Pounding. Surging. Pulsing. My heart might as well just plop right out of my chest onto the drawing-covered chemistry table that holds my possessions. Nothing special just some pens and paper. I sigh as I watch the clock tick seconds of my life away. I am not only thinking about the bell ringing, releasing me from this lecture about something that completely makes my mind explode from being overwhelmed by the complicated unknown.

The hatred that he can muster up towards me. It sends me into a daze of confusion and amazement. I don’t understand the source of this unwanted hate. What did I do to cause someone I once loved to see me as a shallow, waste of space? The question continually passes through my wandering mind.

“Miss Jones…” I hear my name faintly. A distant, yet close call. Silent, barely noticeable. “Miss Jones! Your answer is?” My teacher’s raging voice snaps me out of my day dream of thoughts and questions. A clustered mess.

“What was the question?” I ask while being utterly confused. He scowls at me piercing me with his judgment, scarring me. “Je ne sais pas…” I answer in French attempting to make myself seem smarter. Anger washes over his face.

“English!” He yells.

“Oh… Right…Sorry... I don’t know... How can I answer a question when I don’t even know the question?” I don’t mean to be rude. I almost apologize but he grunts and turns his body to the board. He writes down our homework expressing fury in every stroke. Ugh! I sigh and rest my head in my palms. Just one more person to add to the list of people who hate me.

The bell rings as the clock strikes 2:40. These extra thirty minutes to make up for the ice storm are not helping my complicated, sleep deprived life.

“Look who it is.” Christian walks up with his minions. “Extra-completely-ordinary Allison Jones.” His laugh makes me feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. Bruising.

“Where are you going? Don’t you want to hang out with us?” Peter blocks my path by throwing his muscular arm in front of me.

“Would you please… move?” I mumble out from underneath my insecurities.

“Aww…. Ally… Don’t you remember the good old days?” Christian’s hands slide over my shoulders guiding me to face him. He leans in close making my skin feel hot, fiery. “I loved you.” He says gently. The words echo through my mind. “You threw it all away because of what? A rumor that I cheated on you?” My heart breaks all over again when he mentions the word, cheated. His voice quickly changes from gentle to full on raging anger.

“It’s not a rumor when it’s true.”

“Lies!” He snaps as his minions keeps me from running towards my bus. “You know something? I wish that I never liked you! You ugly, ordinary girl!” He turns to walk away.

“It wasn’t a rumor. I… have… proof!” I choke on the words as tears bust out like drops in a waterfall. “Let go of me!” I pull myself out of the minions’ grasps and walk away. I pause. “I was there for you… and even if you to continue to be a jerk to everyone who crosses your path, then so be it. But know this, my door is always open no matter how terrible you make me feel about myself, how low you grind me into the ground. I made a promise that intend to keep!” His face becomes plastered with a shocked expression.

The bus ride home is a bumpy, lonely, quiet experience. Was I lying? Should I have been meaner to get revenge? The mind ranting begins. Like dominos once on is knocked over it’s nearly impossible to stop the others from going with the flow of gravity.

The driver slams on the breaks sending my flying into the seat ahead of me. I rub my temple. As I gather my things my phone vibrates in my back pocket sending chills up my spine. I shiver. I quickly hop off the bus and look to see who sent me the text.

“I heard what happened between you and Christian. Ally, you… okay?” A message from Sophia although sweet and thoughtful will not be answered. I don’t even know how to answer that question.

I ignore the constant buzzing. It seems like for each step I take a new message takes refuge on my phone.

I stop dead in my tracks. That car. I slowly, cautiously walk towards my driveway. I am not in the mood to be a punching bag for him. Again. His face is pink and puffy, damp from the tears that must have dripped down his face. I knock on the window. His blue eyes look up at me.

“Everything alright?” He shakes his head as I slide into the car beside him. “It’s your mom… isn’t it?”

“She’s not getting better… She’s getting worse.” The sound of the words is like a dagger to my heart. I’m glad he came to me but I honestly thought that he wouldn’t. I place my hand on his bulky shoulder and take his hand. Regret fills his eyes. “I’m… I’m sorry. You kept your promise when I was terrible to you. I’m sorry.”

“I find that people do stupid things when they are scared. This doesn’t mean that the things you did are okay and I don’t forgive you but I believe we can get there.” I kiss him on the cheek and hug a son who will soon lose his mother to the demon of Cancer.