Anger… Sadness… Pain… Loss of mind… What’s next? My view on life? My see on reality?!
In my state of angered sadness I can feel strengthening pain course through my arms that can smash the greatest of walls. I can feel my teeth pulse and sharpen like they’re getting bigger, longer… Yet… Are they?
I can even feel my eyes burn like they’re changing being able to let me see the true intentions of people.
My nails pulse and throb like they’re growing into claws long and sharp.
My arms and hands and legs and feet give a glow of red like a fire burning from under my skin.
Each time I walk I can feel my spine change like it’s forcing me to slouch over keeping my legs bent so I could run on all fours and pounce. Each day my entire body pulse and throbs vibrantly as it feels like there’s something bigger that wants to rip me apart and let loose! Each night I want to howl and scream out into the night to make myself know to everyone.
Each day these feeling feelings get worse. Each day my body rejects them. It will not let me gain strength. It will not let my teeth grow bigger and sharper. It will not let me see a person’s true intentions. It will not let my nails be claws. It will not let the fire heat me. It will not let me be on all fours. It will not let the animal rip me apart and come free from my body and soul. It will not let me scream, will not let me howl into the night to make myself know to all who could hear it!
Will it ever let me? Will it ever let the animal lose?! Each day I suffer the longer I stay like this! Each day I lose my sanity a little more! Each day I want to let it loose a little more! Yet I just sit there as my knees buckle and I fall to the ground in crippling pain as I shed only a few tears… The pain grows worse as I feel the animals’ cage getting smaller… Yet it won’t break… It won’t shatter… It won’t let the monster loose… So I sit there on my knees crying… Looking at everyone as crippling pain pulses through my body… So I sigh and suck it up… I put a smile on to hide the pain that hits me right in the face… I want to let it loose... Is it the right thing…? Should I let the monster… The beast… The animal that’s in my soul loose? What will happen if I do? Will it kill? Will it rampage? Will it seek destruction? Or will it be calm and slowly take me over… Slowly turn me into someone else… Something else… Will the beast and I be one…? Or will we fight each other for control… A devastating fight that shred me… That’ll rip apart what’s left of me… What is there to do…? There are too many risks with any option… How can I calm it without letting it loose into the world…? Who can tame the beast, the monster, the animal that is in my soul…? Is it a demon…? Or is it just a dangerous animal that wants to see and be free…? What is it that is in me…? Can you help me find it and find out…?