One Last Wish | Teen Ink

One Last Wish

November 3, 2013
By princessrachel GOLD, Wilmington, Delaware
princessrachel GOLD, Wilmington, Delaware
17 articles 2 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
You have to be willing to sacrifice who you are for what you can become.


Rose Mary Tatum was a 14 year old girl from Montgomery, Alabama that passed away on June 26 of 2010. She had a long lasting battle with cancer and was finally called home by our maker. Rose Mary was a very passionate, faithful, hardworking, and determined girl. She had a dream to make the world a better place and cared about everyone. I was her father... well I consider myself to be that, Rose Mary would swear to you that I am, but the DNA would prove different.

My name is Robert Bell. I am a 52 year old man from Austin Texas. I originally met Rose Mary online a game. There was a lot of kids and adults on there, but I always tried to keep my distance from the young ones. A lot of people who come online use it as an escape so I used it as a way to help those people. If someone needed to talk, I would listen to them. If someone needed advice, I would share my wisdom. I'm an ex marine, I've been a teacher, I did my duties as a real father, and it's safe to say I've had quite the life experience.

I know there are a lot of people out there who will already judge me from what I've so far said. How could you let this girl get so attached to you that she thinks you're her father? Why'd you even let her talk to you in the first place? I've heard it all before and none of your judgments can hurt me. There's so much more to the story than you'll ever know. I'm not stupid and I know the internets not a safe place, but if you want to go there, then the world really isn't too safe either. The internet is a sample of the real world and you are right that there's a lot of times the good meet the bad. Now, imagine something: If there's usually always a good person to meet a bad person, do you think it's possible that once in a while the good do meet other good?

Rose Mary came from a home without a father. Her mom worked very late hours and when she was home she would drink and get mean. Her neighborhood had violence, galore. There was a lot of fights and sometimes gun shots. She had no siblings and no pets. She was bullied at school and only had one friend. I let her vent to me, gave her advice on making friends, standing up to the bullies, and being happy despite of the troubles. Most importantly, I taught her about the unconditional love of a father that she couldn't have got anywhere else. I tried to give her life order and basically raise her through a computer to the best of my ability. She had bedtime at 10:30, homework had to be done before she could get online, and she wasn't aloud to talk negatively about herself which was a weakness for her. Rose Mary saw me as the bright spot to her life, the part of her day that she could always look forward to. Therefore to ensure that she'd follow rules, if she didn't, I wouldn't let her talk to me for a day. It was the cutest thing, she could never lie to me even if she tried.

As a real father, I had 3 boys so Rose Mary was like the little girl I never had. It sure is a shame her real dad wasn't in the picture because she was a true daddy’s girl and the most amazing daughter I could ask for. Rose Mary was a quick learner and would always come on the next day with a new theory she had on how to make the world a better place. Her strongest beliefs went against judging completely. I once taught her that everyone is different and none of us have the right to judge, but she took it much further than that. Rose Mary believed in the simple things like smiles, hugs, heart to hearts, and taking walks. I guess you could say she liked the simple things because they distracted her from her complicated thoughts. There's so much to say about her, I could go on and on and on. I talked to her and tried to help/raise her for about two years.

One day she disappeared from the world of the internet and I didn't have her phone number. Anything could have happened to her, I pondered. Maybe she decided it was time to move on from this. What if she was killed, kidnapped, trapped? I thought of all the worst things that could have happened. I really didn't have a way to try and contact her, but as a father I blamed myself for not trying harder. For four months I thought about her everyday, until I got the phone call. It was Rose Mary's mom. “Hello? Is this Robert Bell? Who are you and what have you done to my daughter? Why does she think you are her father?” She cussed at me, called me names, screamed, and cried. As confused as I was, I answered all of her questions and stayed calm. She hung up on me. I still had no clue what happened to Rose Mary. I still loved her, I still worried, and I still prayed.

It was only one month, but it felt like forever. I got another phone call from Rose Mary's mom. “Hello? Robert Bell? I've had some time to clear my head. I'm sorry for how I acted last time. I know this wouldn't have happened if I was a better mom. Thank you for being there for my daughter. I have some bad news. Rose Mary was diagnosed with cancer five months ago and has been hospitalized ever since. They don't think she has much longer. Rose Mary has one last wish before she goes. She asked me if she could meet her father... she wants to meet you. Will you come?” I told her, “Of course” and she thanked me with all her heart.

I have so many emotions you couldn't even begin to imagine. One of the worst pains in the world is the pain of a parent who loses a child. I don't think anyone will understand the pain I feel by this. I don't know how to explain all of this to my wife, but I knew that regardless of what anyone thought, I would go and make Rose Mary's wish come true. I had to get there before she died. I did get there and it was as special as a scene in a movie. The bond that I felt between her and I was even as strong there in person, as it was online, maybe even stronger. I gave her a hug, told her how beautiful she was, expressed how much I missed her and reminded her about my unconditional love for her. Rose Mary cried and thanked me so much for coming. She kept telling me how much she loved me and asked one thing of me; to carry on the fire inside of her heart to make the world a better place. “You got it kiddo” I said with a smile.

I still miss and think of Rose Mary to this day, three years later. She will always be my daughter and she'll always live inside of me. I try my hardest to make the world a better place, for her. I would never pass judgment on anyone, I smile at everyone I make eye contact with, I offer free hugs, donate money, visit children in hospitals, and much more. We can all make the world a better place, and it truly does start with the small things. If we could all be more accepting of each other, the world would be a less lonely and hateful place. If someone seems hard to talk to, try to get past the wall they've built up, If someone is alone, offer them to join you. If someone is being bullied stand up for them. Chain reactions truly do exist, start one. Make the world a better place, for Rose Mary, for those that you love, for anyone out there suffering, and for the integrity of it. This was for you, Rose Mary. I hoped you liked it. I love you, kiddo.



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