I sat on the ground defeated. No longer trying. I watched as my mascara ran down my cheeks and onto my hands. I watched as my beautiful white dress was slowly coming to darken with my black tears. I held my heart as I felt it collapsing in my chest. I looked around and I saw his words dance all around the room. Each sentence each word, dancing, them stabbing into my already wounded heart. Making my heart beat hurt with every word that seeped into me. I closed my eyes trying to escape the endless circle of his words dancing around me.
"Stop! Go Away !" I yelled to the dancing words, but they only grew bigger with and bolder. Not only now could I see them , now I could hear them whisper it in his voice.
I coved my ears and eyes, praying to the lord to stop this agony before I went insane. I grew weak, my heart already so damaged with every word that seeped into me. And just when it was all too much for me to handle, just as I was about to pass out from desperation, and insanity, and brokenness, the commotion stopped. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the dancing words begin to fade. some faded, others dropped instantly. I watched as they all disappeared and then it was quite. I was left in a blank white room, quite and alone. I didn't know to feel happy or remorse. Had I forgotten all the painful memories? Had My brain permanently blocked the pain? Blocked him?
"No. Your brain Has not forgotten, or blocked such memories. They are only temporarily gone. Because you ordered them to." said a voice in the distance. I squinted as I tried to make out the figure in the distance. I watched the dark shadow grow as it inched closer. Fear grabbed my heart. But as it stepped closer into the light and out of the showdown I could clearly see it was a girl. I stared as I watched her inch closer her beautiful white dress shimmering into view, as she walked with grace, elegance, and strength. I Looked up and gasped. She was beautiful. So beautiful it was painful to look at her. She looked so strong, so fierce, so held together, so familiar..
I gasped as I truly looked at her.
She was me! The strong beautiful version of me!
"You're.. you're me?! I mean I'm you! Or you're me!?" She gave me a calm patient smile.
"Yes Ashly I am you. I am the strength inside of you. " I stared as my eyes watered. She held her self like a queen.
"I felt you call."
I let 2 tears run down my cheek embarrassed to look at her, I must have looked awful and pathetic.
" I didn't call.." I said not meeting her eyes.
She knelt down and put her hands on mine. Her beautiful soft elegant hands."
"Not you, your pain. Your agony."
I stared at my hands as more tears ran down my face.
She lifted my chin and I met her eyes. My eyes. Only they weren't my eyes. Because never could my eyes show such fierceness, such strength. She grabbed my hands and stood me up.
"What are you doing? Your a queen Ashly. Your tiara is falling."
"I'm no queen, I'm just a stupid broken hearted girl. "
She smiled ,
"If that were true I wouldn't be here. I am a part of you Ashly. "
"No. you're not. I could never be so strong. So beautiful. SO fierce. "
She smiled and held my face.
"But you are. I have come back, because some how you have separated yourself from me. You have let your pain feed away your strength. I have come back, to make you strong again. "
I stared at her.
She wiped my tears.
"Here Let's get you under control again."
She ripped off my stained dress, and left my interiors on. I covered my naked flesh as the breeze hit me.
"What are you doing?" I said cold and shaking.
"To feel like a queen, you have to dress and act like one. "
"But.. But I have no more clothes."
Then she turned around and out of no where a wardrobe appeared out of thin air. I gasped in shock.
She rummaged through the closet till she pulled out this beautiful green silky dress. It was heart shaped at the breast, with rim stones, and velvet. It was so beautiful my breath caught. She eyed the dress then came over and slid it over me. I eased into it as my body automatically heated up. Then she sat me down in a chair that of course popped out of thin air, and began to remove the stains off my face.
"I always hated makeup." she said.
I looked up and realized she didn't have any makeup on at all. and she was completely beautiful .
When she was done, removing my makeup, she began to elegantly pin my hair, in a braided bun. Once my hair was neatly pinned in a beautiful elegance hairstyle she grabbed a tiara which as you can guess, popped out of thin air, and gently placed in my hair.
She stood me up, and told me to hold my chin out. Like I was royalty. She smiled at me, and I felt myself smile back.
"Do you want to see ?"
I nodded and out of thin air popped out a body sized mirror. When I stared at the reflection my eyes went wide with shock. I was beautiful like a queen. I did look fierce and strong."
The other half of me, stood next to me, and smiled.
"Are you ready to embrace me once again?"
I smiled and I turned to her again. "What if I need you again?"
She smiled that elegant smile of hers.
"Just call. I'll be here. "
I smiled and thanked her.
She bowed to me, and then stepped into my body. I instantly felt my strength and my fierceness. I felt like the queen I needed to be. The queen I was.
I was strong.