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Lights
I walk up the door that holds him safely in there. He usally always comes back to see me from, I don't know where. When he is gone, I am forced to be alone. As i reach the top of the stairs where the door sits and waits for me to knock, I see no sign of a light in the house. I hope to soon see a light. I walk around his dark house until, after a long walk around a big dark house, I see a dim light. I look further too see any sign of him possible. Finnaly, I see him looking at me through the window. I am so excited that I almost forget why I was there.
He starts running down the stars while I run up them to him. Then, we kissed. When we broke from each other, we started talking about what happend when we were apart. I was about to ask him where he goes when he isn't here, but i didn't get a chance.
I left his house with a smile on my face. Sadly, I never went back to his house ever again. I'm not sure why. To this day, I still miss him a lot.
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This article has 23 comments.
It's nice and very sweet. A few suggestions, if you wish to expand on this piece, would be:
1. Add more detail. Why does the main character feel this way about him?
2. How does he feel when they're not together?
3. Was she filled with adrenaline / excitment when she saw him running towards her?
Spice it up a little, but don't spice it up SO MUCH that there isn't a plot towards it.
Other than that, wonderful piece, and I know you'll get better with time. (:
This was nice, just some grammar mistakes, and you might want to elaborate a bit. Still, great job. Keep writing!
Btw, anyone who sees this, will you check out and comment on my work?