Ever since I was six I always knew I wanted to be the exact opposite of my mom. My parents have been split up since I was eight years old. Where to start, um, well my mom is a cheater, liar, alcoholic, etc. but she’s also the hardest working person I know. I only know like three people, but you get the point. I haven’t seen my dad in months, and I’ve only visited him three times. “I don’t want you around that disgusting man, Jamie,” my mom explained to me, years ago, but I was finally going to visit him next week. My mom grudgingly agreed when I pleaded to go. “Mom, please do you know how hard it is living without a father? Just for a week, that’s all.”

“You know what? Fine. It’s pointless to argue with you anyway. Always has been, always will be.”

“You’re really serious this time?”

“I suppose. But promise me something. Don’t ever let him hurt you, Jamie. If he so much as lays a finger on you, call me. You hear? And I mean it this time, don’t try to ‘handle this one on your own’. I always hate when you do that; worries me to death.”

She sighed, knowing she would regret it later. I knew she had a date with her latest man candy; that’s what I call them anyway. Rob, Bob, Bobby, some name like that. She suddenly raced upstairs, finally realizing what time it was. I was leaving two days from now, and me being the over achiever I am, I had already asked for all my work, since my dad’s trailer was out of state. I decided to get a jump on all of it, since I swear tenth grade algebra will be the death of me.

The next day, I came home from school and sling off my backpack into its usual spot. I grab something from the fridge, a cola and some yogurt. I flop down onto the couch, my limbs sprawled everywhere as usual, but I find a handwritten note that says,
“Sorry, honey, I stayed with Bob a little longer than planned. Dinner’s in the microwave when you want it. Be back ASAP. XOXO-Mom”

I roll my eyes in disgust. No doubt they were having the time of their lives, again. I sigh, and flopped back into my position on the couch. I knew I should be packing, but whatever, I hate roadtrips anyway. I really don’t even know what provoked me to go. I quickly scrunch my blond hair into a messy bun. My phone vibrated; it was a text from Kaitlyn, my best friend and practically my only friend. I hadn’t spoken to her in weeks, partly because of my horrible home life and partly because I wasn’t social at all. It read, “Hey, r u mad at me or somethin?” I threw my phone back on the coffee table and flipped through the channels. It vibrated again, but I just left it there for a long time. Finally, when I couldn’t find anything to watch, I reached for it and sighed and opened it, “Well i guess thats a yes, so um we dont have to be friends if u dont want to be” I groaned, knowing I just lost my one and only real friend.

One day before I was supposed to go, I got nervous. I don’t even know why, because my dad had always loved me, and I knew I shouldn’t have been scared but somehow, I was. I was flopped down on my couch in my usual TV watching position. I heard the door knob rattle a bit, and I jerked my head to see my mom bursting through the door, shopping bags in one hand, drink in the other, purse slung over her shoulder. I rolled my eyes, and before we could make eye contact I turned back to my show.

“Oh Jamie, please don’t be angry.”

“Nice bags,” I snapped, knowing she had coaxed him into taking her shopping, and drinking, and partying, etc.

“Okay, so I stayed out a little longer than I had pla-”

“It’s always like this! Every time you make that excuse ‘I stayed out longer’ It was THREE DAYS mom.” I was really getting mad; I jumped up, “Three freaking days you left me to fend for myself like always!!” I was really screaming now. “If I was like you, I would have been dead already, or living on my own with a kid!” I screeched. My mom just stood there, bags still in hand, her grip loosening, the bags now slipping. Her mouth was wide open and tears were welling on the rims of her eyes.

“I...I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you. I’m a horrible mother. Just get away from me.”

Oh, but I already was. I had peeled around and started for the stairs when I stopped to listen to her useless defense. I was surprised though, because I had never heard her admit to being a horrible mother, but I didn’t care.

“I’M TIRED OF IT MOM!” I shrieked as I was barreling up the stairs. I threw open the door


to my room and flung myself on my bed. I sat up, hugging my knees, tears starting to streak my face. I cried harder, my shoulders shaking and my body going limp.

“Why does it have to be me?” I whisper to myself between my sobbing. “Why..” I managed to choke out.

I went to bed super early that night, basically because I was exhausted from throwing my crying hysterical fit. I could hear my mom that night, trying to softly cry to herself, but really failing like the rest of her life. I had forgotten to pack anything, but I didn’t care, I had decided I would wake up early the next morning. I fell asleep listening to the spring breeze blow gently outside my window, along with my mom’s sobbing. They actually fit quite well together.

