Reveille | Teen Ink

Reveille

September 23, 2009
By ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments

I’m going to die soon.


These were the five words your pretty little mouth would utter every time you wanted something very badly. I didn’t know that when I first met you. All I thought—being a silly 15-year-old teenage guy—was that you were one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen in my life. Do you remember? I was hanging around the beach with my friends when I saw you swimming out in the open blue sea, wearing that white and red polka-dotted one-piece. Later on when I asked, you grimaced and said you hated polka dots—they made you look fat. I didn’t say it that time but I think you looked just right. It’s already been five months since then and I got to know a lot about you. Your favorite color is orange, warm and bright just like your smile. Why don’t you smile anymore? You like frilly and fuzzy stuff, although you don’t want to admit it. You’re filthy rich. You’re a spoiled brat. You scrunch up your nose—in a cute way—whenever it itches. And you’re going to die in three weeks.


That’s the most horrible thing. I only learned about it a week ago when I overheard your family doctor talking to your parents. Your dad sounded grim and your mother sounded like she would faint any minute. I wanted to barge right into the room and tell him he was making a huge mistake. But that wouldn’t change anything, would it? You knew it yourself.


Right now, I’m watching you from the window of your mansion. You’re in the garden arguing with your dad. Things aren’t going your way again. You’re tired of your wheelchair, you say, and you want the brand new model that you saw on TV last night. Your dad keeps shaking his head, saying it’ll just be a waste of money and he’s almost successful in refusing—until you say those five hateful words again: “I’m going to die soon.”


I want to scream. I want to run to you, grab your shoulders and shake some sense into you. My 3rd grade teacher used to repeat over and over again: “If you think you’re going to lose, then you really will.” I want to shout those words to you right now, because you’ve obviously accepted the fact that you’re going to die. I haven’t yet, so please don’t give up. Stop saying those words. They’re starting to appear in my nightmares, torturing me, reminding me of how short my time with you is. I want to get mad at you for giving up so soon, but I can’t. I want to—your head suddenly turns in my direction as if you heard what I was thinking. Now you’re smiling mischievously and rolling your chair towards the door, towards me. Why are you smiling? Why only now? A lump is forming in my throat. I take back what I thought before—you’re not one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen—no, you’re at the top of the list.


I decide to say them now: those three words that no 15-year-old guy would ever seriously dare to say. Even though you’re the most spoiled brat I’ve ever met. Even though you told me you had a crush on that lifeguard at the beach. Even though you’ll probably laugh at me and tell me I’m being ridiculous. Even though my chest is pounding and I can feel the blood rushing to my head. So I say them. Those three little words that have been in my mind ever since the day I met you. Your jaw drops open and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. I hang my head, feeling my face get hot and my palms get sweaty as I stare at the cold green marble floor. Then I hear your reply. And I raise my head slowly to see if I heard right. Sure enough, your cheeks are as red, if not redder than mine. You come closer, maneuvering your wheelchair, tears in your eyes. I bend down and gently press my lips to your forehead, still dazed by your unexpected reply. We’re lost in our own little world, unaware of the servants and your parents staring at us from different viewpoints. As I pull you closer, memorizing the warmth of your body, I hear you vow never to say those five words again. Now all we can do is pray for a miracle.

The author's comments:
Well, this is my first piece on the site.. The style isn't really original but at the time I thought it up, I guess I didn't really think of anything else. I just let the words flow.. I guess the idea isn't all that original either but still.. Hope you like it!! Please comment if there's anything you wanna say..

Thanks a lot!!!

