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Some Things are Better off Said
When one feels as if they have the world on their shoulders, what does one do? What am I to do? The stories of my life can never fully be told by words, but this story is one in which I've found easy to explain. Through the long nights of my life, and the painful bruises, one man has been with me through it all. This story is for him; in which without, I wouldn't have a reason to breathe. I thank thy King in ways that cannot be said, only felt. My heart will always remain his.
I walk through the halls of my high school like I'm walking on eggshells. I always feel like everyone is staring at me. My locker is all the way down on the opposite end of the hallways; away from all of my classes. I walk alone. Slowly, I pass a man; RC, my best friend. He walks right past me without a word. Over the past month or so, things have changed between us. I'm not sure what I did, or maybe what I didn't do, but I really miss him. I hold my breath as his shoulder brushes my arm. Quickly I walk away, and get my books for the next class out of my locker.
Class seem to drag on; hours after hours of nautical nonsense that I can easily learn on my own. Last bell rings. Finally it's time to go home. I walk to my car, and wait for the others to leave. I hate trying to get out of the school parking lot. It's too much hassle, so I just wait. I see RC's car creep past mine, and my heart flutters quickly. I look away. Finally, just about everyone is gone, and I can go. My drive home is quick. Slowly I pull into my driveway. My father isn't home yet. He won't be home for another hour or so. For a moment I sit in my car, wondering what ever happened to all the times me and RC would do homework together right after school, and how he could always make me laugh no matter what. I miss those times. I grab my keys and books and go into my house. I am feeling nothing but sadness. I walk up stairs, and lay on my bed. My books fall to the floor; homework can wait, I'm exhausted. My body rests itself, but my mind can't seem to.
Stress is the only word that can describe my life at this moment. So much stress from school, and work. These past few weeks, they've been having me work from midnight to five, 5 days a week. When I come home from school, I sleep, and then I wake up, take a shower and go to work. When I get home, I have about an hour to do homework, and then it's off to school. I am very tired. Thank goodness I have today off. Tomorrow I have to work; but they have me working from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon. That's good for me. Luckily we don't have school tomorrow; some board meeting is happening or something like that.
I hear my father stumble in the door. This was his last day of work before he goes off to Europe for his trip. I really hope he's in a good mood. I don't like it when we fight. He walks right past me, without a word. The air always feels tense, but right now, something's different. He walks upstairs. After a few moments I hear him fumbling around; like he's throwing things. He's never done this before, what's going on? Why is this happening, why now? He's running down the stairs now. As I'm putting the dishes away, a glass falls, tumbling out of my hands. It breaks in a loud shatter. Quickly I try to clean it up, being careful not to get any stuck in my hands. My father is walking over to me. He looks furious. It's just a glass, it happens all the time.
'Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.'
'You're useless you know that?' He knocks the everything out of my hands, and the glass scatters everywhere.
'Why can't you do anything right!?' My father is screaming at me.
'I do! You just never look hard enough to see it!' Why do my words always seem to slip? With frustration in my voice, I scream back. Why must we fight now? This is the last day he will be here for a while. His hand comes beating down across my face, and I fall to the ground.
'Don't you ever talk back to me!' His fist is beating down on my side, sending sharp pains screaming through my body. I cry out for him to stop. As I wait for the next blow, I don't receive it. Through the corner of my eye, I watch my father as he grabs his things, and walks out the door; slamming it behind him. He's gone. He won't be back for 2 weeks at the minimum; halfway across the world.