My mom had let me skip the week to visit my dad, because I had a 4.0 class average. I rolled my suitcase down the driveway yelling to my mom in the process, “Come on, Mom, I thought you said you don’t even like Dad anymore”

“I don’t!”

“Then what is taking so long!” God, I grumbled. I sat in the car for a long while, when finally she bursted out the door, in her Stilettos and sweatpants.

“Mom, what...how...nevermind.” I put my head in my hand and stared out the window from the car. We said nothing to one another during the car ride. I mean the whole seven hours, not a word. I was lost in my music, again, and she was trying to lose herself in driving which wasn’t working very well. My feet were kicked up in the backseat on top of my suitcase staring out of the opposite window, no way would I sit in the front after what had went down last night. We pulled into the trailer park around three in the afternoon, and my mom finally led us to the right one. Nothing against trailer parks, but out of all of them, my dad’s was probably the worst one there and that’s saying a lot compared to some of those other trailers. If you’ve ever watched the show Hoarders and wondered where they hauled all the junk, this was definitely it. I saw what looked like a half-eaten couch, a rusted dirt bike, engines, motors, you name it. Anything in the junk dictionary was here. On top of that, the place looked like it had been abandoned for maybe, oh, I’d say, at least 20 years. The siding was peeled off completely off on one side, revealing the insulation. I spotted a little vine peaking out of the roof, slowly snaking its way around the corner and around to the ground where it was rooted. The grass was choppy where it looked like the Hulk on steroids had tried to cut it. Definitely not what I expected.

“Jamie, are you sure-”

“I’ll live, mom. It’s not that bad; it’s only for a week.” I snapped, not believing what I had just said. I was really thinking, This is going to be horrible. How am I going to survive? This is going to feel like centuries, but I kept it to myself, not wanting her to worry.

“Do you want me to walk up with you?”

“Mom, please. I’m fifteen years old.”

She dropped her head, “Well, I was kind of hoping-”

“You could see Dad again? Whatever,” I shrugged. I saw her smirk for just a split second, then went right back to being “depressed” as she says. She jumped out of the car, her fake purse hung around her wrist, as we trudged up the driveway. The smell was also awful, making me regret coming. I decided to tough it out and endure the conditions for my dad and also so my mom wouldn't think she was right. Something behind me caught my eye, and I glanced back. It was only two seconds at most, but the literal best two seconds of my life. There was a boy, about my age, riding a skateboard. It’s hard to describe him really, but I honestly believe it was love at first sight. His bleach blond hair lay against his head so perfectly, not a fly-away in sight. He was tall, lean but not to the point where he was bone skinny, very muscular, too. He was wearing a blue Aeropostale shirt that was a bit too long, or a size too big. His jeans hung limply on his hips, falling gently over his legs. His eyes were clear crystal blue, so clear I could see them from the twenty feet where I was standing. His nose was almost too small for his face, but not to the point of being noticeable. His lips were large, but not too large for a guy, and curved slightly downwards. His cheeks were flushed pink, and his skin tone was amazing, such a perfect tan. He saw me smiling, like an idiot I might add, at him and smiled back. I almost melted, right there, in the front of my Dad’s crappy trailer, in the rocky asphalt that he called a driveway. His teeth weren't too white or yellow just a balance. He wore silver braces that complimented his eyes so perfectly. I waved, and as he was waving back I heard my mom screech,

“‘Mom, hurry up,’” she imitated.

“Sorry,” I grumbled and caught up with her at the front door.

“That kid was a cutie, Jamie.” she nudged me and smiled that ridiculous smile when she's crushing on the latest man candy. I rolled my eyes, my cheeks reddening to an absurd point.
“I didn't think he’s that cute.” Lies. He was the most perfect guy I had ever seen.

“Oh, don't lie to me, I saw the way you looked at him. He totally likes you.” Still smiling. I turned away grinning.

“Well, maybe...”

“I knew it. I knew it. My baby girl has her first crush.” She slipped her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

“Mom, stop.” I shoved her arm away and glanced back around to make sure he hadn't come back this way.

“Just ring the doorbell all ready,” She reached out and pressed it.

“Coming,” someone inside growled. My heart fluttered a bit, knowing it was my long lost father I hadn’t seen in years.

“Did you even tell him we were coming?” I hissed.

