It was October 9th, 2019. Shelby had moved to a new school in a new city. She had always been the new kid since she did move a lot. She wasn’t really social but she was very nice and not judgmental. Shelby was nervous because she didn’t like being judged about anything. There was someone at her school that she had her eyes on, and that was Rebeca. Rebeca strangely looked like Shelby, brown eyes, long brown hair, and they were even the same race. But they were nowhere near like each other. Rebeca was known for having a cool football boyfriend, and she was the popular mean girl. Even though Rebeca was pretty rude, she was often sad a lot and Shelby noticed that.

     Even though Shelby and Rebeca weren’t the same, Shelby thought she would at least try and talk to Rebeca, and ask if everything was okay. Rebeca and Shelby became close friends after Rebeca found out that her “cool football boyfriend” had cheated on her, and they had mutual friends which made them even closer. After about a month, Rebeca expressed her feelings for Shelby, and Shelby felt the same exact way about Rebeca. They eventually started dating, and it was Rebeca’s first girlfriends but not Shelby’s. The relationship started off really good. They laughed, watched movies together, and they just enjoyed being in each others presence.

After being together for a couple months, things took an awful turn. Rebeca started being mean to Shelby, and Shelby didn’t know why. She even started calling Shelby names such as “stupid” and “dumb”, which really surprised Shelby because Rebeca had never been that mean before. Their relationship tend to bring a lot of arguments over little things, and would often turn into Shelby crying. This started to put Shelby in a bad place, and things started to be difficult for her. No one knew but Shelby was self harming before she met Rebeca, and she stopped until Rebeca started treating her horribly. Shelby started self harming really bad, and would do it a lot. she was already going through a lot, even her home life was a mess. She wasn’t okay, but always found a way to smile.        

       Rebeca wouldn’t stop treating Shelby so bad, and people would tell Shelby to leave but she couldn’t. Rebeca was the only person Shelby had, and the only person who “knew” her. She got attached really fast and couldn’t stop herself. She emotionally and mentally was attached to Rebeca. Rebeca soon had found out about Shelby’s self-harm, and was beyond shocked. She got mad at Shelby but Shelby couldn’t control it. She had become addicted to hurting herself, like it was a drug.

        It had been over a year since they first had met and it brought tears to their eyes, mainly because they were so different from how they were a year ago. They both looked backed on a bunch of memories, thinking it would be good again. Shelby took it way harder than Rebeca, because Shelby was the one getting mentally and emotionally abused. It had been fall at that time, and they both entered high school. They had said they would always stick by each other’s side, but Shelby was tired. She was tired of all the crying and arguing. It became too much to handle for Shelby at the time. They took a break for a while thinking it would help, but it only made things worse. Eventually they got back together, but it wasn’t right, and it didn’t feel the same. Shelby was head over heels with Rebeca. She loved and cared about her so much.  Rebeca would say she loved Shelby but Shelby didn’t feel loved. She didn’t feel appreciated, she felt very unlovable, and she didn’t even know what to do.

     Despite the fact that Shelby had lots of problems, she always found a way to be there for Rebeca. She was the person that loved Rebeca endlessly. Rebeca was also struggling with self-harm, and which its never easy because you never know when they’re going to do it. They both did unhealthy things, but relied on each other for help and comfort. They made a cute couple and their friends would tell them that they were soulmates, but they never saw how their relationship was behind closed doors.

Soon after that moment, Shelby cried and cried. She thought things were going to get better eventually, but she came to find out that Rebeca liked her friend. After finding out about them, her heart completely broke. She had never felt more embarrassed, and her heart was so heavy. Shelby could feel her heart being broken. Rebeca left Shelby, but Rebeca had promised that she would never leave. Rebeca talked a lot about Shelby in a way, and when Shelby found out it only made her push herself to attempting to end her life. As her cold bloody body spoke, she thought her pain was finally over.

   Shelby felt no reason to live, she didn’t know what she did to deserve any of that. She felt hopeless, her attempt gladly didn’t work and she was still alive. She didn’t like the idea of being alive still, but she couldn’t do anything but just try again. She didn’t try again, but she turn her problems onto drugs and alcohol. She was so lost and devastated. After a couple of months, Rebeca tries to get back with Shelby, but she couldn’t go through that again. She spent so many nights crying and hurting herself over what happened. she wanted to hate Rebeca but she didn’t have the heart to do that. Shelby lost over 20 pounds because of what happened. Shelby’s mom even exclaimed “ wow omg Shelby you look sick” she was lost, she lost lots of friends because she isolated herself, she lost her spark, she wasn’t nice anymore, and she was all alone. She had become the person she would’ve never thought she’d become. It scared her and it started to worry her family too. It wasn’t fair that Shelby had to go through this horrible heartbreak. She wanted to be okay, she wanted to smile again. She wanted Rebeca to love her the way she loved her. A lot of people told Shelby that Rebeca was never going to change, but they didn’t know Rebeca the way Shelby did. Shelby had uncovered layers that Rebeca had upon herself. Shelby knew how Rebeca acted, how she was, what she liked, what she didn’t like, well she thought she did.

    After 9 months of pure heartbreak, Shelby seemed to get better. She got more joyful and she gained her weight back. She started getting her spark back also. She had cut out Rebeca from her life completely, and she started loving herself. Shelby needed to love herself in order for her to stop feeling the way she did. No matter how many times they tried to work things out with each other, they knew they were never going to work out. Although they were all they had at times and they had cheerful moments together, it was time to let go.