I stare at the celing. Plain white, with grooves that would tell us our future. But did the future expect this to happen?

                                                       Why wasnt I there to help?

She was always there for me. Ups and downs, ins and outs. She was my ride or die. The one that I cried on when things got tough. She was there from the moment we met. She ment everything to me. She was my bestfriend....and now we are separated by a whole different world.

"Nickie," Her voice brings me back down to earth. I listen. "I have a condition that not even god his self cant cure. When I went to the office today, the ran PET scans. It took a long time for us to get the results back and.......," she paused for a long time. Than, her voice came back to life. Sobs that she'd tried to hide broke free. "The doctor told me that I have a tumor in the back of my brain. They say that I have three months left until the tumor consumes me." Another long pause. "Nickie..... I need you,now, more than ever. I want to make the best out of the time. I just really need you to know that you are my one and only bestfriend and I love you so much....." I could hear the sobs in the background, than the call ended.

Silece was the only sound that filled the room. The doctors prediction was wrong by a long shot. She left that message a week ago. On saturday night, her parents found her wrapped up in a blanket that I had given her the summer before, clutching a photo of the two of us. Her mother had said that she looked so peaceful.

                                                              I wasnt there in time!

I looked up from my phone and the hazel eyes stared back, so very focused. She was dead, but very much alive. She wore a black long sleeve shirt, a black skirt, black leggings and black flats. Her funeral outfit. She wore a sad, worn out face. She haunts my memory now. Better yet, shes always there, punishing me for not being there.

I cant stand it anymore. I put on my spring jacket, some flats and walk down the wooden staircase. Mother was drinking her coffee in silence, in the corner of the kitchen. She looks up for only a moment, than goes back to staring at the plain gray tiles. I grab my keys off the wooden rack and walk out.

The engine comes to life. I reach for the clutch and put it in drive. Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes to hours. By now, I've lost track of the time. We stop on the bridge and get out. I look over the rails at the shimmering lake, than turn back to her. She's shaking her head. Not ready yet. We drive some more. Our next stop was the coast the connected to the ocean. The waves splashed up onto the sand. We walked down the sandy walk and stopped at a clift that hung over the water. I turn to her again. This time she shows some type of response to it, but shes not entirely happy.

We continue to drive. A funeral car passes us with a train of cars behind it. Than I see her again. A cherry brown coffing with silver handles. Her face pale, her hands neatly folded across her torso, holding the same picture of us. Than I feel her icy smooth hand on mine. Gentle. I turn to look at her. Tears streaked her face. Now I know the perfect spot.

We pull up on a canyon that had the perfct view of the moutains. The sun was just barely starting to go down. The orange radiated off the moutain peek. The sky was stained a mix of reds, oranges, purples, and pinks. We got out and the cool spring air whisps around us. Together, we walk to the edge. She turns to me, and I turn to her, our hands were locked tightly together between us. Tears still streaked her perfect face. The wind blew blonde strands on hair in her eyes. She didnt care to move them.

Hazel eyes met my blue ones. She turned toward the setting sun. A smile filled her face. Now back to me, staring. She kissed me on the cheek and just like that, the wind carried her away.

I couldnt believe she was really gone. Tears started to flood my eyes, blurring my vision. I wiped them away and went back to where my car sat. The wind wraps me in a blanket, and I know that she will always be with me. I smile and sit there, enjoying the perfectly imperfect view of the setting sun. I close my eyes and there she is. alive and well. Our arms wrapped around each other, laughing as if nothing happened.

Pefectly imperfect.