I moaned as I came into the kitchen and saw my report card on the table. I was dead. This wouldn’t be the first time I’d done poorly in school. I guess it’s too late to bury or burn it, I thought sarcastically. I’d have to bank that for next time.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a can of soda. “Oh gosh,” I jumped as I closed the door and saw my father’s face in mine.
“Brook, you got a F this semester. Again.”
I winced. “Only in PE,” I corrected, “and only because I don’t do sweating in front of other people.”
“Only in PE,” he repeated in an annoyed tone. “But you got a D in English, a D in math, and a D in history. If you’re going to avoid massive punishment, you’ll have to pick up your grades.”
“Why?” I whined. “It’s not like I’ll ever need to be a rocket scientist or anything,” I complained as I sat at our kitchen table and played with the report card.
“Rocket science is a science! We’re not even talking about science!”
“Okay, fine, Mr. Technical, then I won’t be a brain surgerist or a chemicalist or a biographist.”
He angrily sighed. Uh, oh. I knew that look. “Brook, if you don’t get an A on your next test, I’m going to take you off the X.”
There was no way on Earth that I could possibly survive without my superhuman gifts. I mean, not that I haven’t had to before, but it’s absolutely horrible. Each time I have to go without them, I feel somehow at a disadvantage. Sure, I’m no weaker than the average human, but I’m still not used to being so…normal.
My mom walked into the room on her new cell phone that we’d bought her for her birthday. “Of course. It’s not any trouble at all. Talk to you later, Susanna.” She hung up and I looked at her in dread.
Aunt Susanna never called to say hello unless it was a birthday or Christmas. There was always another favor she needed to ask from us. Naturally, my parents didn’t mind helping my father’s stepsister out when it meant inconveniencing us, but as far as I was concerned, her daughter’s sole purpose in life was to make me miserable.
We’d hated each other since we were little kids. She would always embarrass me in front of friends and crushes with baby photos and humiliating secrets that I didn’t know she knew. I honestly think that that girl has evil in her blood. She could very well try to take over the world someday.
“Susanna’s been called to a last minute meeting in Washington,” she began to explain, “so Phyllis will be staying with us for a little while.” What a surprise. “She should be here any minute, actually.”
“Can’t we let her stay somewhere else? Please?” I begged as I followed her into the livingroom. “Besides, she can’t stay here. There’s nowhere for her to sleep.”
“She’s going to stay in your room.”
My life flashed before my eyes. “No way!” I protested. “I’d die first!”
“Be nice!” Mom reprimanded, knowing full well the animosity that the two of us had for each other. “She’s your cousin.”
Not really, I thought. She’s not even really family. And she never will be.
My mom opened the door as soon as we heard a knock. “Phyllis, come in. It’s so good to have you.” As if. I’d rather be tied to a train track right now.
“Thank you,” she answered, sweet as she always was in front of my parents. “Peter,” she greeted as he and Kay walked in from the kitchen. Kay gave an awkward nod of hello. She turned to me a little coldly. “Brook.”
“Phyllis,” I replied with even more ice in my voice. “I’ll be downstairs studying,” I informed my parents as I snatched my backpack and headed to our basement den. I pulled a sheet over our time machine and sat on a small wooden bench that my dad had left down there for just about forever.



The urge to use my super hearing to spy on my family and our “guest” was too strong a temptation to resist. Phyllis laughed at something that Peter said and I gagged to myself.
“I’d offer you a soda, but I don’t think there are any more up here,” he told her. “I’d have to go downstairs and look.”
“Kay can go get them for us while we catch up,” she volunteered.
“Sure,” Kay awkwardly agreed, though I could tell that she had an immediate distaste for my unwanted relation.
Within a few seconds, she was walking down the cellar stairs. I didn’t bother hiding the magazine I’d been reading instead of studying, since it was already on the inside of the textbook. Sometimes I’m just blown away by my own cleverness.
“That’s some cousin you got,” she fumed as she searched the stacked boxes and crates.
“Step cousin,” I corrected. “I’m convinced that she’s actually an evil witch or something like that. She’s not really a sweet person. Except when it comes to my ridiculously nerdy brother. She’s always had this super creepy crush on him; I know we’re not really related, but it still freaks me out. I’d rather a flesh-eating vampire zombie crush on him.”
A metal clanking told me that she’d dropped something, so I glanced over.
