Water is cascading down my hair. Little bubbles float down its silky surface. It feels like it is raining on my head. A little rainstorm, I think with a small smile. Some of those raindrops fall onto my face, and I can feel them falling down my checks. They are like little tears but I'm not sad.
    The hairdresser lady, her name is Ella, finally washes all the soap from my hair and allows me to sit up. Ella's hair is shaved on one side and on the other side her beautiful brown hair falls to just above her shoulders. The tips are bleached so that they look blond. It looks stunning, but I'm not planning on cutting my hair like that. Ella walks me back over to the barber chair. As I walk over, I feel like something is hanging on my hair pulling my head back slightly. Nothing is hanging on my hair. It is the two and a half feet of my wet hair that is pulling at my head. My hair is a beautiful dirty blond and my friends always comment on how perfect it is. I know my hair is pretty, but I don't care and worry about it like most girls do. But today I am glad that it is perfect because in less than a hour it won't be mine.
    As I sit down I see my mom, my Aunt Jamie, and my little cousin Hope. Hope sits there, her feet only halfway to the floor with the biggest brightest smile on her face and her light blue bandana that covers her bald head.
    Hope was diagnosed with cancer a when she was four. The past few years she has gone through so much to try to rid her body of that cancer. Now after going through many rounds of chemotherapy she has lost all her hair. She had had beautiful brown little ringlets that fell around her face and that would resist any, barrette, her mom tried to push it into.
She was always a joyous little girl who always smiled. The first time I held her she had a slight smile on her brand new lips. As she grew older that smiled never faded. When you were sad she would give you the biggest hug her small arms could give. Now all I want to do is give her the biggest hug I can. She is always my little sidekick and follows me around everywhere. I'm her biggest role model. Now I'm going to do my best to put the biggest brightest smile I can on her face. That is why I am cutting my hair. I'm donating it so that it can go into a wig for my little cousin. No matter what, I'm going to make sure some of my hair makes it into her wig.
    Ella combs my hair making sure there are no knots in it. Hope comes over and puts her hands on my arm rest, her nose is the only thing that clears it. She stands there with a smile on her face. She grabs my hand and squeezes it as hard as she can as if I'm the one who needs comforting. My hair is put in a ponytail that rests right at the base of my head so that they can cut off as much hair as possible.
    "Are you ready?" Ella asks.
I look over at Hope who looks at me with huge eyes. I smile down at her. "Definitely."
    I hear the first snip as the scissors starts to cut my hair, and I think back to when I first met Hope.
    Hope was only ten hours old when I first held her. My mom, dad, and I walked down the hallway to where their room was, room 2048. The hallway smelt of hand sanitizer. When we got to the door I knocked on it softly and my uncle came and opened the door. I saw my Aunt Jamie lying there on the bed holding my baby cousin in her arms. She smiled at us. My parents talked with my aunt and uncle for a while, and I just stood there looking at the bundle of blankets wondering what my little cousin looked like. Aunt Jamie saw me staring and asked if I wanted to hold her. I looked wide eyed at her then nodded. My uncle smiled as he took my new baby cousin from my aunt and handed her to me as I sat on the big soft chair that was in their room in the hospital. She was so tiny. I picked up one of her little hands. They were wrinkly like my grandmother's hands but they were tiny and brand new; they even had little fingernails on them. I was amazed at the cuteness of my new little cousin. I looked down and saw the little smile on her lips. Her eyes were closed and she was sleeping, but I felt as if that smile was directed at me. I kissed her little head that already had a mop of brown hair on it.
    Ella cuts my hair further. I can feel my hair starting to get lighter, and I close my eyes.
    Hope was about a year and a half when she said her first word. My family spent a lot of time with my aunt and uncle, so I got to spend a lot of time with Hope. I got to be there when she first started to crawl and watch as she tried to stand up and walk. When she said her first word they were at our house for dinner. I have a talent for making pizza and it is one of our families' favorite meals. Hope had been becoming more verbal over the past few weeks, mumbling nonsense as her tongue tried to learn who to form words. Today I had made a pepperoni and white pizza. When the pizza was ready we all grabbed a piece and then the adults stood around the island in our kitchen. My aunt and uncle had started to allow me to feed Hope, so I cut up some of my pizza into small bites. I made sure that it was cool, so it would not burn her tongue, and fed her the pizza bit by bit. As she used her new little teeth to try to chew the pizza, she started to mumble.
    "Mmme Mmme," she said.
    "Yep, it does taste good Hope," I replied.
    I used her little plastic spoon to pick up one last piece of food. I pretended that the spoon was a plane flying into her mouth making sounds that mimicked an airplane. Hope was reaching out and laughing.
    “Mina!" she gargled. I froze. Did I hear what I think I just heard? She said it again, "Mina!"
    "Mom, Dad, Aunt Jamie, Uncle Jim come here listen to Hope!" They all rushed over and Hope just kept repeating that one word over and over.
    "Mina! Mina! Mina!"
    Mina, my name, my cousin's first word was my name. I smiled a huge smile and felt joy bouncing inside of me. My cousin's first word was my name.
    Ella continued to cut across the top of the ponytail. I can feel the pull on my head lessening. There is not much hair still clinging to my head.
    Hope was three when my good friend's little brother died. He got sick and because he was so little his young immune system was unable to fight it off. I was really sad and was depressed. I did not know why the brother had to die. Aunt Jamie was coming over to our house for a get together with many of her and my mom's friends. She brought Hope over because she knew I enjoyed playing with her. When they came I was curled up in the corner of our couch crying. Hope walked in the door she screamed at the top of her lungs,
    "Mina!"
She wanted me to come and play in play with her. To find me she started running all over the house. She found me curled on the couch. The next thing I knew she was giving me a big hug.”
    "Don't be sad, Mina. You need to feel better." She did not know what was wrong but she did not want me to be sad. Even though I still hurt, my little cousin was able to lighten my mood a little. I turned over to face her and gave her a small smile.
    "Okay Hope," I said and she gave me a big hug.
   
In Memory of
Trey