I watched as my father staggered across the kitchen. Shards of glass lay scattered on the floor, unpicked, as the result of another one of his sudden outbreaks. His head lay low, his feet dragged him through the doorway. He held a freshly opened bottle with both his hands wrapped around its neck. I watched from a safe distance, holding my left arm carefully and tight against me. I watched him leave, my heart racing, scared. Quickly, my eyes skimmed past the door. I could leave now. I knew my father well enough to know he'd keep himself hostage in his squalid room for hours, and only come out in some hours once his stomach began craving more trouble. I had time. I walked out to the porch, where the aged wood was already cracking down. I couldn't wait to leave.

In the distance, I watched the familiar boy's figure approach. His outlining showed years of pain and evidence of living in a dilapidated family. It donned a similar story to mine- a burden we both were ready to escape. He stopped at the house three from mine- far enough for my father not to see him from the window. I was scared. I was frightened to death. But I still did it. I took the bags I kept hidden under the decomposing wood, and I walked to him. Quickly. But I knew my father well enough to know he'd have fallen asleep by then. I skipped on my last steps towards the boy and he reached out his hand to grab mine and help take my belongings. My fathers succinct words still rang in my ears. "Don't you leave me. You stay with the ones you love, only the ones you love. That boy is nothing good for you."

As the car drove, I stared out the window, tears streaming down my face. I was driving myself towards an unprecedented journey in life I wasn't sure I was ready for. I felt as the familiar gentle hand protectively passed over my arm, where the blood was drying and the glass remnants struggled to escape or dig deeper. And as much as I was scared, fear replaced my ambiguity. I will never go back, I thought.

I knew what was coming if I was ever found. But I still did it. Because there was only one person I've ever loved. There was only one person who actually cared. "Stay with the ones you love, only the ones you love". And I knew well enough to follow my father's advice.