A few months later, a couple a weeks before my own, Jason invited Michael and myself to his wedding with his new love, Scarlet. She was young, about a year or two younger then me, with a belly the size of Texas. She was expecting a baby girl.



It was a small and combined wedding and reception ceremony and the seats were assigned. Jason placed Michael and me in the table with my mama, Mary-Ann and Jacqueline. I hadn’t spoken to mama since my engagement, and this night was no different. She did look beautiful though, with black leggings, a loose purple blouse and flats. Mama has always been a heavier female, but the clothes she wore never put extra pounds on her frame. She was a very fashionable older woman.



Mary-Ann and Jackie wore matching colors; peach and white. Jackie wore a simple flower print dress, while Mary-Ann wore slacks and a blouse. Mary-Ann seemed distracted. It was only right. Hers and Jason’s courtship was not long before she found that she was expecting baby Jackie. To make things worst, she was only sixteen years old and Jason was three years her senior. Fifteen years later, here she was sitting for a wedding where she felt that she was meant to be the bride.



I wore a red tight fitted dress that day with black heels to match my barrette and handbag. My breast were fully covered, but there a v-neck like cut down the back. The dress was very seductive and maybe a bit inappropriate for the occasion. I hadn’t realized until I got to church, when men and women alike began to stop and stare, as they mumbled to themselves. To my defense, I hadn’t been the one to choose the outfit; Michael was.



The ceremony began, and we all stood by our chairs. Scarlet walked in with her father. Her dress was short yet flattering. It was golden in color, with tiny flowers on the train. Her hair was tied in a Victorian style pony-tail. She looked precious.



Her father walked her down the aisle, and the lights of cameras flashed throughout the room. At the end, and before the priest and Jason, her father unveiled her fragile face. There were tears of joy in her eyes. He kissed her gently on her forehead and I can see his lips move. “I love you.” He turned to Jason and said “Take good care of her.” He wiped a single drop from his cheek and found his place next to his wife.



Moments later we all sat down and the ceremony began. As it got closer to the two binding words, Mary-Ann excused herself and walked out of the church. Jacqueline made a motion to follow her mother, but mama tugged on her arm and made her sit back down. “She knew where she was going when she put her shoes on.” Jackie’s eyes focused on the exit door.



Jason and Scarlet kissed their first kiss as man and wife, and we all cheered and saluted. It was a joyous moment for the two of them, and I was happy to be a part of it. Jason had been in more then half of my life and although he and Mary-Ann did not last as a couple, he had always acted as a big brother to me. In my eyes, he was a good man. He was a good father to my niece, and that was all that mattered.



Micheal arrived two hours later. His outfit and odor of booze humiliated me, to say the least. “Where have you been?” I asked him when he stumbled into the chair beside me. He looked at me with a devilish smirk on his face. “I’m here now, ain’t I?” He was drunk. He was stupid. There was no point in arguing. He wore construction boots, raggedy jeans and a white over-sized tee. His fitted cap was on backwards, and his main concern at the time was his plate of food and his cup of red wine.



Mama’s face was full of disappointment. She mumbled a few words to herself but I couldn’t make clear of any of it. Jackie tried to make peace and started to talk about school and of her new friends. Mary-Ann was back at the table then, but she kept her weary eyes on her plate.



Jason walked over to our table. The grin on his face was delightful. He thanked us all for making it and being a part of this special occasion. He leaned to kiss Mary-Ann on the cheek. “You’re my best friend. I love you.” She looked up at him. “I love you too, Jay. I always will.” His smile turned to one of inner guilt. He hugged her tight and she embraced him like she would never be able to let him go. When released, he stood up straight and looked over to Michael and me. He put his hand out to shake Michael’s hand. Michael looked up, cleaned his hand on his pants and shook Jason’s hand loosely. “Nice to finally meet you,” Jason said to him. “I’ve heard plenty.” “I’m sure you have,” Michael replied sarcastically. His mouth full of rice and chicken stew. Jason took one glance at all of us, thanked us again and made his way to the next table to greet and thank the other guests.



