I had a dangerously huge crush on Simon Idrisson. He was handsome, nice, smart, and ridiculously funny. But he wasn't the corny type of funny, he had this lewd sense of humor that should've made me feel uncomfortable and disgusted by him, instead it caused my attraction for him to increase every time he made a joke. Maybe it was the way his infectious laugh filled the room whenever he made a crude joke, or maybe it was the way he made my palms sweat when he glanced at me with his charming and mischievous smile. Throughout high school, I never found myself being more attracted to someone as much I was attracted to Simon. He was not just the hottest guy in 12th grade, but he was the hottest guy in school. I didn't think he knew I existed until he started talking to me in Mrs. Smith's AP literature class. Literature was one subject that I excelled in at school so my teachers would place me in challenging and advanced classes. As a result, most of my literature classes were with upperclassman.
  Being the only sophomore in a class with mostly juniors and seniors was interesting. I didn't socialize much with any upperclassmen because I was socially awkward and did not know how to start a casual conversation if my life depended on it. I guess that’s why I was so confused when Simon randomly sat next to me in the front of the class and just stared at me. I was working on the classwork that Mrs.Smith assigned the class to do when I felt someone looking at me through the corner of my eye. I slowly turned my head and was met with Simon's dark brown eyes and mischievous smile. I could feel my palms drowning in sweat. "Hey, what’s up?" He asked me, never losing his smile. I was so nervous, I didn't want to say something that would make him think I was boring so I simply looked at him and said, "The ceiling". It kind of just came out, I immediately regretted it. What if he thought that was corny? Or lame? Fortunately for me, he chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully, "Well yea, but what’s up with you? Are you always this quiet?” he asked me. I attempted to smile warmly but it probably came off as an awkward smile as I responded, "Well, I don't really talk to anyone and nobody really talks to me". Simon held his gaze with his sultry dark brown eyes and smiled, "I'm talking to you right now". His effortless charm and allure made me incredibly nervous but at the same time, the fact that he was trying to be friendly with me made me a little less uneasy. I smiled, this time it was a real smile, "Touché", I said. We both laughed, that moment was when our friendship began.
   For about five months, what started off as casual ten minute conversations about school, life, and literature, grew into these routine daily casual conversations in AP Literature five minutes before class would end. That eventually turned into continuosly bumping into each other in the hallway, and talking to each other while he walked me off to my bus at the end of the school day. Simon quickly became a great friend to me, he was actually my only friend but he always knew what to say, how to cheer me up, and make me laugh. Our friendship had been established but my initial attraction to him quickly turned into an infatuation. I liked how close we were becoming as friends, and deep down I thought that if we got closer, we could maybe become more than friends.
                               The homecoming dance was one of the biggest social events of the school year. Simon and I were eating our lunch on the bleachers when he asked me if I was planning on going to homecoming. My heart skipped a beat. I thought he was going to ask me to be his date. I told him I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it to homecoming. I would have to convince my parents to let me go to the dance and I would definitely need about three to five business days to convince my dad to let me out of the house. My parents were originally from Nigeria and coming from a third world country where there weren’t many opportunities in regards to education, made them put a substantial emphasis on doing well academically. From the time I was about eight years old, my dad would always lecture me in his thick West African accent, "In this country, you can achieve anything if you study hard and put your mind to it, eh? You, Rose, you are very lucky, you have all the tools at your disposal. So what does that mean? You must use all the tools in life just like how a handy man uses his tools to repair his home, eh?" The tools my father referred to were school and church, that was basically what my life revolved around. I would go to early morning bible study before school, go to school, go home, go to church every Sunday, and repeat. Other activities outside of school or church were unnecessary and unimportant. The only activity in school I could particiapte in was Gospel Choir. If I wasn't participating in Gospel Choir after school, then I was to report home immediately. Most High School students went to the library or park after school with their friends to relax or study. They could enjoy freedom and life as regular teenagers while I was basically locked up in prison with my mom and dad as the most ridiculously strict prison guards ever.
