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Cassidy heard her phone buzz, in instinct she ignored it. It was probably her mom, using her new texting lingo again, something silly most likely. Her phone buzzed once again, she knew it wasn’t her mom; she couldn’t crank out two texts in a row like that. Cassidy finally reached for her phone and looked at the screen. She had two new messages from Austin. Great, she thought; another text from him, just what I need. She opened the first one, it read;
“I would never use my 11:11 wish to get you back, instead I simply wish for you to be happy.”
Does he not remember he broke up with me? She thought. I don’t understand this, maybe he pushes me away because he is afraid of getting hurt again? Cassidy silently asked herself. She sighed out loud.
When she woke up the next morning Cassidy pushed her bleach blond hair away from her face and checked her phone. She knew it had went off shortly after she laid her head down on the pillow and closed her eyes, she hadn’t even bothered to check it last night. She went through the four messages she had received. Three from Austin and one from an old friend back in Chicago.
Austin must have something on his mind, she thought, usually he didn’t text her at night after she didn’t reply to the first one. Strange, definitely strange she thought. She reluctantly opened the first message.
“I’m just going to be brutally honest tonight; I have something I need to tell you. ASAP!”
“Well I need to get this off of my chest, you’re not like any other girl I’ve met, and you’re different somehow. I don’t know how, but you’re different. I know that you have a boyfriend and all and I don’t want to get in the way of that, but I just wanted to say I love you.”
Cassidy clicked end on her phone, she didn’t want to read anymore. She didn’t want to let him crash the walls of her perfect life. No, that just wasn’t possible. She kept reminding herself not to look for him in the halls today, and not to meet up with him like they used to. But that was over a year and a half ago, she kept trying to convince herself that no one would stay in love that long. She just kept attempting to keep the walls of her fortress up. He was like a five year old trying to destroy her ‘tent’ right after she built it up. She had just gotten control of her life back. He couldn’t just come in now and ruin it- that just wasn’t possible. Cassidy wasn’t about to let it happen either.
She walked up to her locker, subconsciously being on alert the whole time.
As soon as she looked in his direction his gaze moved from her to his brand new shoes, simultaneously his face fell. She knew he had just seen everything, and now he was thinking about old times; their times. She didn’t want this. No, she wanted to be happy with Aaron and live happily ever after, but she had been on this earth for 17 years and she knew that that wasn’t about to happen without some obstacles to face first. Austin was one of those many obstacles. Why couldn’t he be like a speed bump? Once you run into those, you move on. But that’s not exactly how Austin worked. He always seemed to want to be the center of attention- her attention. She didn’t like that. Even after they broke up, something clicked off with him, he changed- she was guessing for the worst.
Why me? That thought flashed across her mind yet again.
As Cassidy stepped outside in the brisk February air, she realized for the first time that what she wanted to do was to call someone, anyone. She just wanted to let out all of her feelings, to spill them into someone’s ears that would just listen, not say anything in return. She wanted someone to actually care, someone to pay attention to what she was saying. And she knew just the person to talk to.
Knowing her mom would grill her for an unexpected late arrival home, she decided to walk over to Jennifer’s house anyways. She needed to talk to someone in person, not over the phone. She walked as fast as her brand new Nike’s would allow without receiving blisters on her feet.
She knew that Jennifer wasn’t her best candidate for talking to, but she needed someone else to know what she was going through. Being torn isn’t exactly a helper in logical thinking. When she arrived at Jennifer’s house, no one was there. Maybe I should have texted her first, she thought to herself.
As Cassidy began her trek home, she realized how much she really didn’t like the situation she was in. The last person she wanted to talk to was her mom. She wouldn’t understand anyways. Cassidy sighed out loud.
“Look who the cat dragged in.” Her mom said when Cassidy finally arrived home.
“Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t text you, Jennifer and I had a study group to go to.”
“That’s funny, because Jennifer isn’t in town today.” Cassidy’s mom said with a smug face.
“Well then, I don’t know what to say.” She said as she dashed off in the direction of her room, she knew she wouldn’t get off that easy but it was worth a try.
Mom grabbed my arm,
“Where were you young lady?” She said with a stern look in her eyes that spilled over into her voice.
“I needed someone to talk to, so I decided to go to Jennifer’s house, I didn’t know she was out of town today. There.” Cassidy let out a sigh, and stormed off to her room.
She once again picked up her infamous Blackberry. She couldn’t decide what she wanted to do. Cassidy knew Aaron liked her for who she really was, and she loved his perfect crooked smile. Austin, had too many flaws to mention, but he always put her first – always. But it seems she was always on the back burner with Aaron. Lacrosse always comes first before Cassidy. Hm. She let out another sigh, if anyone would have understood what it meant it would be Austin.
She turned on her computer, she needed something to clear her mind, and old country music would do the trick. She pulled up iTunes, and began searching her files.
The next morning, Cassidy woke up to her alarm clock, at 4:45 am to get dressed, and get ready just like every other teenaged girl in the world. She wanted to be different, she wanted something not seen – but felt. She wanted love. And she knew the only person that could give it to her. She rushed out of the house to find the person she knew and loved.
Fifteen years later, a beaming bride in a glowing white dress – matching her complexion, walked down the aisle to marry her groom – the groom that she loved and longed for. The one for her. Shortly after, they said “I do,” they became Mr. and Mrs. Austin Lee Holder.
Palm Desert, California
Tuckerton, New Jersey
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"When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature." -- Ernest Hemingway "If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write." -- Anais Nin
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