Tears leak from my eyes as the stinging pain rises. My father always promised he would never lay a hand on me, but that promise is now broken. I lay curled up on the hard wood floor. I fumble with the large scattered glass pieces, and cry in pain and agony. My stomach hurts so badly; this is too much to handle. Slowly I begin to get up, but only fall back down as the pain in my side overwhelms me. I have to find the strength to get up. Carefully, and steadily I start to get up again. My body aches everywhere. As I crawl onto the couch, I start dosing off into a light sleep. I start to think of how, if I wouldn't have broken the glass, maybe none of this would've happened. I guess it is always my fault. Maybe I can't do anything right; just like my father said. I ache, everywhere. Quietly I walk up to my room, and fall helplessly onto my bed. The silky blankets feel like my own heaven. My heart burns. My dreams will not be pleasant tonight. To the world, I say,
'Goodnight'
As the morning of April 3, 2008 arrives, I peek through my tired emerald eyes. The sun is dancing above the Texas horizon, like a fire spreading across the prairie, it peers through my window. Spring seems to be a drag, as I perform the same routine over and over again, almost every day of the week. I look at my clock: 6:39 A.M. Only one minute before the alarm was set to go off. 'This happens every morning.' I push the dark grey sheets, and the soft, pitch black blanket off me. I stop suddenly when the pain in my side begins. 'Just don't think about it.' I tell myself. As I get up the hard wood floor is cold beneath my feet. No one has any idea of how badly I want to go back to bed. Phones ringing. Have to get up. I run down the stairs. Have to hurry up. Can't miss any calls. What if it's dad? I haven't heard from him since he left last night. He didn't even say goodbye. No, don't get side tracked. Run faster. I stumble down the last step. Hurry. Please let it be dad.
'Hello?'
'Hey' Not dad.
'Who is this?' I ask
'Silly, this is RC.' My best friend.
This is very unexpected. RC hasn't talked to me in so long.
'Are you there, Rachel?'
His words rush through my ears like a waterfall.
'Rachel?'
'What? yeah, hi.' My heart is beating faster. I can feel it pounding, thudding in my chest.
' I know this is unexpected.'
' You have no idea.'
' Well,' he sighs, 'I was wondering, what time you get off work.'
' They started me working from 8 to 3,' I reply
'Wow, that's kind of a long day. Well, I just wanted to know, that's all.'
'Alright.'
'Bye Rachel.' He says this softly, and, caring?
'Bye.' Hang up. Hang up now!
He hangs up. I don't. Now I feel empty, hollow, and dull. I should have said something else. I'm so stupid. I can still hear his voice echoing in my ears. It sounds so sweet. I have always loved his voice, even when he gets mad at me, and yells. I still love it. I go to the front door, and look out the small window to see if the paper boy actually remembered to leave a paper today. Wow, he remembered. Wait, what's that beside it? I open the door slowly, and see a small rectangular box sitting beside the paper. Well, this doesn't happen every day. I look to see if anyone is around. No one. The box is plain and black, with a bright blue bow tied around it. Pick it up. It's not fire, it won't hurt. Just pick it up. My hands are reaching for the box. I pick it up. It feels smooth, and cool in my ivory hands. It doesn't say who it's from. There's nothing written on the back, front, sides, nowhere. Alright. Open the box. I take the silky ribbon, and pull on it. It comes loose. My heart is beating so fast now. Close my eyes, yeah, that will be better. Open the box. Just open it! Picking it up was no problem, now why can't I open it?! Okay. The two parts of the box are moving apart. Oh god, the box feels like it weighs 50 pounds now. I peek a little; there I see a piece of folded paper. Look at that, it's beautiful. The paper is so smooth. Not notebook paper, better. My name is written on the front. The handwriting looks very familiar. No, it couldn't be from him, could it? Well, I guess I'll just have to find out myself. I open the paper carefully.
'Hey Rachel,
Just take a guess of who this is. I know you know. It's RC. I need to ask you something. Will you go to prom with me? Call me when you get this.
P.S I cut my hair this morning. Don't freak out; only two inches.
RC'
Wow, prom? Is he joking? He must be. No, he doesn't lie. Prom is only one day away. This was extremely sudden. I don't have a dress. What am I going to do? He cut his hair. What? His long dark brown hair should never be cut. He always used to let me do crazy things to it our first few years in high school. I run back inside, and dial his number on the phone. It's ringing. Oh no, what do I say? It rings again. This is the longest ringing process I've ever been in. It seems like minutes before it rings again.
'Hello?' He answers
'RC, I got your note.'
He's quiet. Oh no, maybe he was kidding. Maybe it was a joke.
'So, will you?' He means it. It takes my breath away. I open my mouth, but the words won't come out. Oh my, here they come, my words. I can feel them boiling up.
'RC, I would love to go with you.'
'Thank you, I couldn't imagine a more perfect answer' I have to cut him off before he gets ahead of himself.
