Bombs exploded around me. An I.E.D detonated and sent my jeep flying. Bullets fly from the sandy hills and embedded themselves into Jason and my driver. Annie laid on the gravel of the road. No not her! Don’t touch her! No! No!
I woke.
Another nightmare.
They won’t stop.
I reach down and feel my legs. Oh, yeah.
I grab for my wheelchair, my paralyzed legs useless to me.
I grab the wheel of the device and it slips from my grasp.
I fall onto the cold floor and grab my stitches. The bullet wound never healed.
“Help! Help me, please!” I writhe in pain and wait for her.
The door on the opposite side of my bed opens and she walks in.
“Oh my god! Daniel!” She yells as she grabs me.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I just… need help in my chair.”
“Okay, ready?” She grabs my upper body.
“One… two… three!”
She pulls me up and I frantically grab for my wheelchair.
I scream as my spine stretches.
“I… I can’t…”
“Yes you can! You have done it before!”
My waist drops into the seat, and I adjust myself.
We both pause as I catch my breath.
She finally speaks, “You’re getting fat, Dan.”
I smile at her. She doesn't know how much that hurts me. I wish I could jog the track or go to the gym again.
Instead I pull her down to me and kiss her.
“Thank you, Annie.”
She pushes me out to the kitchen.
My caretaker, walks from behind me and stands over by my sink.
“Good morning, Jane!” I say to her
“Good morning, Daniel!” She says. “That was a nasty spill you had this morning! You have gotten heavy!”
“That’s exactly what SHE said!” I point my thumb behind my chair at Annie.
“I made scrambled eggs for you, babe,” said Annie as she pushed me to the table.
“You suck at cooking. You’re going to poison me,” I jest.
“Shut up, fatass. You are going to eat the eggs and you will like it!”
We both laugh and I look up at her.
I love her so much, after everything we have been through. Even through my deployment as a United States Marine, she still wouldn’t leave my side.
She was with me, even in Iraq.

***********************************
I stare out the jeep window. My rifle in hand and combat boots laced to my calves. Annie sat beside me. My dog tags stuck to my white shirt. Sand stretched for miles around the road.
“Your days as a field medic are over Ann, finally,” I said, “I’m still pissed you followed me to Iraq.”
Annie put her hand on my leg.
“I can do what I want, and I wanted to serve my country,” She said.
“No, you didn’t trust me by myself.”
“I just wanted to be with you.”
“You could have been hurt.”
“I could have, but I wasn’t,” She said as she slid closer to me.
She grabbed my cheeks and pulled me close.
We kissed, her hands on my chest and my hands on her lower back.
The soldier to the other side of me scoffed and looked out the window.
“Hey, she’s leaving for the US today man, you won’t have to deal with us anymore.”
He just smiled and stared at me.
“Yeah, suck it up, Jason!”
Jason laughed and said, “I can be pissy if I want to! I just wish me and the old woman could be as happy as you too. You both are so perfect for each other it makes me sick.”

********
I scoop the eggs off my plate into my mouth.
Maybe she is right, I am getting fat.
Annie comes up to me and drinks her coffee.
“My dad is visiting us, today…” she said.
“Oh! I almost forgot about that! You okay, baby? You sound nervous,” I said.
“Its just that… I haven’t seen him in three months. I haven’t seen anyone in three months!”
I furrow my brow and say, “Babe, we had the neighbors over just last night.”
“I haven’t seen anyone Daniel, and no one has seen me.”
Sometimes I am concerned for my beloved Annie.

*********
The jeep stops.
Our driver brings his radio down from the roof of the vehicle.
“Lima forty two, just calling in checking to see if the bomb clearing vehicles have cleared this area of the road yet.”
There is a moment of static.
“The road hasn’t been checked. But it appears to have been a neutral zone for over five months. It is your decision to proceed.”
The driver turned around.
“What do you guys think? Should I just drive?”
“Screw it, we got to get this little one back to California,” I said as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Alright,” he grabbed the radio, “We are proceeding on the road. See you at base.”
The jeep lurched forward.

