I lay awake in the ward that night, studying all the motionless faces as I waited for sleep. I thought a little soul tweaking might be in order… I knew something was wrong with me, they knew, everyone seemed to know just what it was but me. I closed my eyes, I feared sleep would sneak up on me, so made my way to my heart as quickly as possible; I began to look for the demon in me. If Clair had put me in this ward, what was keeping me here? I walked thru a clouded field in my mind, sat on a very soft rock and began to ponder. Her face appeared before me, from then on I knew my demon incarnated in her image, though the real reason for this was hidden. I had no mental fear of her, the physical fear was fading. She couldn’t get me here I now believed, and I would look for her on the streets... if I ever got out. The demon’s complexion would bother me till I faded to sleep, but now it seemed to talk, or try. The closer I got she further it faded, the more I paid attention the quieter she grew. The demon left me; I opened my eyes and went back to face watching, till I could sleep.

In the morning the nurse came ‘round with what I could only assume was breakfast, had I ate it I’m sure I would have become sick, so opted to wait for lunch. The nurse allowed Carrie to have a whiff before she decided; the look on her face after words was priceless. Her bandaged eyes turned a perfect ninety degrees to meet mine, “coincidence” I thought. “Toni, why didn’t you tell me that stuff was so bad?” Her face was scared with hurt, like I had left her to fend for herself. “Sorry, I wasn’t sure if you’d like it or not…” Her head tilted down a bit, and then came back up “Could you even tell what it was?” I laughed, “No.” We spent the rest of the morning playing cards, the nurse had told me my parents would be dropping by sometime before lunch but they never did. It hurt; being confined in such a place and not even knowing exactly why, my parents never coming by to see me hurt. “No one but family” they said, “No unauthorized phone calls” they repeated to me day in day out. Friends weren’t allowed, and I couldn’t get any of the over- worked nurses to stop and tell me why, all they said was “You know why…” Sounding half sarcastic, the other half almost… depressive. It was almost like they were saying my friends had something to do with me being in here, I decided I’d find out once and for all.

The next morning I went to the first office I could find, swing the door open with ah and drama, slamming my palms upon the desk, “Why the hell am I in here?!” The pale doctor slowly swivelled round to face me in his chair, he had jumped when I slammed my hands on the desk and was still shivering. I was sorry for that, but I believed such an act was necessary to get the info I wanted. He looked me over real quick from behind his thick glasses, he seemed to take a special notice to the dark red stripe lining my, and everyone ells in my section’s scrubs. He took a big sigh of what I perceived as relief, “Oh young man, I’m Dr. Isener, and I believe you have the wrong office, Miss Kelly, your over- seer is two doors down on your left I believe.” I stood there for a second or two, my hands still firmly planted on the desk, not know exactly how to apologize for my behaviour. The doctor, as if noticing my unease, slightly laughed, “Its ok, I understand.” He gave me a weird wink, not gay or anything but like he knew something, and assumed I was in on ‘it’… whatever ‘it’ was. I slowly made my way out of the very plain and barren office, apologizing ‘till the door shut.

I walked very slowly down the hall; the doors were far apart so I had a little bit of time to think over my plan before I got to the office. I didn’t, forgetting myself my focus went to how dreadful hospitals were. Everything white, everyone either sick or dying around you. How had hospitals become a place of healing amidst such pain and decay? The question went to the back of my mind as I came to a door with the name ‘Dr. Kelly’ inscribed in bold letters on the blurred glass before me. I finally realized I hadn’t thought of what to say… “Oh well” I thought. “I’ve always told myself I think too much anyways…” I took a deep breath and walked in, knowing I wouldn’t leave ‘till I got the info I came for.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, it stung like dry ice. I thought it was static at first so I tested it twice more, the knob was frozen solid. With the seriousness of the situation at hand my adventurous side still got the best of me. I quickly ran down the hall to the nearest bathroom, I filled a paper cup from the dispenser with hot water, and went back to the office door. With a grin on my face a raised the cup over the door handle, pouring all the water down on to it. The aluminium globe split into a thousand pieces, all falling to and scattering across the floor. The grin on my face had extended from ear to ear as I took a step back to survey the damage. “Beautiful” I thought. I looked back to where the knob had been; the other side must have either split or fell off ‘cause I could see clear into the office now. Somehow, in the back of my head, I knew none of this could be real. If I thought it was, I would have never done such a thing. I prepared myself for whatever may be behind the door, with an axe from the fire hatch that is. I tapped the door with my foot, it swung slowly open in to the office, and coming to such a stop that I could have sworn someone was controlling it. I lowered my trusty axe; the office was empty, and barren like Dr. Isener’s. I exhaled heavily as I walked in, the door slamming shut oh so close behind me. “How can I be dreaming” I thought, “I know I woke up, I know I was on my way to Dr. Kelly’s… could I have passed out? Why would I pass out…?” My unwelcome dream cut off my thoughts, the subject of witch taking its form. I groaned, “Clair”.