' But there's one thing, my dad. You know that he's not going to let me go with you. We've been down that road once before. He doesn't like you, and I wish he did. He won't be back for a while, but, I'll feel bad if I sneak around,' Why did I say that? 'No, just, forget what I said, RC. I'll find a way to go with you.'
'Rachel, please, I don't want you to get into trouble again,' His voice is quiet now. 'Please, don't get in trouble. I don't know what I would do, if I found out I caused you any sort of pain.'
' RC, take it easy. Come on, you're more stressed about this than I am.' Am I really going to do this? Am I crazy!? What am I doing? The right thing, that's what I'm doing. 'Come by my house this evening after I get off work. We'll talk about this some more. Now I've got to go if I don't want to be late for work.' Again.
'Alright, I'll see you later Rachel.' RC hangs up quickly.
I'd better get ready for work. Boss said if I'm late one more time, well, you get the picture.
'Radio Shack' I stand back from the sign. How long have I been working at this crummy place? 5 months; hey, I remembered. I walk towards the two sliding doors. What if the doors don't open and I run right into them? Why do I wander that every day? I guess I'll just get this useless day over with as fast as I can.
The clock is ticking. I can hear it faintly. 2:50 P.M. Come on, go faster. I see the dark puffy clouds are starting to roll in from the south. I glance at the clock again. 2:52. Oh come on, go faster. Wait, why am I so excited? RC is just coming over, that's all. We're going to talk about prom, which is in one day. My hands are shaking. The clock keeps ticking. 2:55. I'm holding my breath. Why am I holding my breath? Breathe; I have to tell myself to breathe. That's lame. I'm lame. No I'm not, shut up. I'm not lame. Prom's tomorrow! I didn't even plan on going but now that he asked me, I don't have a choice because I already said yes. I can't back down now because that would be stupid and it might hurt his feelings and,
'Time to go Rachel.' Whoever you were, you distracted my thought. I was deep in thought there and you interrupted me. Wait, what? It's time to go?
I look at the clock. 3:00 P.M. I run out of the store as fast as I can, start my car, and drive recklessly home. Well, it didn't happen that fast. I've learned that if you hurry, it takes too long. Here comes the rain. It pours down hard on my car. The windshield wipers are on high, but it's still difficult to see. The sun is slowly subsiding, clouds covering it. It looks so beautiful with the rain falling in front of it. Brake lights; I barely see them through the corner of my eye. I slam on my brakes quickly, missing the other person by mere inches. Stop getting distracted. Only a mile until home. Why does this mile seem like 100? Why does everything seem like it takes more time when RC is involved? That was mean. Is he; is he already at my house? He's better at getting to places on time than I am. I shut off my car, and open the door. The rain lets up a little, but not much. It's pounding down on my body as I run to get inside, passing RC, and dragging him behind me.
'Do you need a towel to dry off, RC?' My voice sounds crackly. He's silent, and ignoring the question. I look at him, and he's looking at me. I can't take my eyes from his. I must look pretty stupid, just standing here, lost in his amazing eyes. Well, if I look stupid than he must look stupid, because he's doing the exact same thing to me. So it's settled. I don't look stupid.
'What are you thinking about, Rachel?' His voice, like heaven. I don't really think before I speak, my words just kind of come out.
'You.' Wrong thing to say. Or was it?
'Good.' He smiles. His smile is so gentle and caring. The corner of his lips always goes up more on the right side than the left. Not that I always look or anything, I just sort of notice the small things, that's all.
'Where am I supposed to get a dress for prom at this time, and what am I supposed to tell my dad if he calls and I don't answer?' I thought I said I wasn't stressed about this.
'Rachel, I don't know where you are going to find a dress in time, but I bet if you look real hard around here, you'll find one.' Why is he smirking? He's got a trick up his sleeve, I just know it.
'Go up to your room Rachel, look on your bed.' Oh geez, this is it. My heart is beating so fast. I feel like a hummingbird. Very slowly I start to walk up the stairs. If I'm lucky, I won't fall on any of them this time. How does anyone manage to trip up the stairs? There's my room, my dark, relaxing escape I call a room. I run to my bed, and there, spread across my blanket, is a full length, strapless black prom dress. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
'Do you like it?' I turn around quickly, and see RC standing in my doorway smiling. I run up to him and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. The tears let loose. Don't cry. This is a happy moment, so why cry? No, they're tears of joy. No one has ever done anything like this for me.
