July 27, 1956

She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I’ve fallen in love with nearly everything about her, especially her smile. She has such a sweet personality and gentle heart, it makes me feel so good. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to muster up enough courage, but I want to ask her to be mine.

July 28, 1956

It is getting harder and harder to contain myself when I am around her. She’s too picturesque to exist.  I’ve started to spend more time with her. We both agreed that we’d like to get to know each other better. Her voice is so pleasant-sounding.

August 1, 1956

I asked her on a date today and she accepted. We were at school when it happened. Lord, was I nervous while I was in front of her. She requested that we not be seen together. I don’t know why, but I agreed to the condition.

August 3, 1956

We went to the cinema together. Watched a James Dean film, can’t really remember the title. Well, maybe she watched the film, but I was watching her. She seemed to enjoy her self. Her smile is so sweet.

August 10, 1956

It’s been a long time coming, but today was the day I finally asked her to be with me. She was very reluctant for some reason. But she came around. We hugged and kissed, and now we are together.

She expressed that the need to keep our relationship private was more pressing now than ever. I still don’t understand why, but for her I will do anything.

October 15, 1956

I can’t begin to describe how good these past months have been! I’ve never felt better than when I am with her. But for some reason, I feel a strange, lurking feeling. 

She doesn’t smile much when we are together anymore. I can tell she is tense and anxious about something, but I don’t know what. She’s more disinclined to kiss me now. Her eyes are growing tired, like she’s hiding something.

November 2, 1956

She is upset.

Today she told me that what we were doing is a bad, bad thing.

I don’t understand her very much. We were in her art class when she said it. No one was around, just us. She doesn’t want anyone to know that she loves me. I want to be upset too, but I love her so much.

November 4, 1956

She apologized for the other day. Said she got her feelings all knotted up. I forgave her of course. I wish she would lighten up. Seeing her this way hurts me.

December 7, 1956

I asked her what she wants for Christmas and she said that we shouldn’t exchange gifts. I’m going to give her one anyways. I’ve actually already bought it. It’s a nice scarf my friend sold me. He asked me whom it was for. I told him it was for my mother.

December 14, 1956

We were found out today.

The school principal walked in on us in the art classroom, her arms draped around my shoulders. He ripped her off of me, dragged her out of the room and told me to wait where I was.

I ran after them. 

There was so much screaming and crying. I told him to leave her, but he wouldn’t listen. She was crying out to me that we’ve done a bad, bad thing! We’ve done a bad, bad thing! We’ve done a bad, bad thing!

The police told me that everything would be okay as they handcuffed her and took her away.

They said she’d never touch me or hurt me again.