A Typical Vampire Conversation





It had just turned 4:30. He was going to be late for dinner again. After all, the Hudsons would arrive by 5:00. 5:15 at the latest. Nevertheless, Melinda prepared for supper not knowing whether George would be home in time or not.
Once the table was set for their guests, George had stepped in.
“Oh, good!” he said joyfully. “Looks like I won’t be late for dinner tonight.”
“Looks like.” Melinda agreed. They both shared a passionate kiss. “What kept you?”
“Work as always.” George said taking off his coat and removing his top hat. “It was quite a tough day at the office. We nearly lost the bank’s money and everyone was scrambling around trying to find it.”
“How much money would have been lost?” Melinda asked.
“$100,000 dollars!” George exclaimed.
Melinda laughed.
“You think this is funny?” George asked.
“Oh, honey.” Melina said through her laughter. “The banks always lose money. What difference does $100,000 dollars make?”
“It makes a great deal of difference!” George argued. “ When the banks lose money, they lose value, Even if it was only a cent, the banks will be looked at differently if the money was not found.”
“Whatever you say, Dear.” Melinda replied uninspired by George’s words. “So who ended up finding the money at the end.”
“ You wouldn’t believe it!” George exclaimed. “Heckerman.”
“ Brian Heckerman?” Melinda asked.
“ The one and only.” George replied. “I swear, every time I try to shine he’s always right around the corner to rain on my parade. I’m telling you, if he’s not careful, he’ll be the next one to go.”
“As much as I agree with putting him on the menu,” Melinda began, “ I’m afraid that the Hudsons are on for tonight.”
“Aw, man!” George sighed.
“It’s either them or the Wilsons.” Melinda stated.
“The Wilsons? Awful! They’re not worth it!” There was a moment of silence as the two looked at each other. Then, they smiled while laughing and shaking their heads.
As George went to put up his coat and top hat, Melinda sniffed the air that whipped by her as George passed.
“ George,” Melinda started.
“ Yes?” George asked innocently.
Melinda sniffed the air more intently this time. “You had a little ‘before dinner snack’ didn’t you?”
George’s eyes grew wide.
“ Why of course not!” He declared. “I would never! I know how much you hate it when I eat before you my dear. It‘s very rude. The man eating before the woman. So ungentlemanly! I would never!”
“ Then why do I smell Casey Coleman’s scent all over your clothing?” Melinda pressed her eyes narrowing.
“ That’s not Casey Coleman,” George stated. “It’s Cheryl Lynn.”
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, George clasped his hands upon his lips, eyes wide with guilt and fear. Melinda’s expression was ravenous, her eyes had turned from the normal blue to the furious red. Her fangs sprouted out at the same time.
“Wait, darling,” George began, “I didn’t mean that. Let me rephrase the-” but before he could finish, Melinda already pinned him to the floor her hands tightening on his neck.
“ Sweet- hart!” he choked.
“ Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t rip your throat out right now George Saunders!” Melinda said. “You dare cheat me like this? Do you know how long it’s been since my meal? How could you do this to me George? Again!? Didn’t you learn your lesson last week?” Her hands tightened on his neck.
“ You. Don’t. Understand.’ George manged to say through constricted breaths. “ Her. Scent. Was to. Tantalizing.”
“I’ll show you tantalizing.” Melinda replied. As soons as it had come, Melinda’s eyes had turned back to blue and her fangs retracted. Though she still held her hands around his throat, she then proceded downward and kissed his lips.
He kissed back, relief filling his entire body.
Melinda had then relased his neck and smiled. “ Did you actually think I was going to hurt you?”
“ It’s quite convincing when you put on an act like that.” George replied as he massaged his neck. “ I won’t be able to sleep for weeks after that nightmare.”
“ Very funny.” Melinda chuckled. They both stood. Melinda had gone back in the kitchen to fix up the unattended parts.
“ Maybe I should’ve hurt you.” she said as she put the pots and pans in their proper place. “After all, it would keep you from eating extra again.”
“ I think you’ve definitely made me see the light.” George said. “No need to add extra pain.”