'RC, thank you so much. I love it.' I can barely get the words out. I bet this dress cost a lot. It sure looks like it. Oh well, beside the point. It's here, in my room, on my bed, soon to be on me. RC's hands are moving. I can feel them. They're going up to my neck, it tickles, but I can't let him know that. His dark brown eyes are piercing through my own emerald ones. Here we are, just two lost souls in a confusing world. He's about to speak.
'What are you thinking about now?' My heart melts every time he speaks to me. I shift my feet a little. I am uneasy at my thoughts. His finger brings up my chin to face him once again. He repeats,
'Rachel, what are you thinking about now? You can tell me anything your precious heart desires. I won't turn you away.' My precious heart melts.
'I am thinking that I just realized my feelings for you.' I can't believe I just said that. He's getting closer to me.
'And what are those recent realized feelings?' He knows what I am going to say, so why does he make me say them?
'I bet you don't even know that I've been in love with you for two years ''' Inside my mind, I'm screaming at myself. Just yelling because of what I said. I'm tearing myself down on the inside. No, he's turning around. No, please wait, he's walking away. What? No, come back. Please. He's gone.
Tears stream down my face. The figure walking outside my window becomes blurry as my eyes flood. RC is walking away from me. After all the laughs we shared together. All the fun nights just talking about nothing. Why now? When I finally opened up to him, he pushed me away. He just walked away, without saying a word. But he told me, that I could tell him anything, and he wouldn't turn me away. No, he was the one turning away. My crying begins to seize as a thought enters my cluttered mind. What if he was just trying to protect me? Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. It would have hurt a lot worse if he told me in words, I knew that. He desires to tell me everything he feels for me. Instead, there he is, walking away in denial. I run my hands shakily through my soft blonde hair. There will be no time for sleeping this night. How could I? My heart is to shaken up. A perfect night, ruined.
The rain is beating down hard on RC's neck. He's hiding underneath an old oak tree, the very same tree at which we first met. RC traces the bark with this fingertips, as the memory of that precious day renters his mind. He looks at my bedroom window in the darkness. Only the dim light shines. He's thinks of what he just did to me, and what a fool he is for doing it.
' I'm so stupid to have hurt her like that.' RC broke his own heart. 'Only a stupid fool. I have to go back. I can't leave her the way she is. Crying and alone in that house. Besides, Rachel is afraid of thunder.' He smiles at that funny fact.
Who is at the door? It's ten o'clock at night; It has been hours since he walked out, but my mind can't seem to get away from what happened. Crazy people. I'm laughing carelessly, because I know who is at the door. Should I let him in? Or, should I let him stay out there in the freezing cold, so he can sit there, and think about what he did. No, that's a little cruel. I open the door. He looks so cold. I take his hand and pull him inside out of the drizzling rain.
'Sit.' I point to the stool by the short round table. He sits.
You're crazy for letting him back into your house. I must be crazy. Something's not right up there in my head. Maybe something came unscrewed. Silly thought. I grab the black towel from the clothes hamper, and drape it over his wide tan shoulders. My hands get lost in their motion. Quickly, I pull them away. There he is, just looking at me. I can see in his eyes, he's sorry for what he did. He doesn't have to speak to me, I already know. I wipe the last tear from my eye, and sit next to him on another brown stool. He almost speaks, but I cut him off.
'Don't say anything. I know why you came back. I beat myself up in there, thinking I was such a bad person for saying what I really felt for you. But then I realized, you were just trying to protect me. I asked myself, from what? There are multiple answers, and I just can't seem to settle on one.' His finger presses against my lips. I'm still trying to speak, but it all sounds like scrambled words now.
'I'm sorry Rachel.' Is he, crying? His eyes are so sad. Tears are slowly streaming down the sides of his face. I take the end of my sleeve on my sweater, and wipe them away. His eyes close softly. He take his hand, and tangles with my fingers. Interruption. Phones ringing.
'Just be quiet okay?' I smile at him. He nods his head. I run around the island in the middle of the kitchen. The tile underneath my feet feels like icebergs ramming into each other, only my feet are blocking them. It's still ringing. Hurry. Get the phone.
'Hello?'
'Hey kiddo, how's it going?' It's dad.
