Realistic Imagination | Teen Ink

Realistic Imagination

September 28, 2009
By B-Rabbit SILVER, Dallas, Texas
B-Rabbit SILVER, Dallas, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 0 comments

There was once a little girl who lived near a tall mountain. The mountain was so tall that the top was always in the clouds. The girl wanted to go to the top but her mom told her no, because the mountain is steep and she would struggle to go up there. So one day the little girl was sitting and looking out the window at the mountains. She said to herself, “I would like to see what’s at the top of those mountains. I think I’m going to go up there to see and find out myself.” So the girl gets up and takes her pet dog and started to walk up the mountain. Then the girl and her dog are finale almost to the top. “Now we will see what’s on the other side of these clouds,” she said. When they got to the other side, the little girl sees a funny little house. She had never seen that house before so she decides to go inside with her dog. She was hearing a loud noise as soon as she was inside the house. When she heard the sound again the little girl stops and hears carefully. As she opens the door of the room where the noise is coming from, she doesn’t see anybody there. She walked slowly inside more and more, then all of the sudden the door slams on her. She gets frightened and tries to open it but is locked. She then sees a window and starts to climb out, but then she hears that noise once again. She turns around and she spies a black bag hanging from the wall. She walks over it and grabs it. Then she opens it, but when she does, she gets a pleasant surprised. It’s an elf inside the bag, she starts to wonder how he ended up in there. “How did you get there?” said the little girl. The girl waited for a reply but the elf did not answer. She then gets tired of waiting and closes the bag tight and walks away. When she’s around ten steps away the elf speaks out. He says if she lets him out he will give her a surprise. So the girl and the dog walk toward the bag again and let the elf go. The elf gave her the bag in which he was tied inside in. she gets confused and says “is this the surprised you meant to gave me?” and the elf said yes. “Open the bag and look again,” said the elf. She does as what she been told. She opens the bag again and there is dozens of blocks of pure gold. She thanks him and goes down the mountain to show her mom. When she hands the bag to her mom, she opens it, but there is nothing there, her mom doesn’t believe anything the little girl has told her. The little girl remembers what the elf told her, so she tells her mom the same thing “mom, open the bag again.” Her mom does as she been told, and there it was, the gold.



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on Jul. 30 2010 at 10:33 am
JocelynnTaylor GOLD, Templeton, Pennsylvania
10 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am a writer, and so I write.<br /> I am a thinker, and so I think.<br /> I am a human, and so I have human thoughts and feelings.

I like this story but it oculd use some work.  Like punctuation, capitalization, and you can make the characters come to life.  Tell what the girl looks like,  what she is wearing, and what she is thinking.