The Water | Teen Ink

The Water

August 10, 2010
By BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments

I sit here on these stone steps, warmed by the summer sun, watching the water before me flow. It appears innocent as it caresses the small rocks and pebbles around it, but I can sense a deeply buried fury. It does not want to stay like this, tame and innocent. It wants to rise up and flood the hated stone. It wants to see the city blocks crumble beneath its raging strength.

But the prison walls are too strong, and the water polishes them as it tries to escape. The light glints prettily through the water, onto the rocks. The people around pay no heed to the hissing roar, do not fear the terrible beast that they themselves have created.

The water's thoughts are mad and incoherent, but it knows one thing with startling clarity. It knows that one day it will rise up and have its revenge. And one thing I know, is that it is right.

The author's comments:
This piece expresses my feelings about trying to control Nature.

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This article has 6 comments.

RyanTorres said...
on Sep. 11 2012 at 8:33 am
RyanTorres, Wilmington, NC, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:

Same thing here i will never be able to go to the beach again and think of it the same way

leafy said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 1:42 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

I love this, theslighrly poetic flash fiction. Nice job! 5/5

on Aug. 3 2011 at 4:25 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

I love it, I feel the same way!!!!! Good job don't stop writing!!!!!!:D

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Jul. 1 2011 at 6:22 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
I'm never going to go to a beach and look at the water the same way again :o I love personification! This was short and got the point across nicely. I like how at the end you say that it will have its revenge. Hm...a flood maybe?

Amiee said...
on Sep. 2 2010 at 7:35 am

wow, this is cool

i never thought of water like this, i really like this! it's personal but it makes you think of water with a whole different view point.

it describes water as calm and beautiful, but it also describes the water's dark side.

in a few words, GOOD JOB! LUV IT!

on Sep. 2 2010 at 6:31 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Kind of cool.  You usually don't come across a piece completely based on personification, in fact I don't think I ever have before.  But I think I like it, nice job.  Your words choice was very good throughout, but I think at one point you could have used a better word than 'prettily', I'm thinking something like, 'with splendor' would work well.  Anyway, nice job, keep writing, five starts!

Can toy comment and rate my piece, "Encounter"?