After he was done with his meal and his third glass of wine, he turned to me and said “So how many of them in here have you slept with?” Mary-Ann and mama dropped their jaws. “Excuse me?” Mary- Ann said to him. “Excuse me, but I was talking to her.” He replied. Mary-Ann let out a laugh. She looked at me and with her eyes she said ‘check your man.” “Michael,” I said to him. “This is not the time or the place for your foolishness.” “Answer the question.” His voice was stern now. “How many of them in here have you f***ed?” Mama threw her fork down to her plate. “Watch your mouth. There is child present.”



He stared at mama for a moment. He glanced over at Jackie and then to Mary-Ann. He stood up, grabbed my handbag and said “It’s time to go.” I looked down, embarrassed. I stood up and stood beside him. I pushed my chair in. “She better not,” I heard mama say to Mary-Ann. I’d be stupid not to know that she was talking about me. I could feel the eyes of my niece burning my body. I looked up at her. Jackie looked to be the most disappointed in my reaction to the whole ordeal. I smiled at her, and started to pull my chair back out.



“You can go if you want,” I said to Michael still looking into Jackie’s eyes. “But I’m gonna stay with my family.” He grabbed my arm and tugged hard at it. “I wasn’t asking you.” He said to me. “It is time to go.” Mary-Ann stood up and told him to get his hands off of me. She was yelling and hollering nasty things and before I knew it, Jason and about three men were standing right before me. Two of the men grabbed Michael and took him outside. I started to cry and had to have apologized to Jason and his new wife a million times.



A little while after he was kicked out of the reception, mama grabbed her things. “I’ll see you on Sunday,” she said to Mary-Ann. She gave a kiss to Jackie and walked out. I knew she hadn’t approved of Michael originally and this day was the icing on the cake. I couldn’t find words to say to her. I didn’t even bother to try and say good bye. She did not look at me. She just up and left.



Mary-Ann took me home that night. In the car, she tried to convince me to just let her take me to her house. “At least for the night, Mel.” She pleaded. “Until things blow over between the two of you.” “It’s okay,” I said to my sister; half believing my own words, half hoping. “Look,” I pointed to the driveway. “He ain’t even here.” She looked at the time. It was three o’clock in the morning.



I opened the door slowly, peaked my head inside, took a step inside and turned on the light. I turned towards Mary-Ann and waved. She blew me a kiss. I smiled and blew one right back to her. She made a gesture for me to call her and I nodded. Finally, I closed and locked the door behind me. I walked through the living room, almost in a tip-toe. I caught myself Looking at every corner and shadow I passed; my heart was racing and I was unsure why. I made my way into the bedroom, turned on the light and peaked inside. I was not sure what I was looking or waiting for. I walked into the kitchen, then. I opened the fridge and grabbed a glass of water. I drank it slowly, still waiting for something to happen. About a half an hour later, I finally tucked myself into bed. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.



There was a loud noise. It came from the living room and I remember that it made me jump almost clear off of my bed. I pulled the covers close to me and stood still for a moment. From the skyline, I would guess that it was about five or six in the morning. I could hear hard footsteps getting closer to my bedroom door. I could feel my heart beating in my neck and head. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought to myself “I am going to die.”



The door opened and all I could see was a shadow of a man. He did not say a word; neither did I. One slow step at a time, the man came closer to me. He began to undress himself. I continued to cry as he pulled the covers off of me and climbed on top of my body. “Why are you doing this to me?” I asked through my tears. He did not answer me. He continued to have his way with me as I cried and eventually stopped trying to fight him off. When he was done, he rolled off and unto his side of the bed. I laid there ashamed and wept quietly. He turned to me and said “I love you, baby.” Before he began to snore, I responded. “I love you too.”