mouth. “How will be thy name, thy kingdom come,” She continued the prayed and watched as they slowly backed away. She grinned and brought herself to her feet. She began the Hail Mary and started to back out of the circle. She was at the very edge of the circle and felt a tugging at her shirt. She pulled against the pressure and had one step out of the circle already.

She felt herself be picked up into the air and thrown onto the floor at the center of the circle. “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?” Samael asked from above her.

Kea pulled out a knife and smiled at Analise. “You stupid girl, why would we ever let you get away with something so easy. You must be as stupid as I thought you were. I don’t get why you would be one of the chosen ones. Perform a miracle, my ass.” She complained. She was murmuring to herself. She plunged the knife into Analise’s chest and she screamed loudly. The blood poured onto the ground and Samael and Kea finished their ritual.


“I don’t like these new bodies.” Kea complained as she stared at herself in the mirror. Analise’s curly brown hair didn’t seem to fit her all too well. She turned to Samael and saw that he was quite fine with his handsome face. “Why did we have to kill this ugly girl instead of the other teens?”

“You know why. They were chosen by Him. They were going to defeat us at some point. Se we just beat them to the punch. I don’t get what your problem is, you look adorable and it will be easier for adults to trust you.” Samael told her in a matter-of-fact tone. She frowned at him and took his hand. They began walking down the desolate street; stepping over the occasional dead body. There was fire everywhere and almost every building was destroyed.

“I think this was the easiest town to destroy, what do you think?”

“I honestly liked it a little.” He said. His tone was nonchalant and Kea felt proud of both of them. “So, where to next?”


The author's comments:
This was originally a short story that I had written for a contest against one of my friends. I decided to ass to it and share it with the world. Hopefully if you guys like it, I will add more and make a novel out of it.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jul. 4 2013 at 7:08 pm
CheyBookLover GOLD, Berwyn, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Um................ Edgar Allan Poe&#039;s, &#039;I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. &#039;<br /> also, &#039;You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.&#039; ~ Ray Bradburry

Thank you so much. I agree about the ending but I really didn't want a happy ending and I also didn't want a "apocalyptic" ending. But thank you so much for your comment.

on Jul. 4 2013 at 1:50 am
Quartermaster PLATINUM, Los Angeles, California
21 articles 8 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;They tell us sir that we are weak. Unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when will we be stronger?&quot;

Your choice of a nostaligic setting, the classic small town, and your realistic and down to earth (sweating, boy liking cute girl) descriptions of your characters allowed me relate to them, and read on to see what happens to them. I lke how you transitioned from the neutral realistic tone in the first half to the dark supernatural tone by suggesting a love triangle with Sam, Seth, and Analise. This causes tension and suspense which helped me bridge the gap from a feel good romance to a horror story. Even though the first suicide was shocking, I kept reading because I had been warned something bad would happen. I ddin't like the ending though. I've heard the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" story one to many times. Your story deserves a more creative ending.