Always wearing dark clothes and not dressing with a style that others would usually wear, being colorful and with a happy look to them. I have always had trouble with people not liking me just because of how I dress and the music I listen to. All I ever heard was people basically saying to change who I am and I never knew how to deal with this issue. Pertaining to this issue there wasn't much I could do because I didn't know how to deal with it. I admit I could have approached the problem differently but at that time I made some foolish mistakes, but compared to now I believe I have grown mature by learning from my mistakes. 

After doing a few thing I regret that's where a few things about me changed. My attitude, clothes, music and my outlook on life. At first even though I got bullied I was still a rather happy person but once I did the few thing I regret my attitude turned completely around, becoming more serious and rather shy. The reason I did this was to isolate myself from everyone, so I wouldn't hurt anyone again, but I realized that it was a bit of a mistake to do that because I became so distant that people found me a bit scary because of how I wouldn't talk or show how I really feel about others. This taught me that I can’t let my past get to me in the fashion it did, there are better ways to handle a situation rather than making yourself unapproachable. For example if you have a problem with someone just talk to them rather than being aggressive towards people.

My cloths became a big part of who I am. It shows people how I feel not just on the outside but on the inside to. I have a bit of my own style that no one understands but that's just what makes me who I am. If anyone is to tell me to change, I won’t because it is my life and I’ll do whatever I want with it. Theirs a line from an anime that I always look back on and it is “Where all the same, all of us.” This saying that even if someones cloths are different from yours or if you like two completely different things you should not let that be a reason to not like another person. From this I chose to have friends rather than being alone and if someone doesn't like me then they don’t have to talk to me because I don’t think holding a grudge against someone will get you anywhere in life.

And through all the bullying I faced the only thing I could look up on to help me was actually one of the things I was actually teased about. Music, music has always been the way for me to escape reality because of how I could relate to a lot of the songs I listen to. The main one I listen to is a Japanese song called mushi by a Visual Kei band called Dir En Grey. This song reminds me of how I feel most of the time like no ones there to help me through the hard times I face being alone in this world. The main line I connect to is “I can’t open myself up to anyone at all and I can’t see anything the light that shines is disappearing, soon it will be gone” I know people shouldn't think this way but with what all I had gone through its hard not to. Being who I am, I am always willing to look past my feelings and go as far as I need to succeed in life and in what I want to do for a living, I always have to stay strong no matter what the obstacle is.