“What is love?”

“How could she?”

“How can I saw off my hand without going into shock and bleeding out?”

These are just some of the questions Nick asked himself as he walked down the road from Eve’s house to his. It was these very questions that made Nick Lewis wish for a simpler time in life where he was young and in love, back when he didn’t contemplate self-mutilation, and his girlfriend wasn’t a cannibal. Times like this morning for example.

“She’s the one, Will.”

“You’ve known her for a month, Nick.”

“Well she’s only been here a month, and already we can’t stop talking to each other!”

“So like the last six you’ve dated?”

“She’s different.”

“Uh huh. Listen, you know I love you buddy, but let’s face it. You’re an attention whore who dives in waaaaaay to quickly and has to rely on people like me to pull you out when you end up drowning.”

“I … I just want something like you and Lizzy have.”

“I know man, but that’s gotta come naturally. You gotta give it time.”

“Ugh, thanks mom. I know all that stuff already.”

“Just be careful, man. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

That evening Nick took the same road from his house that he took every day to Eve’s home. Five short blocks to the love of his life, he would think to himself. He had to walk of course; with his mother’s MS, his father always working, and his brother always out, so he had to walk. Nick never minded, though; it gave him a chance to think and let his ADD mind wander. He thought about his conversation with Will and about Will’s comment that he was an attention whore. Which made Nick think of himself as a baby and a story his mother once told him:

“When you were a little baby and Papa and Great -grandma Beth were living with us, I had to take care of all three of you by myself, since your father was constantly working. Most days I would be too busy to take care of everyone, so I would have to leave you in your crib for an hour or two. You cried at first of course, but after awhile I would come to the crib to find you sitting there quietly smiling with your legs through the bars. Your legs grew stronger, and before I knew it you were already walking. It always made me proud to see how independent you were.”

As he came close to his destination Nick’s excitement increased ten-fold; after all tonight was special. Tonight Eve had a surprise for Nick. She wouldn’t say what it was, but Nick had a feeling he wouldn’t be disappointed.

“I’m a cannibal.”

“Ooooh, does that make me your sexy Clarice?”

“I’m serious.”

“Oh I bet you are.”

Eve responded to this sarcastic comment with a concerned look and a hand in Nick’s hand.

“W-What?” Nick finally let out after a long pause with a half-hearted smile, still believing the statement to be a joke.

“Listen, what I’m about to tell you I’ve never told anyone else … my family and I kill and eat people.” She said this confession with a deep feeling of shame in her voice. The joke was beginning to overstay its welcome. “Eve … um, what are you talking about?” It was not like Eve to take a joke this far.

A long silence filled the room. Finally, Eve broke it. “I can’t help who I am! I’m so sorry.” Eve started to cry.

“Eve, what the hell are you talking about?” Nick asked as he held her. All humor had left Nick’s voice; it had been replaced by confusion and queasiness. For the next hour or so, Eve explained to Nick how she and her family became cannibals, and why they had to move here a month prior (involving several incidents with noisy neighbors).

“And that’s not all …”

“What do you mean that’s not all?!”

“We’ve been dating for a month now, and I really like you. I want this to go further but I need you to do something for me … I need you to give me your hand.”

“M-my hand? What exactly do you mean by my hand?”

“I need you to cut it off and bring it to me. It’s the only way I’ll truly know you’re committed to me. I understand if you aren’t sure right now so I’ll give you a day to think it over. I love you, Nick.”

Not much was said after that. What could you say to such a revelation? “That’s okay honey, I’m a cannibal too” or “This old hand? Well I’ve been meaning to get rid of it for years now … oh wait, no I haven’t, because I’m a normal human being who doesn’t eat members of his own species!” Regardless, Nick walked home. Confused, he tried to contemplate his current situation in life. He felt tired and worn out from this thing he called love.

“What is love?” He asked himself. He knew what it was supposed to be, of course. People devoting themselves to each other and caring for one another. He loved Eve, or at least he thought he did. How could she? How could she betray him like this? Was this even betrayal? It certainly felt like it. Anger filled his thoughts. He felt confused. He couldn’t comprehend why anyone would actually ask for a dismembered limb – especially the limb of a person you love.

Surely his mother never did this with his father. His parents had met at one of his father’s shows. His father, Mike, was a bass player. He dreamed of being a rock star, and living a life of fame and admiration. Nick’s mother, Melanie, didn’t have time to dream. Her mother had walked out on her family, and it was Melanie’s job to take care of everyone. All Melanie really wished for was happiness. Supposedly, it was love at first sight. On their first date, Mike gave Melanie a small Winnie the Pooh doll that she loved. They were married three months later and soon Nick’s older brother, Noah, came along. Nowadays Mike runs his own pest control business, and Melanie stays home due to Multiple Sclerosis. To Nick, it seemed like they would be better off with other people or pursuing other wants in life. If this is what love wanted for him,
it would be sorely mistaken. And so Nick
decided he would have to break things off with Eve; he liked being with her, but this was too much. No one should have to give up a literal piece of themselves for something like love. But just as his mind seemed to reach a consensus, an overwhelming sense of fear took over.

“Without her, I’ll be alone.”

Alone. Nick’s biggest fear right above heights and Freddy Krueger. “So this is it,” he thought. “This is why people do it.”

The following morning came, and Eve awoke to the sound of pebbles hitting her window. She opened her room to the outside world to find a familiar face waiting for her. Nick was smiling. As she looked down, Eve could see that in his right hand he held a shoebox.