     I explained to Simon why I wasn’t sure if I could make it to the homecoming dance. He shook his head in shock and laughed. "Geez, so why do mom and pops want you in the house all the time?” I smirked and shrugged my shoulder, "I have no idea". Simon chuckled and looked at me with his charming mischievous smile, "Why don't you just sneak out?” At first, I didn't respond, I just looked at him because I didn't know if he was joking or being serious. Simon's eyes widened as he waited for my reply, I laughed. "Oh, you're serious?" I asked him. He nodded, "Yeah why not, my buddies and me used to do it all the time". I shook my head in disapproval, "Ok Simon, maybe that worked for you and your buddies but I couldn't sneak out of my house if I tried, the earliest my dad goes to bed is probably like one o clock in the morning so between that and our alarm system, how could I even sneak out my house?" Simon looked at me with sympathy in his eyes and shook his head, "My God, it’s like you're stuck in that house." I nodded slowly, agreeing with him, "Tell me about it."
          Simon and I were walking inside school after having lunch outside on the bleachers when Simon suddenly grabbed my shoulders. Startled, I looked at him, "What?” There it was again, his mischievous smile suggested that he had come up with a clever idea. "Your parents want you to focus more on school right?" Simon asked, "Right" I responded, "Okay, so why don't you tell them that you're going to the library on Saturday to study for Smith's exam? Your dad can drop you off and you can bring a change of clothes for the dance, then I'll just pick you up from the library and take you home after the dance." I looked at Simon and smiled, “That might not be a bad idea" I told Simon as he nodded his head in agreement. I smiled and nodded as well because this plan could actually work and I loved how Simon was taking time to think of a way for me to go to homecoming. The next day I asked my dad if he could drop me off at the library to study for my upcoming literature exam. He happily agreed to drop me off at the library so I could "Use all the free tools and resources I needed to be successful". Simon's idea worked like a charm. I just needed to find something nice to wear to homecoming. If Simon Idrisson was going to be the guy to take me to homecoming then I had to look good, the last thing I wanted to do was embarrass myself in front of my crush.
   I demolished my closet while trying to look for something nice to wear for Simon and the homecoming dance. I looked inside the immense box my aunt sent me over the summer. The box was filled with clothes that didn't fit her anymore and since I had a similar voluptuous figure that she used to have, her old clothes fit me well. I thoroughly went through all the shirts and dresses in the box and tried them on. Most of them were decent looking casual outfits, but I couldn't wear them to homecoming. I looked through the box again and pulled out a knee length black dress with black lace sleeves. I tried it on immediately and for a moment, could not recognize myself. I turned around in the mirror and analyzed myself in the dress, the dress really complimented my figure. I glanced at all the other dresses lying on my bed, then I looked back at the mirror and the black dress I had on. I thought about Simon, and people actually noticing me in the dress. I took the dress off and hung in neatly in my closet, I couldn’t' wait for Simon to see me in my black dress and take me to homecoming.
    When Saturday finally arrived, I was nervous. I felt bad when my dad happily dropped me off at the library; I've never lied to my parents before or been to a social event outside of school without them knowing. However, I've never been outside of my cell at home so the dance would be a nice break for me. I would have the chance to feel like a teen, hang out with Simon, and maybe even tell him how I feel about him before I had to go back to my cell.
   I spent one hour in the library bathroom, getting dressed, applying makeup on my face, and doing my hair. I felt like a movie star when I left the bathroom. The librarian that saw me get into the bathroom before I was dressed did a double take as I walked passed him to go to the main lobby. I waited in the lobby for five minutes before I got a text from Simon asking me where I was. I sent him a text saying I was in the lobby at the library, he texted me back, saying he just passed the lobby and didn't see me. I was just about to text Simon, telling him to come back to the lobby when I saw him come through the double doors down the hall. He looked even more handsome as usual with his black jeans, polished shoes, t-shirt, and olive green jacket on. It felt like the whole world stopped and it was just Simon and me in the hallway, moving in slow motion to meet each other. He was about to walk right past me when I said his name and tapped his shoulder. He stepped back slowly, while looking me up and down, he looked surprised, "Rose?” I nervously chucked, "That's me". Simon looked me up and down again and took his time surveying me; I could feel the sweat on my palms. Simon looked at me and smiled, "You look like you're about to walk the red carpet". My cheeks burned as I laughed and thanked him for the compliment. I told him that he was the one who looked like a celebrity. He chuckled as he  took my arm and we walked out of the library to his car.
