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Undead
I died. I was 21 years old. It wasn't a car crash. No suicide. No terrible accident. I wasn't kidnapped and then murdered. Nothing that dramatic. No, I was diagnosed with cancer. But before I get into that. I should first define the word dead. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary the word dead means "lifeless". Sadly I'm not completely lifeless... However I'm not completely alive either. If I were, I'd be at school (college) wasting away my days with classes and friends. Dreaming about the endless possibilities that come with being young.. So again, I'm not quite alive, nor am I completely dead. I'm stuck somewhere in between. I'm stuck at home in my bed. I'm locked into my own head.... Never truly dying....and never truly living. I'm stuck in a war... alone and against myself.
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My friend... Well he's dying of cancer. At the time my friend wasn't really my "friend" he was something more. Over the year He changed. He wasn't the person I fell in love with, but I loved him anyways. I tried so hard to capture- to understand what he was going through. I was hoping to present this to him as a gift of sorts. So he would know that I wanted to understand. However life doesn't always work out for the best.... and I needed to get this off my chest.