'Oh, hey dad. Nothing, just getting ready to go to bed, oh and I've decided to go to prom. I'll just wear something nice.' He's quiet. I think he knows.
'Well, have fun.'
'Alright, love you.'
'Love you too, night.' A relief, he didn't ask if I am going with anyone.
I hang up the phone. Hopefully in that amount of time, RC couldn't have gotten into too much trouble. I walk back to the kitchen. He's not there. He left again. No, please. I am left here standing in disappointment in front of the stool, thinking of what a waste of time it was with everything. My eyes are welling up with tears again. Suddenly, I can feel his presence. His hands are going around my waist from the back, and his head is resting on my shoulder. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. My hands grip his tightly, as he whispers tenderly in my ear.
'Rachel, I love you.' Am I hearing correctly, or did my ears just deceive me? I turn around to face him, and for once in my life, I finally realize how tall he is. A little over six feet tall didn't seem like that much to me, but now he seems like a skyscraper. I reach up and tie my fingers in his hair as I whisper against his lips.
'I love you too, RC.' So close to his smooth lips. Every time he breathes, I can feel it tingling with my own.
'Rachel, you need your rest. We both have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.' He's right, I really should get some sleep, but I'll be all alone. Besides, it's raining, and he knows I'm really scared of thunder.
'And I know that you are really scared of thunder, so I'll stay here with you tonight. If you want I'll stay down here and sleep on the couch. I think that might be better.' He is not going to sleep on this couch. It's old and dusty and not very comfortable at all.
'RC, the only difference between me and you, is that at times, we think completely opposite. There is no way you are going to sleep on that couch, not while I'm still living anyway.' I forgot to think of where he will sleep though. The guest room.
'You will sleep in the guest room' My hands are shaking again. I'm so nervous. What if he just decides to go home?
'Alright, but if you get scared, just come and wake me up.' He smiles at me. He speaks again,
'I'll be in bed in a little while. I'm going to go grab my book out of my car, you know, got to stay smart.' RC points at his head. We both are laughing. I'm watching him walk out the door. Slowly, I walk up the stairs to my room. Goodnight, RC.
What's that noise? I wake up in an instant, reaching over to turn on my lamp. Oh no, thunder. Please, no. Thunder is so scary. It's so loud. Make it go away. I hide underneath my pillow, attempting to block out the noise. It's getting closer, and as it gets closer it gets louder. Silence. A few moments of pure silence. I pull the covers back a little, and glance at my clock. 3:34 A.M. More silence. There's nothing but silence. I'm just waiting for it to be broken. The house shakes suddenly, and the loud crack of thunder scares me so bad. I scream out in fear. Out of all the phobias in this world, why did mine have to be a phobia of thunder? I can hear RC running down the hall. I hide under my covers even more so he can't see my crying.
'Rachel, what's wrong?' The thunder cracks loudly again. RC quickly walks to the side of my bed, and sits down. He pulls the covers back gently, and runs his fingers through my hair. He's pulling me up, holding me against him.
'It's just thunder Rachel. It's ok. Don't be scared.' Everyone else laughs at me when I tell them that I am afraid of thunder, but RC comforts me. I can get used to this. I wrap my arms around his waist, and hug him tightly.
'Are you going to be ok?' He's smiling a little. My heart melts. The thunder continues to rumble. I pull him closer.
'I take that as a no.' He laughs lightly. 'Do you want me to stay with you?' His hand reaches for my face, a little too quickly. I flinch suddenly.
'Hey, Rachel? Are you ok?' He tries to lift my chin to face him. I cringe.
'Please stay with me tonight.'
'Rachel, I'll only stay, if you tell me why you flinched. Has someone hurt you?' His voice sounds concerned as he looks deep into my eyes.
'Please, I don't want to talk about it.' I hate bringing up the past.
'Rachel, I need to know. Please'
'My father is the reason that I flinched.' I look away from him. I shouldn't have brought up the past. This only hurts me more.
'Rachel, please tell me what happened. Where did he hurt you?' His eyes look so soft. I take his hands, and slowly put one on my face, and the other on my side; it hurts.
I sigh. He holds me close to him.
'The night my father left to go on his trip, we got into an argument. Well, it was far more than an argument. My words slipped, and I ended up talking back.' I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. RC brushes the hair out of my eyes.