“Duh” My mom replied. I heard shuffling feet inside, and the door cracked open, revealing a tall, buff man around 40. His beard was just coming back in where he had shaved, and he had a torn, stretched, washed out, black t-shirt on. He wore red shorts, too short for a guy his age and I was guessing they were boxers.

“Uh, hi, Dad,” I said awkwardly standing at the doorway, trying not to stare.

“Who are you?....” He looked me up and down, like he had never seen me before in his life.

“Dad, it’s me, Jamie,” I croaked, hoping my mom had actually called.

“Come in,” he barked, his scowl had been washed away and replaced with a straight face, pursed lips. I walked inside and the immediate smell of dog pee burned my nose. I glanced around, knowing this was going to be the worst week of my already horrible life. The couch was nothing more than a worn out, bedbug filled, wreck. There was only a small T.V. that looked like it was from the 80’s and the nasty couch in the living room. The kitchen had dirty dishes piled literally to the ceiling, in the sink, and on the counter. The fridge looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since the day it was used, and the floor was soggy and limp, caving in even in some spots. I’d rather just sleep outside. I thought to myself. I was careful where I dropped my stuff; then started back outside because I felt like I would pass out. It was a small yard filled with junk just like the front, but I could see woods beyond that just over a hill that was slowly descending as the woods went on. I’ve always been in love with nature. It’s always amazed me how it’s so perfectly balanced. Everything knows their role so that the ecosystem can run without problems, flaws. I can sit outside for hours watching leaves drop to the lake, the lake flowing over rocks, and down the creek. Just listening to the water flowing so gently, remembering all the good childhood memories I had had before that night. Before my dad screamed and smacked my mom across the face. Before the first night ever I had actually cried myself to sleep, sobbing. Before the divorce, the man candies, and the alcohol, all the stupid alcohol. I hiked back a little way, trying to leave my mom and dad some privacy to “catch up” on things. It was a steep hill, with a little meadow down in a valley surrounded by trees, and a creek to the right swiveling to the left and through the meadow. I loved the woods, so I knew I would be spending a ton of time here, reading, swimming, something. I turned back around, hands in the pockets of my faded jeans, and headed back toward the house where I spotted them both in the doorway, heads down, mumbling little things to one another. When they saw me coming they immediately jerked up their heads and acted like everything was fine, too fine. We said quick goodbyes, and I watched as my mom backed down the driveway, almost hitting the mailbox I might add.

“Are you hungry?” my dad said gruffly.

“Um, yeah kind of.” I said, still not comfortable in his presence.

“Here,” He threw me a 20, “There’s a McDonalds down the road. Go left when you get out of the park. Can’t miss it.”

“I...uh...can’t drive yet.” I squeaked.

“Then take the bike. It’s in the back” He flopped back onto to the filthy couch and flipped through channels. I rushed out of the house, going around back to find a rusted red bike, a bit too small, leaning against the side of the house. I pedaled fast, because I was practically starving. I heard wheels behind me and my adrenaline started racing, and I mean racing like a Nascar. I looked behind me and saw the kid, the attractive kid I saw.

“Hey, are you new?” he asked, his blonde hair still perfectly in place, his voice so soothing and gentle.

“Uh...no. I’m just staying here for a week with my dad.” I stuttered.

“Oh, cool, I never got your name, cutie,” He laughed, and I couldn’t really tell if he was joking or not so I just laughed and replied,

“Jamie. Jamie Falvey”

“Nice to meet you Jamie Falvey, I’m Aaron” He stuck out his hand, like a gentleman of course, and I reached out and shook it. His hand was so warm and inviting. We rode for awhile, and I reached the edge of the park.

“May I ask where you are going, Jamie Falvey?”

“McDonalds” I laughed, “You don’t have to call me Jamie Falvey, Aaron”

“Well, that’s your name isn’t it?” he grinned, like he had rehearsed this for years, and it was perfect.

“I prefer Jamie”

“Well then Jamie, I’ll come with you. I’ll pay.”

“I have money, it’s fine-”

“No, I insist, I want to welcome you to the all-original Woodland Trail trailer park,” he waved his hand at the park behind him, and I laughed.

“Well, I guess you can come as long as I beat you there!” I took off on my bike pedaling as fast as my skinny little legs could take me. I heard the wheels of his skateboard racing hard down the street. I whipped around and saw him, not more than five yards behind me, eventually him beating me there. We ordered and sat on the sidewalk outside the place, sharing fries, me devouring my sandwich. Once he made me laugh so hard I almost choked, then he laughed so hard he cried. That was probably the best/first date I could have possibly had. We stood up, the sun now barely visible over the horizon, our butts sore from the concrete. I biked home and he rode home. He even walked me up to my door.

