I knew he would never accept it. It was supposed to be something we would be together. I never expected him to be okay with it. And of course, I was right.

“Nelly,” he said, in a tone I knew all too well-the tone that means ‘absolutely not’.

“It’s supposed to make us closer,” I whispered, trying to sound convincing.

“We can’t. What would your parents think?”

“That we’re freaks… But who cares? When you’re in love, you don’t think with your head, you think with your heart. Isn’t that what you said?” He bit his lip meaning I had made my point. “See? Please, Blake, it’ll only take a few minutes.” When he didn’t agree I said again, “Please. I want us to be closer than ever. And with this, we will be…we have to be.”

“It won’t just take ‘a few minutes’. This will take days and days of preparation and I don’t know if I’ll be able to…hold myself back.” There was a pain in his eyes when he said this. I didn’t want to make him relive his worst nightmare, but what choice did I have? He was being completely stubborn.

“Look, forget about what happened back in London. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes it does!” His voice was harsh and accusing. “I hurt you. And I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Blake… You didn’t hurt me.”

“Yes I did,” he said, a little more calmly this time. “I couldn’t stop myself. I will not put you through that again. I…I can’t.” He looked away from me and I moved to be in his view again.

“You are one of the good guys. You don’t have to pretend like you’re not.” I took his cheek in my hand and made him look at me. “Blake. I love you. And I know you love me enough to stop yourself. Please. You can do this, I know you can.”

He was silent for a little while and then he took my hand and led me over to his bed. We sat down and he looked at me, his eyes quickly going red with hunger. I knew he thought this would scare me but it didn’t, not even in the least. I wanted to be just like him, needed to be just like him. I couldn’t touch him or even look at him without feeling that we were too different. And since I wasn’t ready to give him up just yet, this was our only alternative.

As I waited for the sting of what was to come, I thought about my parents. What would they think when I didn’t come home tonight? Or the next night, or…ever really? Would they just automatically assume I was dead, or would they come look for me? Or would they just not even care? It was most likely going to be the third option because, well, they never cared. I had once stayed with Blake for a whole week, came home, and it was like nothing even happened, like they didn’t even know I had stayed away from home for that long. Of course, it wasn’t a home anymore.

Blake leaned forward and I flinched when his fangs protruded my neck. The start of the Changing process was long and boring, but then I started to feel…exhilarated? Invincible? No, I don’t think those are the words for it. I don’t think there even is a word for it. I felt like anything or anyone that wanted to hurt him or me had to hurt both of us for the other to give up… Does that make sense? Oh well.

I think I started to black out after a little while, like I was losing too much blood.

“Blake,” I said, “stop.” And whether it was of his own will or my voice, I couldn’t tell, but he stopped. I looked at him and smiled, dazedly. I didn’t look at this like it was the end of my old life, but like it was the beginning of my new one. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said.

And then I passed out…