“Walk on By”.

     It was hard to face the truth.
  Especially when it involved him; he meant the absolute world to her. There hadn’t been a moment she didn’t think about his black square frames or the curve of his thin lips. It’d been inevitable. And deep down she knew it, too. From the very moment they met it became quite clear they’d cross paths in a less subtle way. And they had…
  It was amazing. Like tiny grains of the richest sugar being sprinkled on her tongue. Falling for him had been the most effortless thing in the world. She’d never felt more at ease and comfortable gazing into his deep brown eyes. It was a difficult thing to explain. Because how do you describe how it feels to have your lips pressed against his, and how it feels to squeeze his hand.
  She was avoiding her grieving reflection in front of her. She sat on her knees grabbing at the loose strands of rug.  Her eyes were smeared with eye liner and dry tears, her lips stained with a frown. The diamond ring she wore on her index finger glimmered weakly in the dim lighting of her room. Her limbs felt like bags of ice. After a pregnant pause, she felt a surge of energy and began to sob hysterically. She covered her eyes, arms shaking and her chest convulsing. Her sweet soprano voice was garbled in her throat, unable to sound. Trying to breathe through misery felt like drowning. Little knives seemed to be poking tiny holes in her lungs with each drag of breath. Each tear was like another memory she would have to rid of. It felt like a purging of everything inside of her.
  After  what seemed like a millennium, she glanced up at herself. Her long dark hair was a mess around her flushed face. Her lips were quivering. Her dark eyes had this hollow look to them, a deep void stared back at her. It was like she wasn’t even really there. All she wore was a long buttoned shirt that belonged to him, which only made her cry harder. She resorted to her bed, only a few feet away.
  Wrapping her weeping body under the covers she squeezed her eyes shut.
  She had made him promise her that he wasn’t going to hurt her, even if the promise was futile and completely worthless, she wanted his word. And he’d given it to her with honest eyes and a warm smile. She knew it was worthless, but there was something about his word that allured her, so she accepted it.  Of course there had been a million reasons for her not to trust him, but she couldn’t find one.
 
  “Guess what?” his deep voice cooed. The warmth of his embrace surged through her body, sending a smile on her face as she glanced up at him with a gaze full of curiosity.  His thin arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her near.
  “What?” she asked, pretending not to know what was coming next.
  He yanked her closer, his lips grazing the skin on her jaw and neck. “ I love you.”

  Her heart clenched in her chest.
  Toes curled, cold. Stomach growled; she hadn’t ate anything in hours. The pain was killing her. Rage and sadness swirled deep inside of her, battling themselves. Suddenly her bed began to vibrate. Her phone, which was only an arm reach away, was going off again. She was too weak to touch it, not that she had even the slightest bit of interest in the caller.  
  “No.” her lips trembling. Feeling a rush of tremors she buried her face into her pillow.  She screamed cries into the fabric, choking on a broken heart and scattered pieces of priceless memories.  Her ribs ached more and more with every hitched breath.

  He was just ahead of her, his hands in his pockets, his gaze low with a purple hood on his head; sleeves rolled up.

  She walked with this easy flow of confidence, a smile creeping on her face. His gaze met hers and he smirked, taking one ear phone out of his ear. As she approached, he spoke.

  “Look at my beautiful girlfriend.” he yanked her into his arms kissing her neck forcefully, making her laugh. It felt so good to smile up at him, and have him smile back.

  It didn’t make sense to her. She searched her mind for a ‘why’ but could only find grief.  She rolled over on her back, staring at the blurry white ceiling above her. Her tortured voice called in silence for help, but there wasn’t anyone around to hold her hand. She was alone.
  A gasp of air spewed out of her mouth, rising.

  He placed the clean sheet of paper into her hand. “I have it.”
  She glanced at his expression and thought it was best for her not to read it in front of him. Accepting it with a pleased smile, she slipped it into her bag; curiosity spilling into her mind. -

  She pulled open a heavy draw, with a squeaky knob. Digging under a load of unorganized items and small boxes, she found the faded blue folder. She searched for the unfolded, unstapled, un paper-clipped piece of paper that stuck out more than the others. When she found it, her throat tightened.

- When she was alone, she smoothed the sheet of paper under her hand. His hand writing was scrawled in black ink. The date printed on the top right corner. She took a breath, beginning the sparsely legible paper.
  “ I guess I can start off by telling you how happy I am to be your man. You make me so happy when I grip your hand and walk with you through school .” she blushed.

  Her breath hitched. “It’s almost like I’m showing you off, well I mean I kinda am can’t even lie. I’m in this for the longevity. And if we play our cards right, I can definitely see a future in us.” Her fingers traced over the black ink that was engraved into the page. The words rippled in her tendons.

  “I care about you so much baby girl. ‘Cause let’s be honest, me and you make a pretty cute couple.” 
  She loved it. The spelling mistakes, the grammar errors… It was so perfectly him. He had signed it at the end, along with a heart. She couldn’t fight the burning smile. This was real.

Rage shot into her blood stream like poison and she crushed the letter in her palm. The paper crumbled so obediently, it was soft yet sharp with jagged edges poking at her skin. She made a fist, shaking it with bubbling emotion. “Liar.” It was all lies. Every sugary word, every seemingly genuine sentence. He didn’t mean it. It was all fake. She let go of the ball of paper, and watched it tumble on her bed. The thought of him now being with someone else made jealousy add to the flames. But then longing.
  In an instant she snapped out of the rage, and impulsively reached for the balled up paper, opening it and smoothing it out. It took some time, but eventually all the creases were smoothed out. It wasn’t the same though, it looked mangled, tormented. Like her heart.
  She knew she shouldn’t be looking at it. It was only worsening things. She folded it once and placed it in-between a special two papers she would never forget about.
  Licking her lips, she rose once again making her way to her calendar. In one swift movement she erased the entire month. Just like that.  She scrambled for the marker and rewrote the month, the dates, everything. But it came out sloppy and unjust.