'Sometimes I just can't take it when he yells at me. RC, he hit me, very hard where your hands are. After that, he just walked out. He didn't say goodbye, or say sorry. Nothing; he just left me lying on the floor, crying.'
RC climbs into my bed next to me, and holds me ever so closely. Softly he whispers,
'Everything is going to be alright. I won't ever hit you Rachel, I promise.'
My heart melts as I listen to his words.
'I know you won't hurt me. I'm sorry I flinched.'
He looks into my eyes.
'No, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. Your father is a heartless, cruel man to have done something like that. Even if you did talk back, he shouldn't have hit you.'
'It doesn't matter RC, it's over with.'
'Rachel, it does matter. I don't want him to do it again. I don't want you to be in danger.'
'RC, please, I don't want to talk about it anymore.' I look away from him. 'You and I both know, all too well of why he treats me so differently. My past is'''
His fingers cover my mouth.
'Rachel, let's not think about that. Come here.'
My eyes close tightly, as his hands rub my back, sending me off into my land of make believe, the place, where dreams come true, and it doesn't cost a thing.
Now I hate the sun. It's practically blinding me. Today is Saturday. Yes, I don't have to work today. I really don't want to open my eyes. What if RC isn't there? Maybe I was just dreaming what happened last night. I peak through one eye. There he is. In front of me, still holding me, and still asleep. He looks peaceful for once. Prom starts at six this afternoon. It's barely 11 in the morning. I have a feeling; it's going to be fun. I poke RC's cheek playfully, seeing if he will wake up. He screams 'Boo!' I scream too. He holds me closer and laughs, saying he's sorry. For a while I feel as if I drift off again, but I guess I'm just so relaxed, I can't tell the difference between my dreams, and reality.
One o'clock. Get up. Go take a shower, a long, nice hot shower. Man, that sounds really good right about now. RC is still sleeping. I should probably wake him up to. He needs to get ready.
'RC, wake up. I'm going to go take a shower. You need to go get ready.' I nudge him a little. He grunts, pulls me to him, and tickles me.
'RC I'm serious you really, need to go get ready. Stop tickling me.' I get up and run out of the room, laughing quietly. He's chasing me. I run into the bathroom, and lock the door. I bet he can't get me here.
'Okay, I'll make a deal with you. I'll go home and get ready, while you stay here and get ready. I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up.' He taps on the door lightly.
'Okay, but drive slow, RC.'
'Alright. I'll see you in a bit.'
His footsteps thud against the hard wooden floor. I sit back against the white door, and listen to him drive off. Get up. Turn on the water. Get in. Okay, did that. Wash hair, wash body, just be beautiful. Okay, I washed my hair and my body, but I'm not sure about the just being beautiful part. Don't say that. It's not good to bring myself down, especially on a day like this. Get out, do makeup, fix hair. That didn't take long. Where are my clothes? I wrap myself up in my fuzzy black bathrobe, and run to my room as fast as I can. I grab the dress, and everything else I need as quickly as I possibly can.
As I start to get dressed, I come to a startling realization. What if the dress is not in my size? Slowly I step into it. The inside is so smooth, it feels like silk. It slides past my hips easily, and drifts up onto me like magic. Perfect, now to get it done up. Oh boy, here comes the fun part. Just as easy as pie, it zips up. I must make any necessary adjustments if I want to look good for RC. Hair, check. Makeup, check. Dress check. Shoes not check. Quickly I run into my room, and grab my only pair of heels. I haven't worn these in a while; I really hope they still fit. They do. This is the longest I've ever spent on getting ready. Stand back now, look at yourself. I am absolutely beautiful. My blonde curly hair is flowing down my back. My emerald green eyes sparkle in the light, and my skin glows a radiant ivory. After the length of time without talking to RC, why has he picked now to do such a thing as this? Maybe, I should ask him myself.
Phone is ringing, again. I am trying to make it down the stairs as quickly as I possibly can.
'Hello?'
'Rachel, I will be there in a few hours. I have to look after my little brother for a little while. Don't worry, I'll be there. I promise.' He sounds so apologetic. And I didn't mean that in a sarcastic way either.
'It's ok, do what you must. It gives me more time to get rid of this nervousness.'
