Intensity | Teen Ink


June 13, 2009
By Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

The tears poured off her eyelids; slid down her cheeks; fell to the floor. Slowly she sank to the ground, trembling slightly. Her breath came in deep sobs, wracking her chest. She barely had enough air. She did not hear the soft footfalls coming ever closer. She did not see him as he sat down next to her. She did, however, feel as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Turning slightly, the girl buried her face in his shoulder. Her friend held her tighter, resting his head in her soft chestnut curls.

The two of them sat that way for what felt like hours; the girl sobbing loudly on the boy’s shoulder, the boy holding her quietly, steadfastly. Finally, the girl released her last tear. She looked up at the boy, eyes red from crying, cheeks flushed. He turned to her, a small crooked smile on his lips. To the girl’s surprise, tears were slipping down his face as well. “Why are you crying?” she asked softly, voice cracking. The boy considered the question for a second.

“I am crying because you are crying,” he replied truthfully as yet another tear trickled down his handsome face. His smile was still there, unwavering.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back at her. A chill like an electric current flowed through both of them. The air around them tingled with static. Slowly, as if pulled by some invisible force, the two teenagers moved closer. Their faces were within a hair’s breath of each other’s. “Why me?” she whispered. “Why did you choose me?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking for an answer written on his face. “You are the only one who’s real. The only one out of all those girls who knows what it means to truly love someone. Even though he broke your heart, you just keep going. I like that. I think… I think I may even love that.”

His eyes gleamed with a passion long suppressed. “I think I may love you.” His sweet breath lingered on her lips. The girl’s heart began to beat frantically, as if trying to keep up with her rapidly changing emotions. “I think I may love you too,” she admitted.

Without meaning to, the girl shut her eyes. The two leaned even closer, closing the gap between them. His soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his arms coiled around her waist. The kiss deepened.

Gently, they pulled apart. Both were smiling softly. “Thank you,” the girl said under her breath, so quiet that the boy sitting right next to her wasn’t sure he had heard her at first.

“For what?” She stared deeply into his eyes. He held her gaze, reciprocating the intensity. “For giving me a reason to live again. For saving me from falling.”

“Anytime. Thank you, too. Thanks for letting me in. Thanks for not pushing me away.”

At the same time, the two teenagers said, “I love you,” sealing their fate.

The two leaned in closer, their foreheads, then lips, pressing against the other’s.

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This article has 377 comments.

Becca17 GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 10:05 am
Becca17 GOLD, Belleville Ontario, Other
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Seven Deadly Sins:
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Detail was amazing. It's like the story was literally right there in front of me! Put this much description into all stories you write and you'll an amazing author!

on Mar. 26 2011 at 1:51 am
heiwagirl SILVER, Enumclaw, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
You just have to live your life not careing what they think and just shake off the drama and prove to them that you are better than they think you are.

I loved every bit of it so beautiful.


Sandra said...
on Mar. 15 2011 at 10:03 pm
I love your details in your story! Your details gave me a clear picture and it felt like I was there!

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Mar. 6 2011 at 3:02 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

okay, sorry guys, but I don't really have too much time lately, so personally thanking every person is starting to become a challenge XD But I do read and appreciate all comments! :) I hope you liked this, and I hope you read some of my more reccent work (this was from two, almost three years ago now.  And I'd like to hope my writing style has improved a bit since then XD)
Thank you everyone <333

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Mar. 6 2011 at 2:58 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Thank you!

Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Mar. 6 2011 at 2:57 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Thank you all very much for your opinions!! I appreciate it, and I'll be sure to work on that for future pieces. :3

on Mar. 4 2011 at 5:14 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"

This is cute, though there's something about the writing style that I find to be lacking.

You are very good with description and imagery, keep up the good work :)

on Mar. 4 2011 at 2:57 pm
jenniraffe BRONZE, Springfield, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind--Dr. Suess

i love this. this is great! keep writing!check out my work if you want.

my only article so far is romance fiction called "My Favorite Picture"

on Mar. 4 2011 at 8:05 am
TheUnknownTeenager7 SILVER, Ellinwood, Kansas
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Im selfish, impatiant and a little insecure. I make mistakes and at times hard to control. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

This story is adorable! I love it!

on Feb. 27 2011 at 8:33 pm
musicprincess PLATINUM, Braselton, Georgia
23 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need

I LOVE THIS!!! You're writing style is absolutlely fabulous.

on Feb. 24 2011 at 10:39 am
Jazzalyn BRONZE, Hortense, Georgia
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”

I LOVE your story!! Is this somethign that really happened to you?!

DanicaPage said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 8:24 pm
DanicaPage, Pleasant Grove, Utah
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~Confucious

I definitely like this story. Excellent work. I enjoyed your writing style.

As for being rushed, I don't necessarily agree with those comments.

You were vague (a good thing). We don't know how long they have known each other or anything like that.

I loved the emotion contained within this piece. Keep up the good work!

on Feb. 10 2011 at 6:17 pm
a.singlenote SILVER, Little, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
The truest beauty in the world is exsquisite and makes your heart ache with something that you can't name.

Agreed, man.

on Feb. 10 2011 at 2:40 pm
Bianca Santisteban BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
Wow, this is realistic. I can see this happening between two people who love each other. That's amazing :) I love this!

smith said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:46 am
wonderful....keep up the good work.

on Feb. 10 2011 at 8:31 am
bigdreamsbigheart PLATINUM, Ypsilanti, Michigan
35 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"When I stand before god I want to have no talent left so I can say,\\\"I used everything you gave me\\\"\\\"

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G....Keep writing. And the title is perfect for the story.

Check mine out please :)


on Jan. 31 2011 at 4:11 pm
Satyn.Rose SILVER, Oilmont, Montana
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope." ~Renee Yohe of To Write Love On Her Arms the point...and wonderful.

on Jan. 21 2011 at 10:56 am
PrettyPurplePen, Axson, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I have to agree. This story was a little much. It came on too strong for me.

Saika PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 4:48 pm
Saika PLATINUM, Durango, Colorado
21 articles 48 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love and Tolerate every person, pony, and brony <3

lol! (see below) its a great story! hmm... try putting it in one of their perspectives.. i wonder what it'd be like! :3 i would love to see a sequel or an extended version of it! keep on writing! :D

on Jan. 19 2011 at 4:47 pm
dara_elizabeth BRONZE, Nunya City, New Jersey
1 article 1 photo 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Hate is easy. Love takes courage."-Unknown