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The escape of elphie: intro
I am a Nympha from the Naias troupe. Or as you would probably say, I am an Elvin Fay from the water tribe. Ah what the heck I'm an elf okay? Well sort of a mix of faerie and elf. My name is Elfrea meaning "Elvin power" but I'm mostly just called Elfie. I was born from the ruling elf troupe, the only heir to the throne. Something you should probably know , all look pretty much the same: really tall, super thin with very little muscle that you can see, sharp and angular, but beautiful faces, graceful beyond belief, blue eyes and straight blonde hair that reaches the lower back at its shortest. The "perfect image of beauty". But somehow I am not like them.
I am well muscled (you know, as far as women go.) , only five feet and nine inches tall as opposed to the normal six foot six, curvy figured with a little meat on my bones, and green eyed. And unlike my blonde haired people, I have blood-red, extremely curly hair that reaches my mid back. I also have special gifts, my people can manipulate the mist, the magical source of life, according to their "tribe" or troupe, water can bend water and so on with earth, air, fire, and being. Being manipulators can heal and are from the night troupe.
I can manipulate all of them: water, fire, earth, air, and being. I am not the first to master all of the components of the mist, there has been at least one every generation. The strange thing about me is that I can manipulate soul. Thoughts, emotions, fears, lusts, wants, and movements are all part of soul.
You'd think that all of this power is an awesome gift right? Wrong, my parents were ashamed and frightened of me because of my appearance and powers, they mined all of the larthian crystal they could and built a chamber, or rather a cell, for me. The crystal is the only thing that can block the mist. So I have been locked in this room my whole life.
But tomorrow I'm getting out.
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This article has 14 comments.
For most of your story I was intrigued, there are far too little people who get the difference betweed elvin people. faeries, nadaids, nymphs ect ect
When you started laying out the character of elphie, though, I got a little dissapointed. She had all the possible benefits of her race, and no drawbacks. She can manipulate all of the common elements, and a special one of her own. She's just too perfect to be able to relate to or to like. I'd recommend introdicing a flaw earleir in the story, 'cause right now she's giving me a perfection vibe which I;ve never been able to like in a main character.
You ending was pretty interesting, but with all of the virtual super-powers you've given her, I don't think escape will be too hard even when she had a cryptonite.
4 out of 5, I liked your base for this, but I think You'd do better with a more ralistic main character :) Good Job!