The Beginning of the Uprise | Teen Ink

The Beginning of the Uprise

March 26, 2013
By AquaRev PLATINUM, Bonner Springs, Kansas
AquaRev PLATINUM, Bonner Springs, Kansas
44 articles 6 photos 7 comments

It was a cool October morning outside the camp. Heavy gray clouds hung above my head as I silently slipped through the forest with my hands buried deep in my pockets, though to no avail. On the other side of the wall protecting the camp, I could hear quiet murmurs of the soldiers rousing and beginning their day. A single bird sighed above me in the most haunting tone I’d ever heard. I couldn’t help but let a single tear run down my dirty face, before wiping it away with the rags I wore.

Many memories crossed my mind of how my brother and I would play in this exact forest as children, when the days were brighter and warm. Now cold had settled on this land, brought by the soldiers from the north who invaded my country. I wouldn’t dare come near their barriers on any occasion except for today. Today the walls and soldiers didn’t frighten me. I was immune, numb to the very fact that I was alone now in this godforsaken world, and this was my final act against these tyrants for taking my little brother. They took him in the night, only 17 years old, and he was to be executed on this very day.

I was suddenly aware of the things around me, and how utterly black and pointless life seemed to be. Rounding the bend down by the river, I began to hear men and could smell burning tobacco and sweat. Slowly, I crept against the trees, blending in with the gray background. I could faintly see the silhouette of two men leaning against a tree, smoking from their pipes. Five other men drank coffee, and two men were standing guard next to their prisoner, my brother. His frail wrists were bound tightly, and I could see red marks around them. A bright white cloth was tied around his face and I could see him trembling from here. My heart began to thump and adrenaline pumped through my body.

A man pulled out a pocket watch and signaled to the other men drinking coffee. Suddenly, guns appeared, which had been strapped to their backs the whole time. It was nearly time, and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move… My brother was about to be executed, and all I could do was stand there and watch.

The two soldiers standing guard drug my brother to his feet, and leaned him against a previously built wooden wall. He could barely stand from fright, and his breath steamed quickly in and out. My feet were stuck to the ground, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Then I saw him, the man who had killed my mother and baby sister seven years ago in cold blood. He stepped forward in front of my brother, and whispered something in to his ear, making his skin go pail. I wanted to leap forth from the tree I was hiding behind and stab this man in the neck, the man who had ruined my life.

He moved away from my brother with a slight smirk on this face, and then cleared the way for the firing squad. I ordered my feet to move, to do something, to save him…yet all I could do was stare and hold my breath, praying for a miracle. The men raised their guns on command, and suddenly I saw a change in my brother’s stance. He seemed taller, more sturdy, and more sure of himself. His breath was steady and his feet stood planted in the ground. Then his mouth opened.

“I have lived a child within these woods, waiting for the day I could feel the sunlight again. You’ve taken away my family, my freedom, and my will power.” He paused and tilted his head up, as if gazing at the ashen sky behind his blindfold. “Today you will send me home a man, for I have become stronger with every passing day, and so have the ones among me. You will see your demise. You will taste the blood you have shed. You shall all rot in hell.”

Then, with a single snap in my soul, my brother lay dead as the gunshots echoed through the valley. I then lifted the gun hidden within my rags which held just one bullet. I steadied my breathing and heart, waiting for the devilish man to show his face. He was still smirking when I caught his eye as he turned to walk away, and before he said a single word, I planted a bullet in his heart. His men turned around, startled.

Within in seconds, I laid dead, too.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Apr. 5 2013 at 10:00 pm
AquaRev PLATINUM, Bonner Springs, Kansas
44 articles 6 photos 7 comments
Thank you :)

on Apr. 5 2013 at 10:00 pm
AquaRev PLATINUM, Bonner Springs, Kansas
44 articles 6 photos 7 comments
Thank you for the lovely comments! It's always great to get feedback from a fellow writer :)

on Apr. 5 2013 at 9:57 pm
AquaRev PLATINUM, Bonner Springs, Kansas
44 articles 6 photos 7 comments
I suppose I thought of this as a single narrative. It's meant to be left open-ended, yet seem as if it's only the beginning. Perhaps I'll consider continuing the story :)

on Apr. 5 2013 at 4:20 pm
bookmouse BRONZE, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
1 article 90 photos 251 comments
If this is just the Beginning of the Uprise what happens during the rest? 

on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:40 pm
tianna-alexa BRONZE, Minden, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
A writer never has a vacation. For a writer, life consists of either writing or thinking about writing.<br /> &mdash; Eugene Ionesco<br /> <br /> As well as pretty much everything that comes out of John Green&#039;s mouth.

What an ENDING! -attempts to collect thoughts for an actual review- In short, this was STUNNING. It was one of those pieces where the reader is begging for more - how did the characters get there, who exactly were the villians, what time period was this set in??!! You pulled me in from the very beginning and had me on the edge of my seat to the very end. Thank you for writing this chilling, exceptionally-written piece. :)

zozoe SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 4:34 am
zozoe SILVER, Jerusalem, Other
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don&#039;t matter, and those who matter don&#039;t mind.&quot;<br /> &mdash; Dr. Seuss

this is a really good and powerful peice. i really liked it.