“I hate you!” I scream, tears streaming down my face. Both of us know it’s not true, but saying it feels so good after what I just saw. I’m angry, so angry. It’s all bottled up inside of me and nothing I do can release all the anger from within me. I’m so filled with rage it’s as if I can feel it taking over my body. He tries to take a step toward me and reaches his hand out. “I’m sorry!” he yells back. The girl has already run back to her own car and left. That whore. “It’s not what you think babe, I swear.” I step forward to shove him back down the porch steps.

I knew things would change after graduation, I did. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon. Now I already caught him making out with some slut, and at the farmhouse no less. The farmhouse is our secret place, the place we sneak out to in the middle of the night to meet each other. I guess it meant more to me than it does to him. I grasp the white railing of the porch to try and stop myself from shaking, but it’s no use anymore. I feel like I’m going to explode.

“Do I mean nothing to you?! Two years together,” my voice catches, but I continue, “and this is what I get, Jack? What have I ever done to deserve this?” I know my voice sounds ridiculous and I have the looks to match it right now, but I don’t care anymore. This is the guy that has seen me at my worst and my best, but never this livid before. I know my face is red and blotchy like it always is when I cry. My voice is squeaking, barely able to get the words out, but the rage is pushing my voice forward.

“Babe, you’ve got to believe me. Let’s just go inside and talk. I’ll explain everything.” He has desperation written all over his face, but nothing he has to say will make a difference now. What’s done is done.

“You’re f*#@ing crazy if you think I’m ever going back in there with you again.” I just want to get the image of them together out of my head, but I can’t shake it. I feel like it’s going to tear me up and break me into a thousand irreparable pieces. I collapse down into a ball right there on the porch, my legs no longer able to hold me up. I throw my head into my hands and sob like I never have before.

I hear the sound of his feet gingerly walking closer to me. “Come here. Please just let me explain,” he says softly. I look up at him, trying to muster up a look of hatred in my eyes, but being too in love with him to do so. “I thought we had a shot,” I say, almost inaudibly. “I thought we were going to make it. Why did you have to throw that all away?” The sobs break out again on the last part and I bury my head again.

He crouches down and tries to put an arm around me, but I stop him before he gets very far. “Leave me alone,” I plead. A hurt look in his eyes, he gets up and walks back down the steps. He makes his way to the car and doesn’t look back. With that, he’s gone.