The two laughed once more. George had entered the kitchen and began to caress Melinda’s stomach. He then smelled her hair and puckered his lips to her faces numerous times.
“ George stop it.” Melinda said through her soft laughter. “I’m cleaning the dishes.”
“ Why clean dishes when we don’t use them half the time?” George asked.
“ Well, when we have visitors, I like to show a little less neglect when it comes to my household.” Melinda answered. “And it also keeps dust from forming on them, and boy do I hate dust!”
“ Take a break from the dust and pay attention to me.” George said soothingly kissing the back of her neck.
“George,” Melinda began, but soon, George had swept her off her feet. Their lips locked and so did their hands.
“ Now,” said George, “was that so hard?”
“ Yes, actually.” Melinda replied. “The Hudsons will be here soon and I have to set the table.”
“But-”
Melinda had put her finger against George’s lips.
“ You know the rule. Dinner first, dessert later.”
“ Ooooooh!” George breathed excitedly. “Where will dessert take place?”
“ Anywhere you’d like.” Melinda said. The two held each other and kissed again.
“ When are the Hudsons coming?” asked George.
“ Why is that any of your concern? You already had your filling!” Melinda turned away from him.
“ But I hat to see such good food go to waste.” George added. “ Besides, I have a big appetite.”
Melinda laughed. “I suppose you do. They’ll be here shortly. Now let me set the table.”

Melinda began her prepartions for the Hudsons as George read idly from today’s paper. Soon enough, they heard the Hudsons car about twenty miles away.
“It’s about time!” George said tossing his newspaper to the side. “Did you remember to tell them not to tell anyone else about our dinner party?”
“Of course!” Melinda replied. “I told them that only they were invited and not anyone else.”
“ Did that include the Heckermans?”
“ Oh believe me, they’re close to the top of the list!” Melinda added. George walked slowly over to her and sniffed her shoulder, his eyes closed. He opened them slightly as he looked at her face.
“ You told them not to invite the Greenes didn’t you?” Melinda stamped her foot hard on the dining room floor making the house shake. She turned her back to George as he laughed.
The black Buick pulled up the driveway soon and out came Oscar and Carol Hudson.
Melinda and George stood by the door as they awaited their guests.
“ Remember not to come on too quickly.” Melinda mentioned.
“ What do you think I am? An animal?” George answered smiling.
The doorbell rang. Melinda opened the door and the ‘Hellos’ began. Melinda greeted Carol. Carol greeted George. Oscar greeted Melinda. George greeted Oscar. Once the Hudsons were lead to the dining room, Melinda and George began to talk to one another unbeknownst to them.
“ I hate having to fake how happy I am to see them!” Melinda whispered. “It’s so sickening!”
“ That’s nothing compared to the enthusiasm I have to show at work.” George responded back. “ Well hia Jim! Arty! How’s the baby? Great!” Melinda and george laughed more louder than their talking had been.
“So who gets first bite?” Melinda asked.
“You can my dear. You deserve it.” George answered.
“Awww, Honey!” Melinda kissed his cheek.
“ Although I may beat you to the punch.” Melinda pulled back after that statement.
“So whoever’s quickest?”
“ Sure.”
“Agreed.”
Melinda and george entered the dining room, their plans set.
“So what’s for dinner?” Oscar asked.
Melinda and George shared a look. “Wouldn’t you like to know!” she answered.
“Something very special.” George replied. “You’ve actually brought it for us.”
“We have?” Carol questioned.
Melinda and George nodded. Soon, both of their eyes had turned from its orginal color to scarlet red. Their fangs had shown through their closed mouths. Their lips widened into a smile.
“ Oscar!” screamed Carol.
“ My God!” Oscar replied in awe.
Before either of the Hudsons could emerge from their seats and to the door, Melinda had grabbed both of them and pinned them to the floor. They screamed loudly. The shrieks were soon silenced with the crack of two necks.
Then, Melinda drank.
George stood in his orginal spot bewildered. Melinda looked up at him, her lips covered in blood.
“What?” she answered. “You said I could have first bite. I haven’t eaten in two months. I think I deserved it.”
“Agreed.” George said with a smile. He then joined Melinda and the two ate dinner side by side while conversing over the course of their day.