“What’s this?” she asked, pulling a sheet off of a large machine with two helmets attached by separate wires.
“Oh, that’s just the Brain Swap. Don’t touch that, you could—Lightbulb! “You could take my math test for me! You’re a geek!”
“Gee, thanks.”
“No, I mean you’re a nerdy-type smart kid. It’s a compliment, kind of. If you take y math test I can still get my A and keep my powers!”
“I don’t think so,” she hesitated. “I like comic books and movies, but I don’t like being involved in this other-worldly stuff.”
“I expected better from Peter’s best friend!” I told her. “How selfish do you have to be to deprive me of the only A I’ll probably ever get?”
She hesitated. “Look, Brook, I just don’t know if I could handle it, you know, being human and all. It’s probably all painful and scary and what if something goes wrong?”
“You watch way too many movies,” I sighed as I sat her in a steel chair next to the Brain Swap. I snapped the cold silver bracelets onto her wrists before she could argue and placed the first helmet firmly on her head.
I put the second helmet on myself and sat in the next seat. Flipping all of the on switches first, I pressed Start.
Without much noise, the machine blinked done.
“Did it work?” I heard my body ask.
“Yes!” I celebrated from Kay’s, thinking of all the possibilities that awaited me in my new disguise.
“Testing, one, two.” She jumped up in delight. “I sound just like Brook, I mean, you!” She observed herself in a mirror. “And I look like you too! It really is like a movie!”
“Sure. Now, study up!” I pulled the magazine from the book and snatched a few sodas before returning with a drink for Phyllis. “Here you go,” I told her sweetly.
“Thanks.” She shrieked as sticky foam exploded onto her new dress.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I pretended to apologize. “That must have been the one I dropped on the way up. Let me help you.” I hid my amused grin as I tossed her a wet paper towel and opened myself a can of ginger ale.



“Okay, so you aced my test, right?” I asked Kay as we walked back to my house after school. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead. What a heat wave we were having. I couldn’t wait until we could get inside and have something to drink.
She grinned.
“Good. Now I’ll just get home and switch us back before I have to spend another night at the creepy Krispen house. You don’t even have a real bedroom. It looks more like a science lab than Peter’s room does.” My hands instinctively moved behind my head to tie up a ponytail, but I was quickly reminded that I now had Kay’s short strawberry blonde hair.
“I have to admit that I’d like to get back into my own body,” she sighed as we walked into the air conditioning of my livingroom.
“I’ll be right back,” I told her as I headed to the kitchen to grab a drink.
As I returned to the livingroom, I could see Kay—well, me—mimicking a Jedi, jumping from the couch to the coffee table, waving a baseball bat as though it were a light saber. “Peter, I am your sister,” she said in what was supposed to be Darth Vader’s voice. Phyllis and Peter just stared back at her.
“Kay,” I paused, realizing that I looked that I looked like I was Kay, but I quickly played it off as though I meant “okay”. “Time to go study, Brook. I’m being her personal tutor,” I said as I shoved Kay off the table and dragged her to the basement door. I rolled my eyes as she began doing the robot.
“What are you doing?” I finally asked after I’d shut the door. “This is like our Xena secret, okay? This is supposed to be low profile, Kay! Stop being so embarrassing!”
We sat in the chairs as I flipped the switches to reverse and hit Start.
“Oh, my brain hurts,” I heard myself say.
“That’s because it’s squished up against mine!” I snapped. “Oh my gosh, you’re in my head.”
“If I’m in your head,” Kay’s brain asked, “then who’s in there?” I pointed to Kay’s body.
“Maybe it’s a zombified monster. Quick, strap it down!”
I quickly strapped her into the chair. “Why?” Kay’s brain asked with my voice. “Is it dangerous?”
I laughed. “I have no idea. I’ve just always wanted to see you tie yourself down.” I continued to laugh and shake my head.
“I’m telling Peter. He can help us,” she told me. “He always knows what to do.”
“No you’re not,” I answered quickly. There was no way Peter was going to find out about this. “It’s still my body and I’m the boss.”
I started to involuntarily walk towards the stairs.
“What? How are you doing that?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a lot smarter than you. It’s not really that hard.”
I grabbed the wall and successfully dug one boot heel into the ground while the other still wanted to climb the stairs.