She faded into view like the movies, her body slowly taking shape. “Yes Toni, it’s me. And you, naughty little boy, are in trouble.” My eyebrows lowered as I studied her face, she was serious. “You’re kidding me right?” I said, “You’re the one who stabbed me, then bashed my head in with a golf club.” The sick b**** grinned, “Yes, with a nine iron if I remember right… but that’s not the point Toni. You’ve done something much worse, something I can’t even see me doing to you.” I was enraged, “Oh yeah, and what’s that?!” She abhorred my attitude, but before I could scold her something swooped me off my feet from behind me. I was thrown back into this chair moving on its own, and brought right to the front and centre of the desk. My head was still facing down from the force of the chair, looking into my lap. Before I could raise it to meet Clair’s face, I saw her arms. They wrapped around my waist from behind, her hands connecting like a seat belt of sorts. I quickly looked over my shoulder but no one was there, then my view shifted back to the desk. She had been sitting there the whole time apparently, her frown turned to a grin directed at my bewilderment. I quickly checked my hands but the axe had fallen to the side when I was plucked from the ground by the chair. I tried to get up to get it but something held me down. I looked to my lap but the arms were gone, only their strength remained, keeping me in place. You know how they say that dreams bring out the height of your emotions? Well it’s true, for me at least.

I hung my head as I sat in front of the desk, almost snarling as I breathed. “You b****!!!” I spat as I yelled, my words having no echo, even in such a small office. “Toni, I’m talking about the last time we ‘met’. You faded me out. You didn’t want me there, you didn’t want me anywhere.” She must have sensed the doubt in me, “Weather you realize it or not you did do it Toni.” My temper began to rise again but I quickly subsided it, knowing this was my entire dream and that I had simply confined my self to it… I closed my eyes, trying to do whatever she believed I had done last time. I pictured her fading once more… I tried ignoring any sounds I heard; I urged my conscience to wake- “I think not Toni!” My eyes opened with her shout, she brought her self forward in the chair, leaned over the desk and slapped me. Three gashes were left from her unnaturally long, black gothic nails. I breathed heavily, my head hanging to the side. “It’s becoming too real” I thought. How could I not control my dreams? My characters and demons? She grinned as if reading my thoughts.

Suddenly her face turned to pain, she put her hands over her ears, cradling her head. I looked around me, was I doing something I didn’t know about once more? Something caught my eye, where the wall meets the ceiling…Water leaking from the roof? No, water was never so… dark… “Oh my god” I thought, “Blood”. It began to come down from every side, very slowly, as if it was being held back. I looked back to Clair, she was a wreck. Her makeup faded and her nose bled her blood shot eyes looked directly back at me. “Toni I can’t hold this on you, though I wish I could.” The blood was held at bay on the walls, but I did not go away, and this by whom I could only guess was she.

