11/14/14
Hour 2
Help

I’m going to tell you about help. Everybody gets it, everybody needs it. But the thing is, humans don’t know how to ask. Thats my story. A girl who doesn’t know how to ask for help, but finds people that will help her. But, the one person that does, well maybe her help isn’t help. Maybe its just different. Maybe Lauren was different.

It started out as a normal day, walking through the halls, getting picked on & ignored. It wasn’t unusual, it happened all the time. I opened my locker, already pushed into it. The slightly crafty sticker letters (spelling JADE)  were already peeling off. Yup, Jade. Thats me. I started to gather my things when a voice interrupted me.
“Jade, hey.”
It was Lauren, hand on my shoulder and a purse on hers.
“Oh. Hey. Why are you here?”
She looked around before lowering her voice. “Hey, listen can I talk to you by the hill?”
My heart began to thud. “Outside? As in skipping school?” I had never dreamed of skipping school, let alone with Lauren. She hesitated before saying, “Cmon Jade, I do it all the time!” Lauren was 16, and I was 12. She was in high school while I was in middle. I shook my head and closed my locker. “Lauren, no. I can’t get in anymore trouble! Of course you can do it, things are different here.”

She looked dumbfounded for a second, then recomposed herself. “Whatever. But I need to talk to you, Jade Helena Mellet!” I cringed. I hate it when people use my full name, its just weird.
“Fine. Now, I have to get to class-” I noticed that the clock read 8.55 am. I was supposed to get to class 15 minutes ago. “Great.” I muttered under my breath. I began to slowly walk to my waited destination.

“Miss Mellet! Nice of you to join us today! Looks like a detention.”

My math teacher never liked me. So, I was always getting yelled at and so forth. Sigh. She gave me a pointed look as I sat down.
“Mrs. Alton, she was with me. Don’t worry, she got out a little late, family problems. I brought her in.” Lauren spoke behind me. I let out a sigh of relief. Lauren almost had this power, the power of persuasion. Mrs. Alton nodded, and let me in.
“Lunch!” Lauren called down the hallway.
I knew what I had to do. Obviously
****
People with mental disorders kinda freaked me out. I mean, it makes me really uncomfortable. I had expressed this to Lauren many times, but it still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like I hated it, but it made me feel...weird. Like I couldn’t do anything, just let them drown in their erratic thoughts. That’s honestly NOT a happy thought or feeling.

So now I’m laid on the grass, thinking about what gossip I would be missing at our lunch session. Lauren looked me in the eye and sat down next to me. She played with her hands before speaking.
“Jade..” She trailed off. Yet she was determined to get the words out. She was scared to tell me this, not happy at all just..fearful.

For some odd reason, I felt faint. My palms were slick, my knees trembled and spots began to cloud my vision. “W-what?” I croaked out. My mouth felt as if it was filled with sawdust. I was panicking for no apparent reason, why was I panicking? Lauren’s blue eyes bore into mine. She took a deep breath and then said the three worst words.
“I have Schizophrenia.”
Suddenly, it made sense. The dazed look on Lauren’s face, the times where she said she couldn’t hang out because of her head...what had she told me? That she was in pain...and I did nothing at all..
***

I didn’t know what to think, what to feel. It was like time slowed down, I was falling into this gray void of nothingness. Static sounds filtered out of my ears, making me almost fall forward into Lauren. “Jade.” She repeated over and over again, while I sat dizzily on the grass. I looked up at her. “When..?” I couldn’t even speak, the words just didn’t come out. Lauren seemed unhappy to tell me how long she had this terrible disorder. “Since I was 11.” Lauren mumbled. 6 years. 6 years that I hadn’t known about. I knew what schizophrenia was, I had done a report on it earlier this year.

Then, in that moment, I decided to make a decision. I,the most useless thing on this planet, took a deep breath and said,
“I want to help you.”

Everything didn’t magically get better after that. Lauren still had Schizophrenia, I still had school, I still struggled with life. Something had happened that had changed forever.
Trust. We learned to trust more, because telling a girl you were friends with since like 2 months rather than your other closer friends says a lot. But now I’m going to give a big speech about really sentimental things so you better listen.

Time. It’s limited. Nothing we have will last forever, including friends, including our lives. So, why are we wasting it? Why do we choose to not tell people how crazy we are, or let our fears spook us to the point where we won’t see that girl on the street anymore?
Help is the thing we want. It’s what we need. It’s what we give. So is trust. Trust, Help, and Time. These are the biggest things we have in life.

But I will only say this, just like a cheesy The Fault in Our Stars moment, life doesn’t have to be perfect. We are not perfect. But, we have one choice in life, one choice where we’re going. All I ask is that you live it well. Because I don’t know where I’m headed, but I know it’s gonna be a long time. And I know that my life will be better than I’d ever imagined.