'I'll be there soon. Goodbye, Rachel.'
'Wait, Rc.'
'Yes?'
'We didn't talk for so long. You never even looked at me in the hallways. It hurt, and it hurt badly. So my question is; why did you pick such a time, too do something like this?' He is quiet for a few moments, before speaking in a low tone.
'Because I was tired of seeing the one I loved hurting. I was tired of not being able to hold you; because someone like you deserves only the best.'
'Rc, I love you.'
'I love you too, Rachel. I will be there, don't worry.'
'I know you'll be here; you've always been there for me.'
'Goodbye, Rachel.'
'Goodbye'
I'm hanging up the phone. 'Click' I sit next to it, and lay my head on the small, round desk. A smile spreads across my face, as I think of how amazing RC is too me. I walk up the stairs, to my room, and quietly play my guitar; awaiting the arrival of my king.
He's standing at the bottom of the stair case, looking up at me in sheer amazement. RC's suit is an off white. I've never seen anything define a man's form as well as this suit does. His hair is let loose over his broad shoulders. He looks so perfect standing there. This is it. Slowly, I start to walk down the long staircase. There's a buzzing in my ear, everything goes dead quiet as I walk to him. His lips are moving. What is he saying?
'Magnificent.' I only catch the last word of his sentence. His word still touches my heart. I've never been this nervous before. My small ivory hands are shaking uncontrollably. RC is reaching for them. We're walking now, out the door, down the rough textured steps. Evening is falling; I can see the moon struggling to get through the clouds to reveal its outstanding beauty.
We walk along the sidewalk, the small lights buried in the ground shine brightly. I can see them reflecting off the beads on my beautiful black dress. His suit matches the memorable beauty of the cream colored moon. We walk together; I am slightly in front of him. His eyes are fixed on each careful step I take, I can see it. He's cherishing how divine my walk is, I can feel it. A raindrop, a single drop falls on his hand. Smiling, he runs and stands in front of me. He takes my hands, and I feel a raindrop drip down my chin. His fingertips wipe it away. Chills run down my spine. I close my eyes and relax myself. He slowly turns around. I follow his eyes to a tall tree. The rain is coming down harder. He's running now, my hands are still in his. We're heading for the tree. Just like two birds flying against the wind, we run freely. The tree is shielding us from the heavy flowing rain. I sit down against the bark, and run my hands quickly against the soft skin of my arms, shivering.
RC takes off his jacket, and wraps it around my shoulders as he sits next to me. I look up at the darkening sky, which is covered in low clouds. I long to be as free as the stars hidden above. I can feel his hand, it moves gently on my face. I close my eyes once again, and turn toward him. He pulls me against his chest, running his fingers through my soft hair. His chest feels so warm and comforting. I could stay here for hours. I look up, and catch him looking at me. He quickly looks away. I move my hand to his thick square jaw line, and trace my fingers over his lips. We're getting so close. RC's hands drape around my curvaceous sides, as he pulls me a little closer. I can feel the heat of his breath on my lips. RC draws closer, and closer to me, until, I actually feel his lips. My body freezes as I slowly glide my lips against his for the first time. I wrap my arms around his neck, and deepen the kiss. His body feels so warm. I can't remember ever feeling quite so alive. No words are spoken, just feelings exchanged. The thunder rolls gently, and for once in my life, I'm not afraid. Nothing could be better than this; a perfect moment in a stormy evening.
The night plays on perfectly. Prom is the most memorable night in my life. I will never forget it. Of course, RC being a senior; and a popular one at that, he wins prom king. Everything was exactly how I'd always dreamed. In the weeks that followed this event, my father came home from his business trip in Europe. He will never know of my life changing experience, but sometimes, I think he knows. In case he doesn't, what father doesn't know won't hurt him right? I noticed that I learned a lesson in this special experience. If you wait for something long enough, it will always come to you. You can't rush things, because that's the same as pushing it away. With all the pain that you may go through, in the end it's worth it. These are the words of my dreams. Take my words into consideration, because you never know, something like this could happen to you. Live your life to the fullest, laugh any moment you can, and love all who come your way. Life's about choices; what's yours?
'Mistakes are made by those who achieve. Memories are made by those who succeed. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, and defiantly do not be afraid to make memories.' -Rachel Stone-
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