=me

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This article has 69 comments.


on Oct. 10 2011 at 8:02 pm
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always darkest before the dawn." ~Florence and the Machine

Ikr!!! I agree with that completely!!! What a great story!!! I can't say anything else, I am just too speechless. But I can say this: Great. Job. Please. Keep. Writing!!!!!!:):):);)

on Oct. 10 2011 at 3:53 pm
boomawang63 SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Wow....breathtaking.  Horribly tragic if she dies, but still absolutely beautiful.

on Oct. 9 2011 at 3:48 pm
Rainbowmadhatter, Reno, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 81 comments

yes you should totally continue on this...please do..id loooovvve to klnow what happens next..

until then

_Monkeyface:)


on Aug. 27 2011 at 7:14 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

Completely agreed :)

on Aug. 27 2011 at 7:11 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

Oh my...that was truly amazing..what a gorgeous piece!! I loove this!! And I have a feeling I'd like you too :)

-Duckie- GOLD said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 3:29 pm
-Duckie- GOLD, West Fargo, North Dakota
18 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your heart is a weapon the size of your fist. Keep fighting. Keep loving.
-Anonymous

Superb! You have good voice... it ended rather suddenly but I almost liked that because I hope she doesn't die. Even thoguh she's a spoiled brat and all that.

on Aug. 5 2011 at 12:56 pm
NKsunshine BRONZE, Palatine, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't need easy, I just need possible!" ~Bethany Hamilton

Utterly Breathtaking....:)

TheBug BRONZE said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 11:38 pm
TheBug BRONZE, Uniontown, Kentucky
3 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh look at that!" Then- whoosh, and I'm gone...and they'll never see anything like it ever again... and they won't be able to forget me- ever."- Jim Morrison

Wow. This is utterly amazing..

on Jun. 12 2011 at 12:47 pm
firelord SILVER, Queensbury, New York
8 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost

When you said "Reveille" did you mean "Reveille-toi?" That's the way to say Wake Up in French, its a reflexive verb so it needs the toi. Btw, great story :)

on Apr. 17 2011 at 2:32 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

What d'ya mean it's not original? If I could I would rate it 6 stars!!!! :D

alibi SILVER said...
on Dec. 6 2010 at 1:58 pm
alibi SILVER, Corry, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm always positive, except when I'm not."

that's really good. is there a sequel? the only thing is you don't give your characters names, which kinda de-personalizes them. other than that, awesome.

on Sep. 9 2010 at 8:14 pm
HippieNamedAnna PLATINUM, Kansas City, Missouri
21 articles 7 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let It Be-The Beatles
Music is the only thing that makes sense any more-Me
Make love, not war-a bunch of people
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you-Me :)

this is amazing! at first instead of "grab you by your shoulders" i thought you said stab you by your shoulders! haha. i guess im a natural blonde for a reason. can you check out some of my stuff? especialy "Imagine" thanks! you did great!

ps13795 SILVER said...
on Aug. 18 2010 at 2:11 pm
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Reveille means wake-up signal or wake-up call, right? So I guess I wanted to show that the guy was a "wake-up call" for the girl to not take her life for granted and have the desire to live. Something like that. :D

on Aug. 18 2010 at 9:26 am
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

why is this called reveille?

on Jul. 27 2010 at 11:19 am
Annabelle294 SILVER, Branford, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 64 comments
This is so sweet, and  i love hearing it from the guy's perspective.

CLC93 said...
on Jul. 5 2010 at 11:24 am
This is really good. It's actually really original. I liked it alot. :D I wonder why you titled it Reveille?

CLC93 said...
on Jul. 5 2010 at 11:23 am
This is really good! I like it alot and it's actually very original. Thanks for writing this. :D

CLC93 said...
on Jul. 5 2010 at 11:22 am
This is reallyy really good. And actually it's very original. I like it alot! :D thanks for writing this.

on Jun. 13 2010 at 9:20 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was so great!  Very pretty, and honestly, I think that you made it original.  You're an awesome writer!:)

Anyone who sees this, could you comment on my work?  I'd really appreciate it.


on May. 22 2010 at 9:42 pm
weebnini DIAMOND, San Diego, California
55 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Done & Over"

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouth."

aww! i like how you don't really say the "words". its just so like, idk? pretty. lol. i like it:)