“To this day, I still can’t believe what my world has changed to…The void I always feel in my heart and the agonizing regret I hold...I’m so sorry for letting you down.” Jennifer sobbed as she held the picture of little Ellie close to her chest.
~~
Jennifer was a mother of two twin sisters, Ellie and Amber. Amber was always the outgoing one out of the pair; she was popular and was musically talented, winning several awards with her achingly beautiful voice. Ellie on the other hand always seemed to get the short end of the stick; literally, she was born without her right arm. She was underdeveloped when born, strangely enough her sister Amber was born healthy with all her limbs attached. This did not stop Ellie though, as she found her passion within art, painting beautiful abstract worlds which made minds wonder.
~~
“Your daughter Ellie has been so quiet, Jen. She refuses to even make eye contact with me.” Lauren said looking at Jen with concern.
“You don’t have to tell me twice. Ellie has been very distant these past months, she always locks herself in her room and barely eats.” Jen stated while looking towards the direction of Ellie’s room seemingly in thought.
“You should check on her Jen, speak to her and find out what’s going on in her life.”
“Lauren, every single time I check on her or try to start a conversation we end up arguing and she slams her door shut…I don’t know what’s wrong with her. I can’t talk to her right now though; I have to get ready for work. I guess I’ll check on her tomorrow.”
“If she refuses to tell you anything, just ask Amber what’s going on.”
“I’ll try that, thanks for the advice Lauren.” Jennifer replied, clearly annoyed with her friends interference.
~~
Ellie and Amber weren’t very close as many would think.  Considering, Amber always saw Ellie as less. Amber truly believed she was born in every way superior, she was prettier, more talented, and more popular and liked by many. While on the other side of the spectrum, Ellie was always made fun of in school since childhood, and since she has no right arm many of every day’s tasks proved to be a challenge. Surprisingly, Ellie was happy most of her childhood even though all the odds were against her. However, her social skills lacked and so made it difficult for her to make any friends. And she had no friends, but that was okay because she didn’t need anyone in order to be happy, or so she thought.
~~
  As days and then weeks passed Ellie felt the hands of time stripping her of life. She found it increasingly difficult to keep up with daily tasks. Ellie felt alone and misunderstood, her mother never had time for her, and they wouldn’t get along. She did love her mom though, and always wanted the best for her. But, she always felt alone; she had no one to vent her feelings to. There was her sister, but she would always make fun of her self-harm wounds.
~~
It was on that dreary night that Ellie decided to end it all. She thought about it over and over. There was never one person to show her the affection or care that she desperately needed. Why should she keep on living? There was no point or purpose for her. Numbness was the only feeling she could describe. She took in as many pills as she could swallow.  And so the world finally fades away for Ellie.
~~
Jennifer dropped to her knees crying. Ellie’s lifeless body lies upon the bathroom floor. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She has never felt such excruciating pain in her life… Amber ran up the stairs and her mouth dropped as she witnessed the scene.
The only thing Ellie left behind was a painting of her, her mother and her sister holding hands… There was noticeable contrast between light and darkness within the painting. It was stunningly beautiful.
~~
Jennifer continues to sob by Ellie’s gravestone.
“I’m so sorry for not being there to help you…your death will always be on my shoulders…I loved you with all my heart and I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother I was supposed to be. A beautiful life was lost the day you decided to commit suicide; you will forever be in my heart. Your sister has been going through therapy because she believes it’s all her fault and I know you two had your differences but deep down you loved each other. And…and…I’m sorry Ellie.”
~~
  Many years later Jennifer and Amber decided to create a suicide awareness group, in which they would travel to gatherings discussing mental health to teenagers and parents in loving memory of Ellie.