         The Homecoming Dance was held in the gym and it was packed. There was a huge clutter of people jumping around in the middle of the gym, grinding on each other or attempting to dance to the music. The loud music and lack of space in the gym was too much for me. I only came to the dance to be with Simon outside of a school setting. I dressed up in my little black dress, my black heels, and put on mascara and eyeshadow for Simon, I wasn't planning on actually talking to anyone else or dancing with anyone, unless it was Simon. Simon and I had entered the gym with each other but after meeting up with his friends and getting drinks from the refreshments table, I lost him. I thought I heard him say something about getting fresh air and coming right back. I decided to go look for him since I had no one else to talk to in the midst of all the choas that was happening in the gym. I walked out of the loudness and into the hallway; no one was in the hallway. Maybe he went back to his car. I walked to the student entrance and parking lot and was met with the intense smell of cannabis that slapped me across the face as soon as I walked out the double doors. I looked out into the parking lot and saw Simon's car but Simon wasn't in it. The only people out in the parking lot were a group of boys huddled up together in a circle smoking cannabis. I covered my nose and ran out of the parking lot as fast as I could to the field next to the parking lot. I saw the bleachers at the far left side of the field and felt like an idiot for not checking there first. That was where Simon and I had lunch most of the time and it was right behind the gym so it would make sense if he went there to get some fresh air. As I got closer to the bleachers, I started hearing weird noises, it sounded like someone or something was moaning or groaning in pain. At first I got scared and thought someone was hurt so I walked faster to the first row of the bleachers. It sounded like the groaning was coming from under the bleachers. I tried to walk quietly against the railing but I almost fell back against it when I heard a loud scream followed by whispering. I was curious to see what was happening under the bleachers so when I got to the edge of the bleachers, I turned my head to the side and peeked to see who was under the bleachers. To my shock, I saw Simon Idrisson pulling up his pants, shirtless while talking to some girl with long brown hair that had a just pulled up her skirt and was now putting on her blouse. He had the same mischievous smile while talking to this girl that he had whenever he would make his crude jokes with his buddies, the same mischievous smile that persuaded me to lie to my parents about going to the library. That same mischievous smile that made my palms sweat when he glanced my way, now made me feel like something in me had died. I can't explain the shock, disbelief and pain I felt at that moment, I can't even compare it to any physical pain I've experienced before. Within those 30 seconds, the feelings of being shocked and hurt, quickly turned into the strong feeling of rage. I was obviously angry at Simon for not even telling me about this girl who he seemed to enjoy being around since we had become such close friends. But, I was more angry at myself for being so dangerously naive in thinking that Simon and I would actually end up together. I felt my eyes begin to well up with warm tears, I had to get out of there fast before Simon and his mystery woman caught me.

    I don't think I've ever ran so fast in my entire life. I didn’t even run back inside the gym. I ran furiously until I saw my street sign. Fortunately for me, I lived about 0.9 miles away from school, which was still a long distance to run but it was  not impossible. As I approached my house, I remembered that I left my change of clothes in Simon’s car. I didn’t even want the clothes I had left in his car, I couldn't go back and face him. I  couldn't face the gut-wrenching dissapointment and heartbreak. I knew my parents would be so angry with me for lying and going out without their knowledge but I wasn’t even scared, I was ready to get the lecture and punishment from my parents over with, I figured I would just tell them everything before they started asking me why I looked like I had gone to a nightclub.

                                The lectures and threats to ship me off to Nigeria were tuned out and all I could hear was the slowed-down rhythm of my heart beat. I was in mental and physical pain. After my parents finished lecturing me, I walked up the stairs to my room like a zombie and just collapsed on my bed. I drowned myself in my own tears that night. I’ve never felt more disappointed and heartbroken in my entire life. Maybe I was too naïve to think that Simon had feelings for me too but how else could I explain his actions, his determination to get to know me, make me laugh, and make me open up to him? As I laid down in my bed, drained from all my tears, my phone beeped. I slowly picked up the phone to look at my notification. It was a text from Simon, "Hey you disappeared! I had fun tonight and I’m glad I had you as a friend to go with!” Hot tears swelled in my eyes as I threw my phone across the room. I truly thought that Simon had possible mutual feelings for me and offered to take me to homecoming so he could tell me that but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

   Lying in my bed, I had a newfound appreciation for my parent’s strict rules. I understood why they wanted to keep me locked inside the house and found comfort in the protection that my prison provided me from the outside world.