“Peter!” she called before I could stop her. I immediately clapped a hand over my mouth, distracting myself and letting Kay walk me to the top of the stairs.
The cellar door opened, revealing me with my hand on my mouth and my body wedged in the staircase in an attempt to keep Kay from leading me upstairs.
I stared back at Peter and our almost-cousin for what seemed like forever, feeling like an idiot.
“Ow!” I exclaimed as Kay bit my hand. “What the—you’re gonna pay for that!”
“I have to talk to you,” she told him urgently.
He looked at me suspiciously. “What for?”
“I just need to tell you—“
I didn’t think fast enough and Kay took over again. “Alone. Please.”
I quickly shook my head. Phyllis quirked her eyebrow and looked me up and down. I know I must have looked crazy. “Actually, nevermind, I have it all worked out.” I didn’t need his help.
He turned to leave with Phyllis. Before the door closed, Kay grabbed him by the arm. I cursed her out in my head. “It’s important, but I can’t say it right here in front of our company.”
“Shut up!” I angrily whispered at my own mouth.
My brother rolled his eyes and excused himself, joining me and Kay in the cellar.
“Now what’s going on?” he demanded.
“Absolutely nothing,” I lied unconvincingly. Everything’s great! You can go back upstairs to our creepy relative now and let her drool all over you.”
I shook myself, trying to keep control, but Kay came through anyway. “Look what your sister did to me!”
He looked at me in bewilderment.
“Well, I mean, not me, because I know I look like Brook, but—“
“I am!” I announced with a hint of irritation in my voice. “That’s me! Your sister, Brooklyn O’Malley.”
“No, that’s not me,” I seemed to argue with myself. “It’s me. It’s Kay.”
“Kay?” he asked in shock. “You’re Kay?”
I nodded. “See?” she told him. “That’s my body over there. And here I am stuck in your sister’s body with her as though this is some kind of Freaky Friday!”
He nodded, finally seeing the bigger picture. “That would explain the stranger-than-fiction behavior. Okay, tell me exactly what happened.”
“Well, I came down here to get Phyllis a soda, and Brook was sitting over there and studying, which I thought was really weird. I mean, since when can Brook read?”
“Hey!” I shouted.
“I was actually talking to Brook,” he told her with a small shrug.
“Fine! Don’t talk to me. I’m only the victim here!”
I sighed before running through the story. It was like a ridiculous sitcom or movie plot. I could barely believe what had happened, even though this was far from the craziest thing that I’d ever gotten myself into.
“Mmhm, mmhm,” he nodded during the entire story. At last he spoke. “I have one idea.”
He put us back in the chairs, made a few adjustments, and pressed the same red button I’d been pushing.
“Finally, I’m alone,” I sighed as the pressure in my head was released. Only one problem: the voice wasn’t mine! I looked down to see pasty white hands with ungroomed fingernails. “I’m in Kay’s body again! Peter, your stupid plan didn’t work!”
“We’ll just have to ask Dad for help,” he decided, but I couldn’t let my father find out about this.
“No,” I whined as I chased them up the stairs.
“Wow, the whining is just as bad when it comes from my body,” Kay observed.
I squared her own jaw at her.
Peter laughed. “Hey, I think I like this Brook better. Why don’t I keep her and let you go on vacation with Kay’s family? They’re going to the Rockies for a two-week camping retreat.”
“But then I’ll miss the family sing along on the way to the mountains,” she worried. “One hundred nano chips on the wall, one hundred nano chips. Take one chip, overwrite it, ninety-nine nano chips on the wall!”
“Okay, we’ll go to Dad,” I surrendered under the torture, though the song undoubtedly sounded better with my voice than it would have with hers. “I am not going to sing a geek song! Not—purposely—anyway.”
I pushed past Kay and Peter and ran through my livingroom, “Dad!” I saw Phyllis’s face and remembered that I was in Kay’s body. I told her, “Peter and I are so close that we’re like siblings. So sometimes I accidentally call his parents Mom or Dad, in case you ever hear me do it again.”
I made it to the kitchen. My father stared at me, waiting for me to say something. But I wasn’t sure what to say. My mouth opened and closed a few times as I tried to find words.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
“Dad,” I whined, fully aware that I was still “Kay”. Dad I messed up and now I’m stuck in Kay’s body and it’s horrible and now I’m my best friend’s girlfriend and I’m not going on a roadtrip with her family and singing dorky songs and I can’t look like this forever!” I started to cry.