“Well it was an absolute pleasure to meet/hang out with you, Jamie. What’s your middle name?”
“You really want to know?” I hated it. A lot. I told him anyways.

“Marie”

“That’s a very pretty name, so do you mind if I call you Jamie Marie? That does have a very flattering ring to it.”

“You know, it’s totally okay with me, as long as you say it,” I smiled. It wasn’t the kind of smile you flash at Christmas when you have to pretend to like your gift. (I’ve mastered that one.) It was a genuine smile, one I had never experienced before.

“Cool, well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Jamie Marie.” Before I could control what was happening he reached out to hug me and by then I thought I had had a heart attack. What a shame that would be, to be zipped up in a body bag before you turn sixteen. I threw my arms around his neck and we just kind of stood there, both of us enjoying the moment. I finally pulled away and went inside not looking back.

The next day, just as he had promised, I heard the now-familiar sound of skateboard wheels in the driveway. I jumped up and peeled around the hallways reaching the doorway in two seconds flat.

“Hey, glad you came” I smiled that smile, for the second time ever.

“I came to invite you to my trailer. My mom made us some lunch” he said, very inviting.

“I would love that.” There is was again, that smile.

We enjoyed lunch. That was the highlight of my day. The calm before the storm right? Well the storm that was coming was more like a hurricane.

It was the fourth day when my life changed forever, for the very worst I might add. It was 2:47 in the afternoon and the phone rang.

“I got it!” I cooed.

I picked it up expecting it to be Aaron, since I had given him my number the day before.

“Jamie Falvey?” a lady asked, I’d say around 35, really confused by now.

“Jamie, I have news about your mother.” I was now getting worried.

“It seems that approximately four days ago, your mother was in a fatal car crash. Apparently the airbag was not working correctly, and her chest collapsed on impact when the semi-truck hit her. I’m very sorry.” It was almost like a monotone, no sincerity in her voice whatsoever.

“No, you must be mistakened.” Tears were welling, big hot tears, the kind you cry when you plan to cry yourself to sleep.

“I’m afraid not. Goodbye.” The phone went dead, but I held it still expecting a call back saying it was the wrong person, but it never came. I let the phone drop out of my hand, the tears really flowing now, I flew out of there and down to the meadow. I threw myself down in the field surrounded by the knee high grass, just laying there, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing. Sobbing so hard my whole body was shaking, realizing I couldn't go back, there wasn't anything left for me. In the distance I heard Aaron’s skateboard wheels and turned away not wanting him to see me like this. My makeup was running down my whole face, my tears were streaked gray, my clothes had mascara stains from where I rubbed my eyes. I guess he heard my ridiculous sobbing and came running because I heard the grass being stomped and the twigs snapping under his feet.

“Oh, God, please don’t see me like this,” I whispered and prayed, but I guess God didn’t feel like listening because he showed up anyway, stopping as soon as he saw me, Then running down the steep hill. I started laughing. I have no idea why, but everything was just so bad it couldn’t get worse so I started laughing harder. Then they turned back into sobbing, and Aaron fell to his knees right beside me, reaching out his arms, and I crawled up into them, not knowing what else to do. We sat there a while, me in his arms. It was the best thing in the world except for the fact that my mom was dead.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He reached around and brushed the hair that had stuck to my face, so gently, like an infant. I cried harder, wanting to say it but couldn’t find any words except cries.

“Do you want me to leave?” he whispered.

“No, please stay. I hate for you to see me like this” I sobbed and whispered back. The leaves started blowing ever so lightly, a bird chirped in the distance. The sun was starting to dip below the horizon, giving off a warm glow. It was cooling off, and the grip around my waist became stronger, but still so gentle. My back was pressed against his chest, and his chin was just rested above the back of my head, not more of a two inch space between us.

“I still think you're beautiful.” he whispered. It was so soft I barely heard it. He kissed the top of my head, and I knew I needed to tell him everything. So I did. Everything that had happened. He listened, stroking my hair all the while, as I told him about my story, starting from the night my parents fought.

“Wow, you have been through so much.” he was still using his placating voice, soothing me to where I wasn’t even sobbing anymore, just tears rolling down occasionally when I thought of good or bad memories about my mom.

“God, I don’t know where I would be without you.”

“I think I love you, Jamie Marie”
“I love you, too