“You’re beautiful.  You’re more than beautiful, actually. I don’t mean beautiful as the attraction your physical being.  I mean beautiful as in the way you smile every time you wake up, because you know how much the world has to offer and what you can offer to the world.  Beautiful as in the way you can make anyone laugh or smile without ever being mean, and without expecting something in return.  Beautiful as in the way you can make everyone else’s life better without even trying. It’s like I can’t even explain it, I lack the vocabulary to describe just how incredible you are.  I should have fought for you that night.  You’re all I’ve ever wanted and I can’t live in a world without you in it.  If I were every lucky enough to have another chance with a girl like you, I’d spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I care… how much I need you.” 

A tear fell on down my cheek as my thumb once hovering over the send button deleted the text.  I couldn’t send it.  I mean how could I?  I’ve felt real pain before, but nothing compared to the night she broke up with me.  I’d never felt that kind of pain before.  She told me she wasn’t happy and I was too hurt to ask why.  I’d given her everything and I couldn’t stop her from leaving if I couldn’t make her as happy as she deserves.  I let her go. I lost her.  I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

***

“I can’t seem to find myself.  I’ve was buried in the consequences of my mistakes, and I blamed you for my failures.  I was in too deep.  You of all people know what I go through with my family, and that my home life isn’t the best.  I tried to stay positive but things kept getting worse and worse.  I didn’t break up with you because you did something wrong, I just didn’t want to drag you down with me.  I was a mess.  I mean, how are you supposed to stand your ground when everyone’s pushing you to the edge?  I couldn’t handle it much longer.  It wasn’t until we broke up that I realized you were the only thing keeping me from falling.  You’re all I’ve ever wanted and I can’t live in a world without you in it.  If I were every lucky enough to have another chance with a guy like you, I’d spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I care… how much I need you.” 

It’s been three days and I’m still lying in bed sick to my stomach.  I turned up the volume on my phone just in case he were to text, even though I know he won’t.  But how could I expect him to do so?  I broke up with him.  Now that was like no pain I’ve ever felt before.  I told him I wasn’t happy and he didn’t even ask why.  I thought he would fight for me, try to make me stay, but he didn’t.  He just let me go.  I lost him.  I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I couldn’t send it.  He didn’t need me. 

***
I saw her today.  It’s been one year, what feels like forever.  She looks even better than before, but still as beautiful as ever.  I asked her how she was doing with everything.  God, I’d still pick her over any girl.  I avoided eye contact as much as possible; I can’t even look at her without crying.  I told her I missed her.  I still love her.  I wrapped my arms around her for what could be the last time.  I went home.  I cried.  I lost her.  I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me. 

***
I saw him today.  It’s been a long time, and I can’t help but wonder if he still cares.  I couldn’t stop starting at him.  He has a new girlfriend, I asked how they were.  He’s probably really happy with her now, happier than I could ever make him.  He couldn’t even look at me.  He told me he missed me...he doesn’t mean it.  He loves his new girl.  He gave me a friendly hug.  I went home.  I cried.  I lost him.  I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

***
I found the courage to go out eventually.  I broke up with my girlfriend; I don’t want to be with anyone that’s not her.  I’m on my way to someplace low key to meet friends with connections in hopes I’ll find a way to take away this pain, to help me forget.

***
I have to continue on with life.  I find my strength in my music, playing harder every time I think of him.  It helps me forget.  I’m on my way to my lesson in hopes I’ll find a way to take away this pain. 

***
This is not what I need.  I shouldn’t be with this crowd; it’s not what she’d want.  I have to talk to her.  I can’t do this anymore, she needs to know.  I head to the store to buy some flowers that’ll bring the beautiful smile on her face I used to see everyday. 

***
As lovely as the piano sounds, it’ll never bring me the strength he gave me.  I need to talk to him.  He needs to know how much I care.  I get off the bench and grab my keys as I rushed out the door of the studio and to my car.  I’m shaking as I put my key in the ignition, in fear of what’s going to happen next.

***
Now I’m racing through town on the way to her house.

***
Now I’m racing through town on the way to his house.

***
I slam on the brakes as the stoplight turns red.  I watch the car beside me speed past and into the intersection.  I recognized him right away; it was one of the guys drinking when I met up with my friends.  He had no idea what he was about to do.

***
I slammed on the gas as the stoplight turned green.  It all happened so fast.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the car that should’ve stopped keep going.  In an instant everything changed.  I was lying on the ground.  I couldn’t breath.  The impact from the car flipped mine, and I was launched through the windshield.  I saw him.  I don’t know if I really saw him or if I just imagined I saw him, but he was there.  Everything began to go blurry.  The pain was excruciating.  My eyes began to close. 

***
I watched his car slam into hers; I saw her fly through the windshield and onto the ground.  It looked bad.  Without a second thought I ran out of my car leaving it running and ran to her side.  I don’t know if she saw me, but I hope she knows I’m with her.  I ran next to her and grabbed her hand.  I sat down and tried to talk to her, but she was already unconscious.  She was in bad shape.  I heard the ambulance coming from a distance and prayed they’d get here in time.  I should’ve been there when I could have.   I should’ve protected her.  It was all his fault, driving drunk.  Everything I’ve been bottling up inside every since we broke up poured right into my fist, and I knocked him out with a single punch.  Because of him, the girl I’ve loved for so long could vanish before my eyes. 

***
It’s still me.  I’ve been staying at the hospital for weeks now, barely getting to visit because her condition is critical.  I haven’t been to school.  I haven’t opened up, haven’t talked to anyone.  My world collapsed right in front of me. 

***
Me again.  I’ve just been told she’s stable.  She’s been in a coma.  Her parents said I could come in and talk to her.  She won’t be able to talk back of course, but they believe she could hear me.  I’m scared.  I have so much to say.  I walk in and take the seat right next to her bed.  Before I can get a word out, tears begin to pour.  I can’t imagine a world without her.  I grab her hand and start talking.  I don’t even think about it, the words just come pouring out.

***
Some fear dying.  Some fear living.  I fear dying before I get a chance to live.  Right now, I get a second chance.  I can do this, I’ve got fight. 

***
I woke up.  My hand was in his.  I will never forget his face when he saw me open my eyes.  We didn’t even speak.  He held me in his arms and I knew everything was going to be okay.  I told him I loved him.

***
She woke up; I was still holding her hand.  Even in her state she was still the most beautiful girl in the world.  We didn’t say a word, I just wrapped my arms around her.  I knew everything would be okay.  I told her I loved her.