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And of course...I believe you.
"Go out with me Friday." He smiles. I stare up at him. Was he really serious? I hanged out with him more often since the first time he talked to me about his ex and my brother. We were walking and we lingered into the forest near my house and found our own little area that we started to visit on a daily basis.We sat under our tree and I was still staring at him. Throughout our time together I realized he knew a little about me. He knew my favorite color. Or he couldve guessed alot of girls like purple. "No you just wear alot of it." He smiled. I shook my head not believeing that because my brother was seeing his girlfriend he'd ask me out. I shook my head no. He cocked his head to the side something I was starting to notice that he did often. "No?" I smiled. "Only because its all not real." He smiled and leaned into me.His lips just inches from mine. "But it is." And he kissed me. Of course I stayed there like an idiot. Truthfully, that was my first kiss. I was 17 and that was my first kiss.First kiss. Your supposed to go back and think of that moment and say "Oh my god I can't believe he was my first kiss" But I go back and say "That was an amazing moment." I'm supposed to say that to our friends while you sit next to me. After that kiss of course I had to say yes to you asking me out. You took me to the aquarium because you knew that was my favorite place in the whole world. And you laughed when I freaked out because you somehow pulled strings with the manager and I got to touch a penguin. I told you I always wanted to touch one and it was in my book of goals. After I finally shut up about how cute the penguin was you said you wanted to make all my dreams come true. I blushed but went on talking about how fuzzy the baby penguin was. I think I almost cried thats how happy I was. Then we to the diffrent kinds of jellyfishes and I poked the top of one. You said you werent putting your hand in water that fishes pee in. We started laughing and the pregnant lady stared at us. You quickly covered my mouth and walked me towards the turtles. I licked your hand so you could move and and you laughed and wiped it on your pants. "Your lips are wet." You say and before I respond you kiss me again. And when I smile you pull away. "I like that." You say. And I knew I loved you. I was hopelessly in love with you. You smiled and pointed to a huge turtle and said "That could eat my dog." And so I laughed because it probably could.
I sit across from you now as you tell me what you did and suddenly everything we've been through doesnt even matter anymore. And I fear I cant take it. I ignore everything you say and just stare past you. I keep my military bearing and not move. I have to say ROTC was one of the best subjects that I took in high school. My chief tried warning me about guys like you. He would say " These guys sit here and tell you they love you and the when you fight over them their with their friends laughing at you." Or he would say "What are these boys going to do for you? They have no car, they have no Job.What can they do? And I realize as I sit infront of you he was right. You are no good for me. You tell me she may be pregnant but she's not sure. Were 19 years old and engaged and you tell me that last month you cheated on me and now she's possibly pregnant. Oh but wait! It might not be yours. Because that makes a diffrence.Because it might not be yours it makes it alright that you cheated on me.Ha, I could almost laugh.But I don't. "Talk to me, Lizzy.Please." You beg. And so since you beg I break my bearing and I look you in the eyes. And the strong athletic guy I saw in you this morning is suddenly gone. Vanished into thin air. I lick my already wet lips and say "Okay." Because I have nothing to say. Im hurt,I want to cry.But then again Im mad because you lied to me. You told me you were somewhere else when you were really at her house.And you were probably being romantic with her like you were with me.This was bad. A bad romance. You'd say all these things to make me want you and then purpously say something stupid to mess it up and cause me to laugh. And then you'd pick me up gently and lay me in the middle of the bed. Did you do that to her? Did you tell her ' You look beautiful today,sweetheart.' Did you even call her 'Sweetheart or love?' The sweet names you called me everyday. Did you wake up her in your arms and say 'Goodmorning,sweetheart' like you did with me every morning? I wanted to say forget it,forget us Im leaving but I cant. Because like that day in the aquarium I remembered Im hopelessly in love with. I had to look at the plus side of this. She may not even BE pregnant, and if she was it most likely isnt yours. It could always be my brothers.
So now your kneeling infornt of me begging me one last time to forgive you and apologizing over and over again saying you made a huge mistake and you promise you'll never do something so foolish again. And of course...I believe you.
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