“Okay, okay,” he tried to comfort me. “Just calm down. I’m sure we can work this out; just start from the beginning and take it slowly.”
I explained the helmets and the swap, how we’d been stuck inside of my head, how I’d had the world’s worst headache, and how Peter’s plan had only put us back where we started.
“Why did you use the brain swap in the first place? It was down there, under a sheet, because it doesn’t work properly anymore.”
Oh. I’d kinda thought it was just supposed to be hidden or something. “I used Kay to get me an A so you wouldn’t take me off the X again.” I gave a nervous half-laugh. You know, this is gonna make a great story some day,” I tried.
He frowned so hard his whole forehead creased. “Okay, if this is anything like what happened to Aunt Matilda, I think I can fix it. All I need is a reverse elixir. I’m not sure I remember the exact recipe, but we’ll figure it out, okay?”
I nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“This doesn’t mean you’re unpunished,” he warned sharply. “You’re double punished for cheating and not getting an A.”
“What? But I did get an A!”
“No,” he corrected, “Kay got an A. Brook got in trouble. No using any of our gadgets for two weeks, and I will take you off the X for the next few days.”
I opened my mouth to argue but stopped. I guess this was only fair. Besides, all I cared about right now was getting back into my own body.



“Okay, so remember,” I explained as I rolled a sleeping bag on the floor next to the cot Phyllis would be sleeping on, “you have to sleep here until we’re switched back. Unfortunately.” I wouldn’t admit it, but I was glad to have even Kay here if it meant not spending the night alone with the Ice Queen. She might suck my blood or slit my throat or something in the middle of the night. Probably the first; killing me would only put me out of my misery. “Dad gave me two elixirs,” I held up the glass bottles for her to see. “We drink them before we go to sleep and in the morning it will all be better! That is, if it works out the way I’m hoping. I can’t spend much more time in this wimp costume.”
I sat on my bed and uncorked the first bottle, downing the red liquid inside. It tasted like vanilla, but I faked gags and scrunched my face all up to show Kay how terrible its flavor must be.
“What’s in this stuff?” she asked, holding hers in front of her.
“You don’t want to know,” I warned.
She hesitated before pressing the glass to her lips and drinking it in one big gulp. “That’s not so bad,” she decided as she let out the breath she’d been holding.
“Yeah, just wait for the newt eye and bat brain to kick in.”
Just the thought made Kay gag. I held back a chuckle. Even in the wrong body my acting skills were excellent. The best part was, there was no way Kay of all people would ever seek revenge for my little pranks.
Phyllis walked into the room in her pajamas. I hated how good she looked with her hair down and no makeup on her face. Sure, I was gorgeous when I was in my own body, but she looked like the pajama model that jumped out of a catalogue or something.
“Well, goodnight,” I quickly yanked the thick blue quilt over my head.
“Why are you sleeping in Brook’s bed?” she demanded.
I peeked over the top of my comforter oh so slowly. “Because Brook is just so sweet that she let me use the bed for the night.”
“I don’t think so,” she shook her head. “Unless you know a different Brook. One with regards for feelings other than her own. I’ve been sleeping on that junky cot and not once has she offered me the bed.”
Oh, please. She’d been here one night. Thankfully, I hadn’t been here.
“No, no,” I gave her my most sugary smile. “It’s just that, she doesn’t like to let people sleep in her bed who have fleas.”
Kay—I mean, my mouth, fell as far open as Phyllis’s. “That’s not what she means,” she quickly interjected, clearly unable to take this fight. “She means that I…lost a bet and now she gets to sleep in my bed.”
“What kind of bet?” she asked suspiciously.
“Yeah, Brook, what kind of bet?” I echoed. I knew that I’d be paying for this in the near future, but I didn’t want the shock of insult to wear off of Phyllis too quickly.
Kay gave me a dirty look. “Don’t you remember Kay? You bet me that you couldn’t spell your own name. And you won.”
“They way I remember it,” I shot back, “I bet you that I could get one boy’s phone number at a party. Apparently hacking into it after he tells me to drop dead wasn’t really allowed.”
“I have a boyfriend!” she exclaimed the completely unlikely fact.
I rolled my eyes before realizing how wonderfully her statement worked in my favor. “Um, duh, Brook. ‘Cause you’re not completely unattractive. Of course you have a boyfriend.”
