So what? I’m sixteen years old and I do not see past Friday night on any occasion and all of a sudden I loved someone and I want to change myself for someone who doesn’t even give a damn about me. You know, he kisses me with intentions on hurting me and I kiss him with intentions of falling in love. Drunk on the floor of a random bathroom at 2 am throwing up with tear stained cheeks and a broken heart is when I realized there was so much more to life than making the boy whom I love love me back.

With a dazed mind, I got up from where I was and stared at myself long and hard in the mirror. Taking in all my flaws. One by one. Two by two. Three by three… I realized that I am who I am. Regardless of how small my boobs are. Regardless of my size 9 jeans. Regardless of my unplucked eyebrows and my huge nose. Regardless of my acne or how dark my hair is or the fact that one eye has more eyelashes than the other and the fact that I have crazy thick curly hair that makes me look like a lion rather than a beautiful girl. Regardless of everything that makes me who I am! Regardless of it all… I am who I am and who I am should be okay with who I am.

I was still sad of who I was though so I slid back down to my spot on the floor. I took a deep breath and thought of all the ways I could improve myself. Maybe I could keep my mouth shut a little more? Maybe I should stop slouching? Maybe I should wear way more makeup and spend an extra 30 minutes in the gym or maybe even start tanning? Maybe I should eat more salads instead of pizza and maybe I should start straitening my curly locks because boys do not like girls with lion hair, right? Maybe I should wash my face more and I should probably stop dressing like I forgot to care? Maybe I should just tell him how much I love him? Give him the satisfaction of knowing I would change myself for him. Or maybe I should just avoid the situation? Or maybe I should just stop drinking to figure out the answers to my problems and stop feeling so god damn sorry for myself.

He sees me as a girl with lion hair and I see him as the most handsome man I have ever seen. He sees me as something to do when he is bored and I see him as something to be around every waking second. If he never wants to know me for more than someone to kiss when they are drunk and bored then maybe he isn’t the man I thought he was and maybe he just thought I wasn’t the girl he thought I could be.

I got up from my spot on the floor and looked hard and long at myself in the mirror. I realized I am who I am. Regardless of how great of a cheekbone structure I had. Regardless of how straight my teeth are. Regardless of how you can see my laugh lines or how beautiful my eyes were or how perfect my curls were. Regardless of the fact I didn’t have to wear too much makeup because there wasn’t much to fix… Regardless of everything that makes me who I am! Regardless of it all… I am who I am and who I am likes who I have been and who I will continue to be.

Happy with whom I was, I slid down to my spot on the floor. I took a deep breath and realized I didn’t need the extra 30 minutes in the gym nor the ridiculous mounds of make up or to change how I dress. I was fine being who I was. If that ridiculous boy with the beautiful smile and curly hair couldn’t fall in love with the girl who had store back at me in the mirror… than that is his loss and he should kick himself. Who I am does not need a boy who has to get drunk in order to even touch her. I do not need anyone who does not need me and I do not need to change myself for anyone either… No matter how much I think I love them.

Drunk on the floor of a random bathroom at 2 am laughing with tear stained cheeks and a fixed heart is when I realized there was so much more to life than making the boy whom I love love me back. I'm only sixteen, after all...