The Life I Didn't Save | Teen Ink

The Life I Didn't Save

August 12, 2015
By Historyink SILVER, Cleveland, Ohio
Historyink SILVER, Cleveland, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

I can’t believe this; daddy let me come on an archaeological dig with him! He just dug the trench, and I’m so excited! I‘m jumping around and I nearly fall in the trench, but daddy catches me around my waist. “Careful there girlie” Then my foot slides and run into his ankle tripping him. We fall in, and his head bashes on a rock. It pierced his temple killing him with his arms still around my waist. DADDY! PLEASE NO!!!” I scream helplessly. I don’t know what to do! Mommy will be so angry at me. Where can I go? I want daddy! Why did this happen? Please tell me this isn’t real. I WANT DADDY BACK! I can’t go back to mommy after I got daddy killed. So I have to run far away.

Thirty years later.

I’m still haunted by the memory of it. As if it happened an hour ago, but I near the eve of the incident. I never went home. How could I after what I had done? I live in forest a few miles away from where it happened. I never went back there either. I couldn’t even gather the courage to bury him. There was even a pre-dug hole, but I couldn’t bring myself to go back. I tried to forget it, but it hovers over me. I wish to go back and visit the sight, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m sitting by a fire. It all seems forged like this is a nightmare. Oh how I wish it was. I would do anything to see my father again. I want to apologize to him for what I did. I want to see him again. I want to see my mother. But I’m a weak coward! I don’t deserve to be surviving. I’ve tried to visit the sight of the incident, but I broke down. I couldn’t bring myself to go. I can’t ever make it up to him or my mother. I can’t go back to the sight, but tonight I saw something I haven’t seen in thirty years. I saw a family walking through the forest. There was a little girl and her mother and father. The girl tripped, and her father caught her. “Careful there girlie” he said with his hands around her waist. I want my family. Maybe if I go to mother she won’t be mad; maybe she’ll be so happy to see me. I get up and start walking to face my fears. No I can’t do this. I have to do this. I can’t I’ll ruin everything. I can fix everything. I WON’T EVER GO BACK! I HAVE TO! MOTHER WILL HATE ME AFTER WHAT I’VE DONE! I decide I should go on a more dangerous journey; I will to go on journey through my mind. I don’t want to know what’s in there, but it must be bad if I don’t even know what’s in there. I lay down by my fire, close my eyes, and focus. I already hate this. I see a wrecked town to match the wrecked life I’ve brought upon myself. It could have been beautiful, but it’s burned to the ground due to my actions my father’s death was a tornado that knocked everything down, but after that it could have been repaired. It was my actions that burned it to the ground beyond repair. There is an empty and wrecked home that was meant for people that matter to me, but it’s just empty. It could be filled if I would just gather the courage. I see a faded picture of my mother, father, and my best friend. My selfishness destroyed my life and probably other’s lives too. I can’t ever love again; I’ve destroyed the town. I walk through a forest exactly like the one I live in I see Luna the baby wolf that I killed because I started to love it. I killed it, so I wouldn’t hurt from feeling love. Now it hurts more, because I killed a helpless lost cub. I’ll never forget the way her affection warmed my heart of ice, but now she is gone due to me. I walk to the end of the forest; it leads me to the sight of the incident. Only this looks like over the thirty years nothing changed. I see my father’s body. I collapse “I’m so sorry, father” I say to the body looking exactly how I left it. I want to live, but now I can only survive. I can’t love after I wrecked my town. I could have saved everything if I had buried my father and gone back to my mother, but I was and still am a coward. I destroyed myself, and probably everyone who loved me by running away. I’m sorry father. I’m sorry mother. I let my fear take over, and failed you and myself. I’m so sorry. Good bye. With that I brought myself to reality, and I threw myself into the fire

Similar Articles


This article has 0 comments.