Have you ever watched a creature die?

I don’t mean on TV; I mean really watched.

Maybe you’ve strangled a cat, or slowly pierced through it’s chest with a pair of scissors, watching as the blade finally breaks the skin, as blood begins to pour out of the new perforation.

Gorgeous, isn’t it?

Then the thing lets out a horrid screech, but you ignore it because you know that soon - very soon - that noise will cease, and you won’t have to listen to it anymore. Besides, the result is worth having to hear that. The blade punctures the heart, and out flows more blood, staining your jeans as it floods the ground before you, but that doesn’t matter. That’s what bleach is for, right?

You push the scissors in even farther, more blood spurts out, and - voila! - finally, the part you’ve been waiting for.

Watching the eyes. Those eyes, before, were so full of fear and pain. Now, as the colour and light begins to fade away, so does the pain, and the fear. And that awful screeching noise.

Have you ever done that?

Isn’t it glorious?

But after doing this a few times over a span of a few days, I began to wonder: Could this get even better? Because, let’s be frank here - cats don’t really cut it. If you think about it, every animal is going to act the same, because they go by their instincts.

A person, on the other hand... They would have to react at least a little different, right? They would think, not go by instinct.

Or would they?

Would they still struggle aimlessly, just like a cat? Scream and holler?

Or would they think about their situation? Fight back, without just hurting themselves even further?

Would their eyes still dim and lose all that colour as their body begins to lose it’s soul?
That glorious moment - when the eyes fade - is probably the most beautiful moment I have ever experienced in my life. Because, really, when else do you ever get to see that happen? Not while that person is alive, that’s for sure. Even while it’s asleep, the eyes don’t change much. They still have that same blue or green or brown or hazel. Always.

Till death.

Till the soul forsakes the body and abandons it.

Then - only then - will one see the moment all that life in those eyes slip away to become nothing. The body becomes just an empty shell, that has been left for nothing, and no one can change that. It’s empty forever.

I’ve only seen this in cats, and dogs, and some other worthless little creatures. But never in a person.

So, I have decided. I simply must find out what happens when a person fades away.


***

I’m in a bookstore now, in the very back. My best friend is supposed to meet me here; that’s what she said on the phone, anyway. So I find a random book, not caring what it is, and sit in one of the not-so-comfortable chairs provided in the back by the large windows. I look outside for a moment, and see her - Maria - stepping out of a cab and into the fluttering snow.

She’s here.

Wonderful.

I get up and walk over to the front door of the place to meet her, and we smile, greet each other happily, all that stuff that best friends do.

Not much longer now.


We grab some coffees from the little cafe toward the back and sit down across from each other, talking about nonsense that I really don’t care about. How boring. But she seems entertained, so I let her continue with her yapping.

Aren’t I nice?

I might as well be nice to her now.



Eventually I talk Maria into coming over to my place, and we begin to walk toward my street, because she knows I don’t like cabs. Those drivers could be serial killers, for all I know. I’d rather not be brutally murdered, thank you.

Who on earth would want to die?

Anyway.

Along the usual route, I ask if we can stop in an alley, to catch my breath. She knows I have asthma and agrees, asking me if I’m alright in that fretting way she has when she’s worried about me. But asthma isn’t a problem. Even if I pretend that it is, taking deep breaths as I lean against a brick wall for support, my back to her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she says again, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe I should call someone... Yeah, I can call a cab or something. Oh wait, you hate cabs, don’t you...”

She starts muttering away about who knows what, pulling away from me to look through the contacts in her cell phone.

This is my chance, while she’s turned away.

Keeping up my facade, I find the scissors I’d hidden in my pocket earlier, and pull them out, smiling faintly at the way the sunlight glinted off the metal. And, not even a second later, Marie is on the snow-covered pavement, screaming as blood begins pooling beside her, pouring out of her side. Of course she’s frozen in shock now, staring up at me with wide, horror-filled eyes; why aren’t they fading yet?

Huh. Maybe I should’ve slit her throat instead.

But instead of moving, I just stand there, staring down at her calmly. Her pained shrieks were already being tuned out. The bloody scissors are still in my hand, and my fingers are itching to stab her again as they tighten around the metal.

I kneel down beside her - not on the bloody side, of course; that would just be a mess - and smile kindly at her. “Don’t worry! This is just for research.” And I shove the blades into her stomach, grimacing as she screeches again. So loud...


Finally, I start to grin. Yes! The moment I’ve been waiting for is so close!

I laugh as her will to stay alive weakens, her breathing becoming shallow.

And then...
It happens.

Those bright blue eyes slowly gradate into the colour of a dark thunderstorm cloud, a deep slate.

I laugh. How beautiful! It starts snowing again, and her skin is still warm enough to melt the tiny snowflakes. She won’t be warm for long. I feel the pulse - or lack thereof - in her wrist, noticing how cold she’s already becoming, and smile.

Sighing, I stand up, brushing the powdery snow off my jeans and tossing away the scissors after wiping off the blood and fingerprints.

I step out of the alleyway and start heading home, whistling a merry tune.

I’m done here. The experiment has gone perfectly.

And the result was simply stunning.