“Oh yeah?” Kay shouted back, at a complete loss for words.
“Guys,” Phyllis interrupted. “Let’s calm down for a moment. Now, we know that Brook always starts the trouble.”
“Almost always,” I was able to agree from the safety of this disguise.
“So bet or no bet, Brook should sleep on the floor tonight.”
Kay groaned. “I hate sleeping on the ground,” she grumbled to herself.
“Agreed!” I sang as I pulled myself under the covers again.



Broken dream world images flashed through my mind that night. I tried to shove the hot blanket off of me as the sun inside my head beat down on me. I could feel sand sticking to my sweaty calves.
Peter was standing next to someone in a shining suit of armor, and Kay’s voice was coming from inside of my head. “It’s hot in here. I want ice cream. Can we go swimming? You’re dumber than a rock, do you know that?”
“Shut up,” I mumbled in my sleep as I pushed at her.
A suddenly very cold wind blew past us as it started to rain. I saw what looked like a shadow of a person holding a torch up ahead of me on the side of a cliff.
“Serena’s here!” Kay shouted in my ear.
“Move over!” I grumbled aloud.
“You move over!”
That wasn’t in my head. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with my own hands. “I’m back!” I jumped up with joy, but something yanked me back down. No way. Talk about being attached at the hip! That stupid elixir!! Sometimes I really hated this stuff.
A moan caught my attention. I looked over and saw Phyllis sitting up, facing the opposite direction. I flew into the bathroom, yanking Kay’s body along with mine. I slammed the door way too loudly and locked it behind us. If I could secure it in any other way right now, I would, even if he meant rolling boulders in front of the door.
“Brook?” Phyllis’s demeaning voice asked, “What the heck are you doing?”
I’m shooting a music video. Seriously, what does she think could possibly be happening?
I heard her sleeping bag unzipping and held my breath as she probably looked around her. “Where’s your friend?”
“Oh, I’m here!” Kay answered.
“Shut up!” I snapped too late. Great. Now what?
“You’re both in there?” The doorknob jiggled. “With the door locked? What on Earth is going on?”
Trust me, not an Earth thing. I pulled my cell phone off of the bathroom sink where I’d luckily decided to charge it against Peter’s theory of electrocution. “Zach, I need u2 distract my monster cousin. In major trouble. Pleeeeeeez.”
Zach quickly texted back “No.”
This was Zach we were talking about. I could break him pretty quickly. If I couldn’t, we probably wouldn’t be friends. “Kay here too.”
That was all I needed to say. He immediately agreed to help distract Phyllis.
“I’m not leaving until you come out,” she decided. I rolled my eyes.
“What do we do until Zach shows up?” Kay whispered. Zach only lived a few minutes away, so unless he stopped for donuts and coffee, he’d be here pretty soon.
“I’ll play Indiana Jones on my phone,” I told her. “You can do math problems in your head or something.”



I sat on the livingroom sofa, completely myself sans superpowers, the next day. It had never felt so good to be so normal. The front door slammed closed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked Zach, who was worried beyond words and stood with his back pressed against the door.
He panted, barely getting words out. “Phyllis, hiding, quick, dying, can’t breathe.”
“Zach, you’re not making any sense.”
The doorbell rang and Zach dashed for the kitchen but tripped and landed behind the couch instead.
I opened the door to see my not-cousin standing there. My face fell. “What do you want? Shouldn’t you be in a graveyard calling up the spirits of dead tyrants or something?”
“Is Zach here?” she cut to the chase, ignoring my comment, though her beady eyes grew a little bit beadier as they darted around the room.
“No.”
“There you are!” she exclaimed, walking in as though she owned the place. “Playing silly games,” she laughed as he backed away from her in almost physical pain.
“I told you,” he choked out nervously, “I have plans today. I’m going…out.”
“You Silly! I knew you were kidding! If you were really going to the movies you would have asked me to come.”
“Look, Phyllis, you’re a really…girl, but I’m in a relationship with someone else right now.” He glanced at me desperately, but I avoided eye contact.
“I see: you’re playing hard to get.” Her eyes widened and she rushed her words together, “I love a good chase!”
He screamed and flew out the front door with her in hot pursuit. I shrugged and resumed my position on the sofa, setting my feet on the coffee table and taking another sip of ginger ale. He could handle himself.