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How To Be an Irresponsible Adult
Congrats new minted adult!
Here are eight sure-fire ways to be utterly irresponsible.
1. Blow off your job – you don’t need it anyways, that’s what parents are for. Age doesn’t matter, remember? You still have forever before bills appear and taxes are due.
2. Never be on time, to anything – who wears watches anymore? No one in this day in age cares about being on time. Bosses are too busy and professors don’t even take roll. Feel free to take all the time in the world.
3. Act like you’re still in highschool – Blink 182’s song “What’s My Age Again?” has it going on. Being immature is totally underrated. Freshman life was the way to go bro. Push those worries aside and focus on having fun 24/7.
4. Throw parties every weekend – those articles about alcohol being bad for you are just rumors, everyone knows that. Besides the bottles of liquor just magically materialize in your cabinets every Friday, don’t they? Plus, talk about the high of illegal substances. Cops don’t pay attention to such a petty thing as a bag of weed. You’ll be fine.
5. Lend money to flakey people – you know that two grand you lent to your “bestfriend” a couple months ago? How they swore they’d pay you back? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. But money grows on trees right?
6. Sink into debt – paying off student loans is overrated. Banks have like a million other clients, they won’t notice you owe them ________ amounts of money. Go ahead and push that to the back of your mind. No worries.
7. Help with pregnancy rates – haven’t you heard that having a kid or kids is the hottest trend right now? Plus, babies are so cute. All you have to do is feed them spaghetti.
8. Drop out of college – it’s too expensive anyways. Besides, there are tons of jobs that don’t require a degree. Just float through, something will come your way. Happy non-fishing!
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