Her skin hurt more than she thought it would as she caked on the makeup. She sighed at her reflection, unhappy with what was staring back at her. The flesh colored powder was just the slightest shade darker than her natural coloring. The powder was her mom’s. Something she should’ve gotten rid of, but in the end didn’t. She was glad she kept it. She’s used it more times than she can count. She winced at her touch and tried not to make so much noise.
Outside her little brother cried, “Ruby, I need to go tinkle!” Seriousness cloaking his high five-year old voice. She could just imagine the scrunched up eyebrows and pursed lips on his smooth face. She tried not to smile too hard. It made her face hurt. She looked back in the mirror and finished up. The darkish-blue shade of the bruise, like the color of a stormy sea, made the dark colored face powder even darker. When she backed away from the mirror she could see a large spot of discoloration. She sighed and looked away. It was the best she could do. She opened the door and held it open.
“Knock yourself out.”
Her little brother quickly shuffled into the room and shut the door, not even sparing a glance to his sister’s odd face. Good. He shouldn’t see.
She quickly got finished getting dressed and grabbed her backpack. There was a slight rip in the bottom of the bag, but she could only shrug it off.
She slipped on her favorite old pair of jeans and her worn jacket. When she entered her brother’s room, she found him standing in front of his closet, hand rubbing his chin. He glanced at his sister and looked at her with full seriousness.
“I don’t know which. Striped or dots?” He asked in between busy breathes.
“I don’t know.” She answered. She sat on the floor behind him and stroked his fine blond hair.
He looked right at her and said, “You’re right. Striped.”
He handed her his chosen shirt to put on him.
“When did you get so smart?”
He shrugged and pulled his head out from under the collar.
“I’m ready.”
She took his hand and before standing up said, “You remember what we gotta do when we get downstairs, don’t you?”
He nodded and put a finger to his lips. She gave him a slight nod.
When they got downstairs, they jumped over the stair step that squeaked, and took off their shoes to walk over the wooded floor. Ruby, carrying both of their backpacks, gave her little brother his, and kept hers.
Suddenly Ruby’s bag broke from the bottom, giving way to many sheets of paper, spirals, and folders all hopelessly falling to the floor. Ruby’s little brother gasped and started scooping up the papers with his tiny little boy hands. Ruby bent down to help, having no idea how she would carry all of the things but trying anyway.
Her stomach dropped as they heard a snort and a grunt coming from the living room. She slowly stood grasping hard to her little brother’s hand and the only spiral she managed to grab in her other hand. The old couch creaked with a shifting weight, but before the figure could get up, Ruby and her little brother were out the door, leaving her backpack behind. Papers and all.
They ran all the way to the bus stop, not stopping for anything. When they finally got there, they sat down on the wet sidewalk, and started putting on their shoes. First Ruby put on hers, then tied her little brothers. She helped him stand up, and as she twisted around to reach for her journal, she couldn’t find it, only shiny white sneakers attached to black socked feet were standing in its spot. She got up and tried to wipe the wetness off her backside before taking the journal from White Sneaker’s hand.
“Thanks Will”
Will shrugged and studied her face. Ruby remembered the makeup and the dark spot. She resisted the urge to raise a hand to cover it up, but just looked him straight on, pleading him to not mention it. After several seconds, he looked away and knelt down to give her little brother attention.
“Hey Brian.”
“Hey Will.”
Will silently held out a green M&M to Brian, and Brian took it quickly. For as long as Ruby could remember going to school, this has been the routine. Will, Ruby, and Brian would all stand waiting for the community bus to take them to the school bus route. Ruby would drop off Brian at the daycare next to the school bus stop, and Will and Ruby would wait side-by-side for the school bus. Will always had M&Ms. He would always give Brian one, and offer Ruby the bag. Ruby would always decline, pleading no appetite. But today was different. This time when Will offered her the bag, she took it. Thus, the cycle was broken.
When they were dropped off at the school bus stop, and Brian was happily playing in daycare, a cloud of awkwardness smothered the silence between Ruby and Will. No word was said, and no questions were asked.
Will got on the bus first, followed by Ruby. The bus driver was a nice old woman, between the ages of 60 and 70, though she would swear to be 39. She never let Will or Ruby enter or leave the bus without a hello or goodbye. Ruby hoped by some miracle she would let Ruby pass without a word.
“Ruby, did I hear a hello darling?”
No such luck.
“Hi,” Ruby said under her breath not look up.
“Ruby, let me see your beautiful face.”
Ruby slowly lifted her face and looked into the bus driver’s wrinkly eyes.
The bus driver let out a heavy gasp and asked the dreaded question.
“What happened?”
Ruby stayed silent for a while. Some questions you can’t answer truthfully.
“I fell.”
And so went the day filled with “what happened?”s and “I fell”s. And so went the day filled with unreturned eye contact and hidden faces. And so went Ruby remembering what really happened between unanswered questions. And with every “I fell” a thought always sprang into Ruby’s mind. If you really cared about what happened, you’d ask me why I was lying. But no one ever did.
Ruby, a usual punctual and an A and B student, barely scraped by with all her classes. Missing assignments and late grades piled one atop the other. The only thing asked of her that she could supply was notebook paper. She was always asked for an excuse. One she could never give without raising more questions. Questions were one thing in Ruby’s life she could depend on, and one of the many things in her life she wished she could get rid of. When she gave no valid excuse, the teachers would give her one long disappointed look and move on.
As the last bell rang in school, Ruby jumped up from her seat and ran for the bus. The bus ride took too long before Ruby could reach her brother. Will sat next to her, and did not take his eyes off of her face until she got up and walked off the bus.
She quickly took her brother in hand and put his backpack over her shoulder. They headed out, but instead of heading to their house, they headed the opposite way, as they have always done every afternoon after school. Hand and hand they walked past one block. Two. Three. They only stopped and turned when they got to a high iron gate, designed like the ones you see in movies. Rueville Cemetary the sign said in thick cursive letters. Ruby traced the R with a cold finger and pushed open the gate. They walked as if they were in a trance, knowing exactly where to put every footstep until they suddenly stopped, looking at a small ordinary stone standing in the midst of many. Written in the small letters on the stone were the words:
Rosa Migury
Beloved Wife and Mother of Two
1967-2010
Ruby remembered the day she scratched out the word wife. It was only a couple days after the funeral and she just started walking to the graveyard after school. Brian had come with her and had helped her find a rock. It took a full hour for her to make the word undecipherable, but it was worth it. So many things in her life were lies, but she couldn’t stand the fact that her mother’s tombstone was one too.
As she traced the rough scratches in the stone, tears started rolling from her eyes, like silent thieves. They had the touch of a butterfly and didn’t even hurt her bruise; if she had wiped the tears away, it would’ve hurt, so she just left them to make a salty residue on her cheek. Behind her she heard the word “Mommy” whispered softly under Brian’s breath. The word hung in the air willing them to never forget. More tears spilled from her eyes, but she still did not make a sound.
Behind her she heard the crunch of sticks and the rustling of grass. She didn’t look up, hardly caring. She only took notice when an M&M bag was shoved beneath her nose offering her a colored candy. She slowly twisted her head and stared in the boyish face of Will. She got up and took the hug offered to her. Will raised a hand and wiped the tears from the side of her face with no bruise. His low voice began to speak.
“You didn’t fall, did you?”
She shook her head no and looked down into Brian’s face and took his hand.
Will stepped away and look at her.
“Will you tell me the real story?”
Slowly she nodded, right then deciding that she would. Because he cared enough to catch her on her own lie.
She took a deep breath and began to tell the story.