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Becoming Someone
"What do you WANT from me? And don't tell me nothing. Everyone WANTS something from me.” She laughs mockingly at my wide-eyed stare. Gesturing around the room, she says: “Do you see anyone here? Anyone precious? Friends? Family? No. I don’t need friends nor family. I most certainly do not need you.”
She stares at the wall for a moment, contemplating it’s emptiness, a small tight smile on her lips. I am silent, waiting for her to speak again. She does.
“When I was a child, like you are now, I was nobody. I was ugly and stupid, and no one wanted me. So I promised myself that I would become somebody, someday. Since then, I’ve worked and worked and worked. And, as you can see, I’ve clearly achieved what I wanted.”
And it’s true. She’s beautiful in every way, as well as sophisticated, graceful, full of charm and energy, highly successful in her career. Well educated and mannered. Well, when she chooses to be well mannered anyway.
And yet…she is alone? Lonely. Devoid of inspiration. How can this be?
“Why?” I ask finally, after what feels like an eternity.
She looks at me, her gaze impassive and without emotion. For once she is not sarcastic, or rude or demeaning. Her posture is correct and stiff, her hair lies in perfect ringlets around her shoulders, her mouth is set and hard. The next words she says instantly evaporate every feeling of hate I have felt for her thus far, leaving only pity for a wasted life behind.
“When you become someone other than yourself,” she whispers, voice uncharacteristically soft, “You lose yourself in the process.”
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