All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
The Spleen of Punishment
“Noo,” said Bob.
“Huh that’s odd,” said his neighbor Gus upon hearing the noise. “Two is a strange number of O’s in no. You should either keep it short and sweet or draw it out. Two is just unnatural. And if it is a cry of distress as I am assuming it is, you definitely need exclamation points! More than one would be preferred!!!”
“NOOOOO!!!” Said Bob, betterly.
“Actually,” said Gus, rethinking, “With multiple O’s and multiple exclamation points it just looks sloppy. Like a child would write it.”
“What if a child is writing this!!!” Said Bob, contented.
“You idiot,” said Gus “You were supposed to be contented as you said that. No exclamation points!!!”
“Jeez, sorry. It didn’t say I was contented until after my line. I just had to take a shot in the dark. But seriously though, what if a child were writing this? It’s possible.”
“Please, do you really think a child could create such diverse characters, establish such a clear setting, and use such good punctuation. Not to mention the plot, which flows so effortlessly.”
Bob’s spleen exploded destroying Russia. It sucked big time.