*************
Annie’s father knocked at the door.
I wheeled up to the large wooden doors.
Annie came from behind my chair and opened the door, revealing a bald and bearded man.
He was wearing a red polo shirt and khakis. He was about fifty pounds overweight and had muscular shoulders, obviously a working man.
“Hey! John! I extended my hand to him and he firmly grasped it.
“Hello Daniel.” He had a somber and depressed look on his wrinkled face.
“Dad!” Annie came from behind the door and walked up to her father.
He completely ignored her, like she didn’t exist.
“Daniel, I would like to talk to you in the other room,” he said.
I wheeled myself to the kitchen table and waved my hand at the chair opposite mine.
“I’ll make some coffee for you, Dan,” Annie said as she walked into the room.
Annie’s father pulled out a chair for himself and sat down.
“I came to discuss the events of a couple weeks ago.”
“Oh, yes. I remember.”
“I apologize for my reaction ...eh… What happened wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have treated you like it was.”
I gesture my hand in a fluid motion.
“Water under the bridge.”
He seemed surprised at me.
I continued, “You were obviously intoxicated, you made all these crazy assumptions. I forgive you. but I think you need help with your drinking problem.”
Annie’s father leaned across the table.
“I have been a recovering alcoholic since Annie was six years old.”
“Then that is even worse! You were doing so well…”
I wheeled over to him and extended my arms in an effort to comfort him.
“Don’t you touch me!” He snapped, “I came to apologize. I will not be made fun of in such a immature way!”
I wheeled backward.
“I meant no disrespect, sir. I’m sorry.”
“Dad, please leave him alone. It wasn’t his fault. You are still angry dad!”
Her existence went unnoticed for a second time.
“I’m sure you didn’t, but you joking does not make our current situation better!” he said.
“I never approved of your marriage. Both of you were too young. Especially her.”
Tears began to well up in his eyes.
“And for both of you to join the military…”
He choked up, tears now fell from his face.
“She loved you so much, Daniel. So I must share her love.”
I grabbed his arm.
“It’s okay. I love you too. I’m glad we can settle our differences.”
He bent down and hugged me.
“Coffee is ready!” Annie said as she put the two mugs on the table in front of us.
She hugged her father.
For the third time she was ignored.
“Excuse me, but I think you can extend some of this love to your daughter,” I said.
“I do every day, I bow my head and speak to my girl every time I visit my church,” Annie’s father said.
“I don’t think that is necessary, she’s right next to you!”
“I think I get it Daniel.”
“I don’t think you do. Acknowledge your daughter! It’s the least you could do after she made this great coffee for you! She made the little creamer leaf in it and everything!”
I picked up the mug but stopped.
The leaf that she put in my coffee was not there.
“Daniel…” Annie’s father was concerned, “I made that.”
“But she is right there… I saw her put the creamer in it!”
Annie’s dad lurched upward and slammed the mug on the table.
“You can make fun of me and I will become angry! If you dare speak of my little girl in such a disrespectful way I will be furious!”
I wheeled away from the furious beast of a man.
“I’m not disrespectful! I’m just saying she makes good coffee!”
“Dad, stop!” Annie pleaded.
“You listen to me you little s***!” He growled, “Don’t you dare take the accident in a comical tone!”
I stopped. He mentioned it.
The accident.

*********

An I.E.D detonated and sent my jeep flying. Bullets fly from the sandy hills and embedded themselves into Jason and my driver. I laid on the gravel of the road. The small rocks were heated by the Iraqi sun, and by my blood.
I couldn't move my legs. A bullet had just hit me in the small of my back.
Then I saw her.
She lay on the gravel. Blood trailed from her neck and head. Her blond hair mixed with sand and blood. Her face stood still and peaceful, as if she was sleeping.

***********

“You son of a b****! I lost my legs to that accident! Don’t you dare think I would ever joke about that!” I screamed at him.
He angrily stared at me.
“Then don’t you dare make fun of my daughter’s death!”
Death….
Death……..
Death……….
I leaned forward.
“What did you just say?”
“Annie is no longer with us,” said her father.
“What are you talking about? She’s standing right there!” I said.
He looked where I was pointing.
“Daniel… Annie has been dead for three months…”
The world froze.
Rage welled up inside me.
I pointed to the door.
“Get out.”
“Daniel..”
“GET OUT!” I screamed!
Annie’s father stood and walked out of my home without saying anything.
I rolled up to the door and watched him drive away.
Annie had her hands on my shoulders, she massaged them for me.
I turned around and wheeled towards the kitchen.
“Annie, baby? Could you please make me the coffee with the creamer leaf in it? Please?”
She stepped backwards.
“Daniel… No…”
I stopped. She still stood at the door.
I looked over my shoulder.
“Wh-wh-wh- why not?”
Tears began to well in my eyes.
“I can’t daniel. I just can’t.”
I turned my chair around and pleaded, “Baby please! Just one cup! It doesn't even need to have the leaf in it! I just want to see you make it!”
“I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”
She walked up to me and grabbed my face.
“I always loved you baby,” she said as she kissed both my cheeks.
My face and body was ice cold. My mouth hung open and my eyes stared ahead blankly.
She withdrew.
She walked to the door.
“Annie… Annie No!”
I cried. Tears streamed down my face.
“Goodbye Daniel, I love you.”
She exited the door.
I frantically pumped my arms, thrusting my wheelchair toward the door to try to stop her.
“Annie! Annie stop! God damn it! Annie!”
She closed the door behind her.
I hit the door and smashed my face into the door knob.
The chair flipped and threw me from it’s embrace.
I laid there on the floor staring up into the ceiling.
Tears streamed down my face. I was stuck here. Immobilized. Like I’m not even human.
My caretaker wouldn’t be back until tomorrow evening.
But I didn’t care.
I could lie here forever. I just didn’t care anymore.
Nothing mattered.
I closed my eyes and mouthed four words.
Four words that would haunt me for the rest of my physically and emotionally crippled life.
“I love you, Annie.”