It’s early and I’m tired, we’ve been hiking for over an hour. This isn’t a particularly hard trail, other than its intense steepness, but I imagine any trail would be a hard one if you couldn’t see it. I’m not sure why Riley asked me to bring him here, not that I mind spending time with him, of course I don’t. What I do mind is waking up before dawn. I can’t say I’m a morning person.
“Okay Riley we’re finally at the top, what now?”
He answers by unzipping his backpack and pilling out a deep blue blanket. I imagine this shade would match his eyes perfectly, if he ever let me see him without his glasses on. It’s crèche but they say the eyes are the window to the soul so I don’t care that Riley’s blind, if they’re right than his eyes must be the most breathtaking thing in the world.
By the time I’m done daydreaming about how his eyes might look he’s already the blanket out and is holding a container of assorted fruit. I’m glad I was distracted, I always want to help him with things, even little things, things I’m sure he could do on his own. Honestly there isn’t anything I believe Riley can’t do if he wants to. Still that doesn’t keep me from wanting to help him with everything all the time despite the fact that it drives him insane.
“Don’t get me wrong I love myself some fruit and I appreciate you bringing it, but why’d we have to hike up a mountain to eat it?”
He makes a face that’s his equivalent to rolling his eyes. He reaches out with his free hand until he finds my arm.
“Just wait.” He says
“You’re the last patient person I know.” His smile assures me he doesn’t actually mind my lack a patience. He tugs on my arm that his hand is still holding and we sink onto the blanket.
“What time is it?”
“6:46” I answer.
“Okay, just give it a few more minutes.”
Sure enough a few minutes later I see something that makes waking up at 5:00am worth it.
In front of us is the most beautiful sunrise, more beautiful than anyone I could have dreamed up on my own. The sky is the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. Nature is not selfish like humans. The sky wakes up early every morning, always dependable, never failing us. I decide that the only people who deserve to see such beauty are the ones who are willing to go through the lengths it takes to see it and suddenly I’m ashamed that I complained so much about waking up at five; what a small price to pay.
“Isn’t it—“ I cut myself short being yanked out of the sky and pulled back down to earth.
“Beautiful?” Riley finished for me.
“Well I’m sure it is.” He doesn’t say this with anger in his voice, he doesn’t even sound sad, just matter of fact.
“Explain it to me.”
“There are no words.” I breathe. “But it makes it all worth it.”
Then it dawned on me. Riley made the same hike, a harder hike; yet wasn’t rewarded with the same beauty that I was, but God knows he’s more deserving than me. It hardly felt fair.
“Why’d you do it Riley?”
“For you.” His cheeks flush and before I can reply he quickly adds “Plus I like hiking.”
“Uhumm.” I say grinning ear to ear.
“Really, I like doing things that make me feel normal.”
“Well you aren’t normal.”
Riley’s mouth twitches as if he isn’t sure how to reply.
“You’re far better.” I finish, knowing he can hear the smile in my voice. He smiles back an embarrassed smile, his single dimple makes an appearance as the wind blows his dark brown hair above his scrunched up nose. I’ve always found Riley attractive but it was in this moment I realize he is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I slowly reach my arm out needing to make sure something, someone, more beautiful than the sunrise could be sitting in front of me. My skin makes contact with his cheek and the smile he wore fades into a more natural expression.
“I want to try something” I say.
I move my hand up to his glasses and start to remove them but he begins to pull away.
“Shhh” I whisper. “It’s me, just me.” His eyebrows pull together but he protests no further and I take the glasses away setting them on the blanket. I look back up and discover I was right about his eyes, they’re the same blue. I smile and shut my eyes and slowly begin to trace my fingers over every inch of his face. Feeling his beauty rather than seeing it. At some point he smiles, I feel his dimple and oh man I’m impressed that my heart could continue to beat.
I lean in pressing my forehead to his and for a moment we just sit there breathing in the same heavy air; I’m not a virgin yet this is the most intimate moment I have ever experienced. “I can’t explain the sunrise, but I can help you feel it.”
Riley’s hand reaches up to cup my jaw while his thumb runs over my lips. A question, he’s making sure I meant what he thinks I did. I shake my head yes and his hand moves to the back of my neck pulling my mouth to his.