I woke with a glaring headache, the likes of which probably would have knocked me out again had my aspirin not been ready on my nightstand. I took them quickly, nearly coughing up the water afterwards. As my fit subsided, something in front of me caught my eye. I don’t know if it was instinct or what, but I just kept staring at it until my vision cleared, making it all well worth it, until the girl who’s bottom my eyes beheld turned around. Before I knew it she was staring at me, her hand on her thigh as if she were striking a pose. “I- I um… see, I was choking, you can’t blame a sick person!” She giggled knowingly, “Well you are a guy, and I suppose hurting you would only help your cause, eh?” I looked at her confused, what did she mean by that?? “Hey, it’s ok!” she continued, “I was kind of close to what you’re in now,” she said as she walked towards me. She was clad in black, her tight shirt tucked into her even tighter pants. Everything seemed to be tailor cut for her, the pants perfectly forming to her gorges bottom, the shirt seemingly wrapped around her chest. Everything was nearly skin tight. Not to mention her fair skin tone and beautiful face, her Asian form being a common passion of mine. “Yesss??” She said as she stood at my bedside. “Um, uh, were you seeing family or something?” I said as I hinted towards the bed in front of mine. “Oh” she said in a gloomy voice, “Yeah, my cousin came in here after he tried, well, you know…” I didn’t know, but I had a feeling it was a soar subject so I let her go on. “But he’s out right now, so, thought I’d confront my butt’s admirer.” She grinned as the words escaped her lips, I couldn’t tell if she liked me or if she was just enjoying the look on my face, but it was too late for me to find out. Some one called from the hall, “Oh, I gotta go…” She looked down to my name tag,” Toni, see you later, eh?” I nodded as I admired her… walking out. I let out a long sigh as I rest my head on my pillow, ready to sleep once again.

“Coleman!” The headache came back as my lids peaked; the unusually loud nurse came down the aisle, stopping at the foot of my bed. I blinked as my eyes came up to meet hers, “Yes?” I said as she stared back at me, almost, looking past me. “Oh!! Oh…” she giggled as she looked through a packet she held, some kind of list. “Toni… Coleman?” Her voice was almost purely abhorred, “Yeah that’s me.” She made some little mark, looking back to me: “Well, up, up! You’ve got an examination today!” If you were a visitor near her, you might think I was going to the circus by the tone of her voice. I groaned as I lift myself out of bed, my legs weren’t much help and might as well have been dead weight, except that I could barely move them. An orderly rolled up a wheel chair that I greedily welcomed, lounging in it like a recliner. I patted Carrie’s foot as I rolled by; telling her it was nothing big. Her smile faded, as I got further away, out of the ward, down the big hall.

I was rolled into a whiter room than all the rest, what could have been a trick of the mind but it defiantly seemed like it. The checkup was nothing like I remembered when I was on the out side, they did absolutely nothing except put me on the bed which then rolled me into a cat scan. As I was going in the doctor was telling me not to be scared of the pitch black, I was guessing he had either dealt with a lot of kids or a lot of nut cases cause he was practically holding my hand the whole way in. I had to almost be a little rude to get him to back off.

I was soon emerged in the dark, in some strange way a part of me felt at home. No one to bothering me… no one to make fun… I was master of my current world in a way. My imagination took hold; I pictured my bloody throne atop a mountain of charred remains and skeletons. Or was it I? Why would I ever be part of such a cruel existence? I tried to focus my thoughts, zoom in on the personality in a way but time wasn’t on my side. The room lights poured in as I was pulled out, I’m guessing the procedure was over.

The light ended as my eyes passed the threshold, like dawn to midnight in a flash. They didn’t really turn off it’s just… the light coming from outside the scanner stopped once I came out, looking back I could still see lit up inside of the scanner, but how? It was pitch black outside. A flash and a thud, my gut felt like it had just caved in on itself, and Claire appeared upon it. “Toni! Oh how I missed you so, though I guess I never really left huh?” She grinned as she starred into my eyes, I tried to fight her, even just talk back but my breath had left me when she hit, and it didn’t look like it was returning. “I’ve finally figured it out Toni, I have gained more control than ever before. You don’t believe me?” I just starred at her with wide eyes, wondering what she was what thoughts riddled her head. “This could hurt but…. Well, it doesn't matter anymore." I started coughing, a pain in my chest appeared and began to expand rapidly, I looked down to see my hospital gown ripped, gallons of blood spitting and flowing in all directions, and Clair’s arm in the middle of it. Her arm kept going in, further and further I could feel it going. It was as if every nerve in my body was ripped out and put to a sanding belt, the pain was unbearable. I saw doctors and nurses surrounding me, all just staring on as Clair dug herself deeper and deeper into my chest.
THE END