My Disability | Teen Ink

My Disability

January 12, 2009
By emilythejelly PLATINUM, New City, New York
emilythejelly PLATINUM, New City, New York
28 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Who would have thought that I’d be strutting down 12th and Broadway right now? I mean, yeah it’s not a walk in the park, as they would say but I’m doing it. It’s so tedious though. I have to pay attention to every single thing. Can’t let my guard down, no way. I can’t stop either, nevertheless I’ll fall or trip, and how would that look?

Her gait was a flow of a backward stream beside me. Softly touching the ground with those trodden ballet flats. It’s easy for one to get lost in another’s footsteps, each with their own conversation. Some bellow for all to hear, while others are scattered. I could match a person’s gait, like one could do with a voice. It was so simple.

But not only do I have their steps to follow but everything else. I usually tend to grasp onto sounds, sort of how you would utilize sight more then anything. However sometimes, especially when walking in a swarm of people like I am now, it can get the slightest bit of confusing. Good thing she’s wearing a trace of a floral perfume. I think its raspberry…no, wait, there’s a hint of strawberry to the scent. Yeah, that must be it. I feel as if I have two sections here. I know I’m talking right now, I can hear my voice. It’s like my fathers, on the edge of becoming deep but not quite. Yet very defined. I guess when I’m down here; I don’t understand what is going on surrounding me. Just that’s its happening. Upstairs is where they figure that mess out. Place figure A next to B and you get it. Too bad, I’m assuming it’s not so difficult.

My eyes detect shadows hanging over me. Like the ghosts of our pasts. I think it must be around 5 o’clock. The sun is at a 25 degree angle in the sky and is only descending. We should be arriving at the restaurant soon enough.

We’re discussing the significance of the annexation of Texas. Don’t ask me why, that’s how it is with my mother. She despises making small talk. How many times can a person talk about their day, the weather, food, clothes, etc… in their life? That just simplifies our existence while we could be enriching ourselves with knowledge.

On a normal day it’s easy to busy myself with taking in my surroundings, observing everything at hand and also interact with my own little sphere. I heard a click, it was distant and I felt as if the paranoia I had inherited from my father’s side was kicking in. I had to investigate it further. I’m able to replay sounds in my mind. They don’t sound as precise and clear as the first time but, I deal. When I heard it again, over and over I decided to let the nerves take over me. I examined the source of the sound. Something I’d do as a child, determine what was happening behind me and then inquiring my mother if I was correct. I almost always was.

I had noticed it before, but it didn’t seem as petrifying as before. The footsteps about 20 feet behind me on a slight diagonal from the southeast, were the same ones I had observed an half an hour ago. Now, I have two rationales to decide between. Either I am dead set right or crazy, out of my mind. Well I went with being safe rather then sorry and tried to put myself in this guys shoes. A faint rush grow over me. I felt the air molecules dissipate right in front of his right arm. It was pointed and I knew exactly where it’d go.

I positioned myself gradually, not giving anything away but waiting for the direct chance. His hand grew tense while my ears detected a hard, cold noise. I jumped in a sideways direction, just picture a seal diving for a plastic ball, while the buzz of a stray piece of copper flew past my ear. As I was turning, it punctured into my left hip, forcing me to feel drowsy and giddy at the same time. Eventually the body below me removed themselves and I felt the grimy pavement against the silvers of my skin.

And the warm pool of endless blood burst out from the impact. There’s no crazier feeling then that.

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