She tore the donut apart ravenously, licking powdered sugar from her fingertips. Artificial strawberry filling spilled onto the paper plate. She dipped the bread in the filling and stuffed pieces into her mouth.

“You know, you could just bite into it like a normal person,” Her friend cringed. It wasn’t the prettiest of sights. “Why do you lick your fingers?”

“Okay,” She spat tiny wet crumbs. “First off, I don’t give a flying f*** about manners. Powdered sugar is good and I like it. Second, I like eating donuts this way.”

“Are you going to wash your hands or use a napkin at least?”

“Eh. Sure.”

“So you intentionally weren’t going to?”

She gave ambiguous hand gestures. Powdered sugar flew in the air.

“Okay Jen, what did you want to talk about?” The bystander sighed, leaning into her hand. “Unless you just wanted to have someone with you during lunch?”

“It’s the mostly the later, my dear,” Jen wiped both her hands on her shorts. “But I got a little curious. ‘Cause I’m hearing tons of rumors flying around and I kinda want to know what’s going on?”

Something got stuck in her throat. “I’m… not quite sure we should talk about this, y’know. In public?”

“Mae, my friend. No one in this school gives s*** about each other’s problems. Besides, probably everyone knows it besides me. I’m out of the loop. Unlike you, the extroverted person that everyone enjoys talking to. You leave lots of pretty comments on everyone’s social media.”

Mae anxiously scooted her seat backwards. “I don’t like where this is going. I thought we were going to have a nice chat, but if you’re going to be rude and pry into other people’s businesses, I’m not gonna deal with it.”

Jen stared directly into Mae’s eyes. Despite Jen’s indifferent cool, her tense shoulders and strained smile seems to indicate something else. Mae flinched and broke eye contact.

“Alright,” Jen reached for her third donut. “But just so you know: it isn’t nice hurting people like that. Especially if that person is my girlfriend. Capishe?”

“Oh… So… It was true?” Mae gave a curt smile. “Congratulations. I didn’t know-”

“You didn’t know I ‘swung’ all ways?” Jen interrupted. “You didn’t know that I was a dirty queer slut who sleeps with everyone she meets, yeah I get that a lot.”

“Why are you-?”

“Oh, am I wrongfully accusing you? Are you sure? Honestly, your face says otherwise. Say it to my face.”

“I didn’t it mean it like that!” Mae stomped. The cafeteria’s chattering simmered to an uncomfortable silence.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I mean,” Mae shook, her fingernails dug into her thighs. She frantically looked around. Eyes. “Please, let’s take this somewhere else.”

Jen, unimpressed, took a mock thinking pose. “Nah, I’d like to hear what you have to say.”

Mae takes a quick breath and brashly exits the room. Jen squeezes the jam out of her donut onto her paper plate, unfazed.

---
Mae felt the water trickling from her puffy face to the sink. As she looked at the mirror, she choked up a sob. It was a dumb mistake. Stupid. Idiot. Jen’s going to despise her now. And she deserves it. A burning heat painfully ate away in her chest. The restroom door creaked open.

“Hey.” Her voice vibrated off the grimy white tiles.

“Please leave me alone,” Mae mumbled, clutching her skirt. “I hate you and your girlfriend and you definitely hate me.”

Water dripped into the sink’s murky water. “Uh… I’m not quite sure about that.”

“What do you mean?” Mae snarled. “You caused a commotion during lunch on purpose. The whole school’s gonna bustle with rumors now.”

“Um. You mean that you caused the commotion.”

“Stop it. The way you talked to me earlier, it’s anything but friendly. You want to get back on my ugly face and that’s completely logical. Go ahead. You’ll feel a lot better.”

“I mean. Maybe, but that isn’t the case,” Jen rubbed the back of her neck. “I know you’re a genuinely okay person and I dunno. All of those harsh comments seemed, well, off.” Mae hunched over and covered her face with her hands. “Of course that doesn’t mean I’m not pissed, for sure. I do sorta want to punch you face in? But I know that this isn’t usually you.”

Mae stayed still and quiet. She looked like forlorn porcelain doll. Mae hoped that she would crack and shatter into useless pieces.

“I’m not one to lecture you. You’re probably beating yourself up over it. You’re that type of person. I can feel it. I still don’t understand why you hurt Bella’s feelings, though. Nothing will make your actions just, but I think there’s more to why you did it.”

The brunette wished the panelled floor would swallow her whole. Transparent eyes glared condescendingly around her. They whispered the cruelest things.

“... You don’t have to answer. But, I want you to know that, you are one of my closer friends. You were there when I needed to talk to someone and I was there for you too. Maybe it wasn’t you? I don’t know. I admit I got a bit too heated there.”

“I got jealous.” Mae muttered.

Jen’s expression twisted into pure befuddlement. “Of… who?”

Mae rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, “Dumb.”

“I’d prefer to say I’m oblivious of things without extensive context. But yeah I am pretty dumb.”

“A lot of people would say otherwise..”

“‘Daw, thanks! But seriously,”

“Yeah, I know. I got jealous Bella.”

“... And? That’s why you sent tons of blackmail and hate messages to her for the public’s eye?”

“I like you.”

Jen blinked. She stays still, as if she’s attempting to piece every single hint she received throughout the school year. “Oh. That makes a bit more sense.”

Mae groaned and pulled her hair. “I know, it was pure rage and jealousy, I didn’t know what I was doing? It just- I just,” Mae deflated. “I don’t know. Like you said, it isn’t an excuse.”

“I sorta forgive you. Bella might not. You better apologize to her.”

“I. I will.”

Suddenly, Mae felt Jen’s warm embrace. Her hands gripped Mae’s back. Jen felt like a personal heater. A harbinger of warmth and hospitality. “I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings. I know I haven’t been the best friend either. Can we work this mess out?”

“Sure.” Mae’s toes clenched. Tears began to stain the back of Jen’s shirt. She sputtered and sobbed incomprehensible apologies.

Jen patted Mae’s back. “Sorry I didn’t notice earlier. You must’ve been penting up a ton of emotions for a while. It isn’t wrong to like me, either. Always knew your father was sort of weary and hateful of people like me. Like us.” So you took it out on Bella and yourself.

Mae’s ragged breathing evened out, so she simply rests her chin onto Jen’s shoulder.

“... Your breath smells really bad. So does um. Everything else.”

“Yeah. I. Sorta still haven’t washed my hands and stuff.”

Mae laughed, gasping for air. “That’s gross. You’re gross.”

“I know. And you still like my dumb gross ass”

“Yeah… I know. I know.”